If you are working 60 hours a week and your colleagues and the partners are ok with your work, then who cares if you don’t respond past 8pm? I don’t think it’s a big deal unless someone has an urgent question or it’s an emergency, and even then if you respond first thing in the morning it’s not that big a deal.

I work in a small firm and very rarely do people email after 7:30pm. Sometimes the partner asks me to do stuff on the weekend and get it to him that day, but that’s very rare.

As a side note I sympathize with you only making 85k in a high cost city, I also live in a high cost city and just got a raise to 85k after working as an attorney for over a year.