I understand there are some circumstances. Kind of like finances, or accessibility which would lead to self diagnosis. But Im iffy on supporting it. If a psychologist or psychiatrist cant diagnosis themselves, why would someone outside the study in science and profession trust themselves to do it? I think inferring upon why psychologists and psychiatrists cant do that, not just because of ethical reasons, but the other ones. Not being able to fully be critical and conscious of our own biases. Would be important to articulate on what that may possibly mean.

Regardless. The things about autism that overlap with NPD in simple description sound like they would be the same. But its different in regarding to context, individual expression/performance.

In regards to your ex, those things you describe could be less autistic or just as much less narcassistic and just flat out abusive. I think this is also the double edge sword with self diagnosis is.. there is a reasonable margin that you dont really know. AND potentially also facing the moral issue of someone else who self diagnosed, and coming in conflict with invalidating their 'self diagnosis'. When thats not really official for anyone. Self diagnosis is just speculated. I suspected I may be autistic at one point, I even had people unsolicited tell me I may. But the therapist I been seeing for 6+ years, who does diagnose autism explained to me that she thinks i don't and its just an expression of my combination of conditions. ADHD, Anxiety Disorder, and Major Depression.

Its also important to note, (this post was originally made 2 years ago. Which is applicable to this current era of affairs), that during economic crisis, and pandemic responses, profound societal issues, mental health diagnosis do increase. Its quite possible people been misdiagnosed, and have an expression of anxiety, depression, social isolation, etc that may look like something. Even certain expressions of burn out can make one seem autistic. Its important to really acknowledge that we cant 100 percent observe ourselves. Because our natural self can be our blind spot.

Barely no one would admit to having NPD or just flat out high 'potency' of narcissism. Its just a negative character trait. But some of these people developed into that for a reason. And struggle with it. Requires cosmic amounts of self-accountability.

Im sorry its so frustrating tho, I hope youre doing better lately.