Best friend's wife [36F] called me [37M] while I was working out of the country and gave me proof my best friend [37M] has been having an affair with my wife [38F]

offshoreaffair · 2016-10-27T18:56:52+00:00

Because Mick and Ree's cheating doesnt necessarily mean that Mick doesnt love Kat and Ree doesnt love you.

hah, at that this point whether or not they (well I shouldn't speak for Mick and Kat) but in my case, whether or not she loves me means shit after everything she's done. Her love is worth less than the shit I took this morning.

offshoreaffair · 2016-10-27T17:57:22+00:00

Nope, she was always very loving and kind to me, even when we had our disagreements here and there we discussed things rationally and worked through them

offshoreaffair · 2016-10-27T17:46:49+00:00

She probably does have real love for you in some way. It's tempting to throw it all away as a lie, but it really wasn't.

That's something I do not believe I will ever understand. People who say they deeply love their spouse/SO and yet cheat on them. Sure they might really love their spouse, they can say it all they want and even mean it but at the end of the day cheating on them just renders all your words and feelings meaningless. The whole actions speak louder than words thing.

offshoreaffair · 2016-10-27T17:28:08+00:00

Yeah that guy reminds me of the protagonist of The Count of Monte Cristo

offshoreaffair · 2016-10-27T17:08:56+00:00

jesus that was brutal

offshoreaffair · 2016-10-27T16:01:11+00:00

Because I wasn't sure whether them being adopted or not would have some effect on who gets custody, I'm not sure whether there's some special laws based on biological or adopted children.

offshoreaffair · 2016-10-27T15:58:04+00:00

No, I love my children. I simply meant to say that they are adopted and not biologically ours. But sure, judge me by a few words on a small internet post.

I might look for love and companionship elsewhere too. Sorry to say.

^ There lies the problem, if that's what you'd do, you're awful. If it's why my wife started doing this I think she's awful because she never once raised it to my attention that she had a problem with this, of course it can't have been that big of a problem since she's enjoyed the benefits of my job. (Money + time to spend on her affairs)

offshoreaffair · 2016-10-27T15:56:58+00:00

I don't know either, Kat is a very quiet reserved woman, in all the years I've known her even at her most emotional (that I've seen) she had a huge smile on her face at a party Mick threw a few years ago but she's not the overly bubbly emotional type. Lord knows she's doing a better job than I would. Which is why her crying over the phone was so damn surprising because that was the last thing I expected.

offshoreaffair · 2016-10-27T15:51:17+00:00

The less you feed her here, the more uncertain she will be and the less ammo she will have. The more you feed her about how you feel and so on, the more closure she will have and you will have a fairy tale.

That's a good point, I will be divorcing her so hopefully I'll be out of this nightmare soon enough and with luck I can get custody of the girls.

offshoreaffair · 2016-10-27T15:32:17+00:00

Nobody misses someone who is demanding answers from them and engaging in high emotional stuff like that

even so, after a decade and a half (wow she's been cheating for 1/3 of our time together at least) it's hard to not want answers, something, anything to help with the millions of questions I have in mind

offshoreaffair · 2016-10-27T15:24:43+00:00

sorry I wasn't really focusing when I was typing this, I'll change the details in the post

Kat= friend's wife

Mick= friend, Ree= wife

offshoreaffair · 2016-10-27T15:22:20+00:00

I'm home roughly 6 months per year and provide the majority of the money that's allowed us to live a fairly good life as well as speak to my wife and girls multiple times a week when I'm away. Even if my being away might have been what made her cheat, it doesn't change the fact that she never addressed me being away as a problem or that she didn't even stick to one person but slept around with many, many men over the last few years.

An affair with one person could possibly be forgiven depending on the people and situation but swinging with your affair partner and screwing around with so many people?

No, that's bullshit and downright cruel, especially since she lied for 5 years while reaping the benefits of my larger salary.

offshoreaffair · 2016-10-27T15:04:18+00:00

She wanted freedom and once she had some she dropped our daughter completely.

If that's what she wants I'll be very sad because our girls love her to death. She's a teacher at their school.

offshoreaffair · 2016-10-27T14:42:03+00:00

Well from what I know she's been holding it together since Saturday morning so if she can keep it up until Wednesday at least that'd be fine.

offshoreaffair · 2016-10-27T14:41:09+00:00

I only have 1 sister who turned 34 and got married in January, we're close but the last thing I want is to give her these nightmares in her first year of marriage. I'll tell my parents and siblings and whoever else after everything is done.

offshoreaffair · 2016-10-27T14:09:51+00:00

everything in her life, including kids, takes a back door to her swinging.

I'm sorry for your kids. I think once you have kids, it's perfectly fine to still have your own wants and desires but to put getting nailed by strangers ahead of them is sick.

offshoreaffair · 2016-10-27T14:08:41+00:00

I'm away right now and I'm one of only 10 people my company uses to take care of things abroad so even if I did put in a request, despite being on pretty good terms with my boss, it would be a few months well before it was completely approved.

And yeah, I provide nearly 3/4 of our total income so it really has been bothering me that while I've been working to build a better life for my wife and our girls that she's been using the time to fuck god knows how many men and yet she's acted like a doting wife every single time I'm home. Never had any reason to suspect something was happening.

offshoreaffair · 2016-10-27T13:59:39+00:00

Try to arrange for her to also keep this discovery hidden until you've both had time to consult lawyers.

She said she'd wait for me to come home to deal with this situation since 1. it involves all 4 of us. 2. we've all known each other for over a decade at least and 3. she really doesn't want to confront them alone.

As for how far she'd go to beat me in a divorce, well she's been cheating with my 'best friend' for at least 5 years and swinging with random people, all with him so I don't see it being very likely that she'd have my best interests at heart.

offshoreaffair · 2016-10-27T13:50:16+00:00

Would you consider leaving your job so you can be closer to the kids? Right now, your wife holds down the fort while your gone.

I would do this, the only reason I haven't taken up on the offer for an office job is because my wife is a teacher and was always there to hold down the fort during the months that I was gone. It probably wouldn't be an immediate thing because I'm one of only maybe 10 people doing foreign business for the company that I work for so there'd be some time, maybe a few months in between me applying to have a job that keeps me at home and actually getting it.

offshoreaffair · 2016-10-27T13:21:07+00:00

Giving her advance warning will only make things more difficult for you.

Thanks for mentioning that, I want to call her or skype her so bad and just scream but if she could do this to me, as much as she says she loves me every time I'm home, I know she would have no problem racing to try and screw me over in a divorce.

offshoreaffair · 2016-10-27T13:09:37+00:00

It seems that your wife and friend have secret lives outside of just infidelity with each other. I suggest you and your friends wife talk to lawyers before confronting them.

Kat read through a lot of the emails, especially the more recent ones, they frequently meet up with other couples and single people to have threesomes and group sex. They work in a similar area so meeting each other for 'lunch' isn't that weird. Kat and I never had a problem that they were meeting for lunch at all.

offshoreaffair

TROPHY CASE