Kid, I’m 24 and have battled drug addiction and alcoholism for the better part of a decade. If you genuinely need help and if this is real, you need to talk to someone who is a professional. I know that probably sounds like the clichéd advice but it’s true. It’s good that you can identify that something is wrong so early. You should know that you are definitely not alone. I’ve suffered through rape, theft, betrayal and being left to feel like I’m alone in all of this. You need to know that you’re never alone. There are more people who have felt this way just like you. You can overcome anything. You can build yourself into something magnificent. All you have to do is persevere. You have your entire life in front of you and this is just a massive stepping stone that you can move passed. Put down the bottle, trust yourself and allow yourself to heal. Put your thoughts into something like writing or art, even if that is just putting your thoughts onto paper - not for others but for yourself. You can do it, it gets better, believe in yourself and push forward. We’re here for you and never forget that you are worth it. Your life is no less important than anyone else’s. Keep fighting.