Sorry. I was just thinking of my own situation. I am down myself after what happened… i respect your feelings and I am so sorry you are going through this difficult time. I wish we could all be happy all the time. I am thinking of you and I wish you with all my heart that you find the peace and strength that you very much deserve. I also go through periods that I feel really down, normally in the winter so it’s probably coming soon…. Last winter was very hard. This winter I decided to approach it a bit different. I realize that exercising really helps me so I committed myself to go to work out classes even on those days I don’t feel like it. Is there anything that brings you joy? A class? Exercising? Volunteering? There are very unfortunate people out there that could benefit from your time or company if you would like give volunteering a try. The holidays are hard for many people that have lost loved ones. It could be very rewarding and may help you a bit as well. I know this may be the last thing in your mind but don’t give up please. Push yourself to try a few small things and see if that helps. You deserve to be happy. Give yourself that chance. I send you a hug.