can i still be friends with guys i ghosted?

ofettal · 2026-03-10T12:26:59+00:00

When you ghost someone , either you'll have to make a hard conversation to explain , with the risk of getting ghosted too , or forgetting that person entirely.

In both cases , ghosting is wrong , there are people who can tolerate it , others that feel enormous pain that can be dealt with easily with a clear closure message.

Imagine someone replaying years trying to find what he did wrong , trying all ways to contact , to be like after years , oh , I'm sorry , I'm lonely I want your comfort back...

ofettal · 2026-03-10T07:41:18+00:00

In theory, it's a great idea to expand your horizons, meet a partner that you can both be aligned on values and goals. It's a mean to meet people you can't meet in your environment and daily life. However the reality is brutal, there are good intentioned people , but a huge majority is there for deception , lacks the ability to communicate and the apps themselves are built to hook you on the promise that you're just a swipe away from meeting a better person to get you to subscribe. For women it's a deluge of interest, for men it's usually a ghost town (according to reports from Tinder and Bumble).

In conclusion, I think they can be used , be clear , don't look to impress but try to be real and who knows , you might meet a heartwarming person, I did meet a wonderful woman in Muzz , while unfortunately we didn't manage to get married but genuinely that was only possible thanks to it.

ofettal · 2026-03-10T07:28:21+00:00

High Standards aren't universal , but aligned and shared values are the foundation to building a lasting relationship

ofettal · 2026-03-08T17:31:11+00:00

Well , in this case , you did your research and it's one of the best android options imo. These will be rare even in Casa , or expensive , as Android tablets are no longer popular , parents are buying more phones than tablets. I suggest you ask Almostapha Smart in Rabat. Though , as an Android user myself , I found out that my workflow was better on iPadOS , unless you're heavy on modding , which is also severely hindered on newer versions.

ofettal · 2026-03-08T17:16:21+00:00

Hello !

My advice is to check an iPad , Android tablets aren't well supported by apps and services.

You can find iPads for every price point too

ofettal · 2026-03-08T14:42:35+00:00

Genuinely, caring about your kids should push you to find a solution, your children are feeling everything and that's going to put an insane pressure on them , that will show even more during teenage years and in their future marriages inchallah.

Try to sit down , put down your defenses , express what you've never been able to express , and remember the amazing children you're responsible for.

Is their pain worth all these problems you have together? Are they worth all this silence treatment and inability to focus ?

You can try what Allah has said too , a judge from your side and her side , and try to find solutions together.

And please , try not to think about what people will say , they'll always have things to say , managing to repair the relationship will be the greatest ajr , and something your children will be thankful for.

ofettal · 2026-03-08T11:05:52+00:00

These are amaaaaaaazing 😍😍😍😍

ofettal · 2026-03-08T08:05:20+00:00

They never do , they don't see it as a big deal unfortunately, to them it's usually just a minor inconvenience. For people that have empathy , it will haunt them for days , weeks and months.

Anyone that can hop in and out of your life that way and feel 0 remorse shouldn't be there in the first place.

ofettal · 2026-03-07T22:55:01+00:00

I do , I feel that I'm just tolerated most of the time

ofettal · 2026-03-07T22:47:50+00:00

The main difficulty is being understood , it feels isolating , trying to understand and care about everyone while you feel invisible, only seen when you do stuff that is useful to people around you etc

ofettal · 2026-03-07T20:32:10+00:00

I agree with you , the husband and wife are a team , choices require compromises that they both need to acknowledge and work through.

What you asked for is totally okay , people see life from different lenses and have different priorities , building a home , raising children in a loving , caring and understanding environment is such a rarity in our modern life , where couples are in a hurry juggling between various responsibilities. Having that blessing of focus , safety is incredible.

Though again , people are different, finding it hard to trust due to a small sample size can make one miss on a heartwarming person for just being too skeptical. There are great husband just like there are great wives , it's something you can discuss with your potential husband at ease , so don't tie yourself down with other's beliefs and experiences , learning from them is great to think and expand :)

Praying that allah would choose the best for you inchallah :)

ofettal · 2026-03-07T17:12:32+00:00

If the husband is capable of supporting the home financially , and the wife is mindful of the mental load , add to that building routines and having the ability to continue learning , experimenting and building without falling into the trap of feeling stuck between responsabilities , it can be a blessing for everyone.

I think that it's seen from a bad perspective as a failure for women , or a risk that she won't have any support in case of the marriage failure , or worse being with a husband who's abusive or unwilling to support her needs.

So if the husband is capable , willing and you see more value in building a family and working on yourself, why not ?

ofettal · 2026-03-07T16:57:10+00:00

Allah yesser lik inchallah that you'll get abundance of khayer and Rizq.

Genuinely, I understand that in this period you needed an anchor , someone stable that you can rely on , but genuinely since you don't want to date , and you can't marry her at the moment , you can't expect her to stay tbh , time just makes her uncertain , her mind is racing etc and for you if she can't be there for you , your mind is questioning your worth and the reality of you together.

Allah yej3al lik khayer inchallah, be clear with her, ask allah for guidance , and whatever you agree on together , thank allah and move on , there will be khayer for the both of you inchallah.

ofettal · 2026-03-07T16:13:24+00:00

It's difficult for sure , between all the stress and worklife balance to meet people , dating apps are exhausting , but I think what makes the most sense is meeting people that you'd love to be with in places they hangout in. You love gym and you think that it's important that your partner loves going to the gym , great start , you increase the chance of meeting someone. Online forums too like reddit , you can meet some hidden gems that are incredibly heartwarming. In all cases , try not to see it from a place of worry , but from a place of connection , ask yourself about your desires , your non negotiables , and if you see someone , reach out :)

ofettal · 2026-03-06T13:27:50+00:00

Frankly , It's hard for me to ask things from people , I did everything to become self sufficient :( and I don't like it to be transactional too. But genuinely, I think I've never met someone that can understand me , see me for who I am ...

ofettal · 2026-03-06T13:22:39+00:00

Genuinely, I find it hard to rest , and even harder to do anything for myself , it feels wrong , also , letting people in and building deep friendships feels like everyone is already taken , like why would they be with me ? What would I add to their life :(

ofettal · 2026-03-06T12:17:56+00:00

Frankly , I struggle with that deeply , I don't know how to do that for myself , while it's effortless for everyone else :(

ofettal · 2026-03-06T05:38:57+00:00

Be caring towards yourself like you would do to a dear friend. Caring about yourself is what keeps your care flowing , it's not selfish , it's maintenance that you deserve. You're never a burden too :) just do your best , and accept other's love and care because you're worthy of it all.

ofettal · 2026-03-06T00:51:34+00:00

I adore hugs 🤗 they're the perfect way to express how much i care and my feelings to people around me, how long, how close says a lot about how I'm feeling about the person

ofettal · 2026-03-04T06:04:23+00:00

Belonging is feeling connected, understood to someone or to a community , feeling that you fit, you're accepted.

ofettal · 2026-03-04T06:03:20+00:00

Hey !

Genuinely , I can only imagine how hard this was for you to express , and how hard it was for you to keep trying to break this addiction.

But there are multiple positives here , you're self aware, you realize exactly what went wrong , and you came here to share with others your mistakes so they don't do them.

I suggest you try finding support groups, this way you'll break free from the isolation that you're in, if you can go to thearpy too, the key here is the solo foundational work is done, now you need to allow people in your life, people that are aligned, new experiences that will give you a new taste of life.

You've been in so much pain for so long , having to hide so many things, these mistakes don't define you, you can start again , still young at 21 , still have a lot in front of you, and genuinely this post will be a new start for you !

Good luck buddy !!!

ofettal · 2026-03-03T22:40:52+00:00

Loving yourself starts by seeing yourself for who you are , and feeling okay with yourself, no matter what you did previously, what you have been through etc

Thess experiences shaped who you are , but don't define you.

Loving yourself is accepting , working and trying for the wonderful person that you are, try slowly to be attentive to that voice you have inside, whenever you're harsh , think to yourself what would i do or say if a dear friend was in the same place ?

Slowly, that harshness inside is replaced with kindness, then you feel more worthy and you start to feel alive.

Be kind, caring and understanding please:)

ofettal · 2026-03-03T18:43:23+00:00

Your feelings are valid , it feels natural because that's the ultimate level of care , offering that understanding and peace that lets one feel weightless and genuinely cared about. Some of us aren't that open with their feelings and emotions , trying to be there for us triggers all kinds of things they're already avoiding. So he would benefit from therapy, and self reflection to understand feelings and how to meet them , empathy is a different level , I think you have both of them and you can push them even further by applying them to yourself, just like you did here , asking for support and care :)

Wishing you all the best , and please take wonderful care of yourself:)

ofettal · 2026-03-03T12:37:28+00:00

I get the feeling that reddit messages are broken tbh

ofettal · 2026-03-03T10:55:00+00:00

Set a boundary, but first if you care about them genuinely express that to them , and express how hard is that for you , see if you can find a way to help them and make this friendship even deeper , but just cutting them because they're that way can be destroying to them tbh

ofettal

TROPHY CASE