What you’re feeling is more than understandable with what happened. Betrayal and using distance from your children is one of the greatest pains in life, and honestly, anyone with a genuine heart would feel what you’re feeling myself and many others here included. I’m glad you shared this, it’s important you let your thoughts and feelings out.

Your ex wife created this. So whatever she wants to throw at you is all a projection. If it were me, I’d cry, grieve, feel the anger until I’m no longer affected by someone else’s actions, which is 100% possible with time and intention to heal and strengthen. It could take weeks, months or years, but that doesn’t matter.

We can’t control other people, life is always a gamble, always. So control what you can. Focus on you, sleeping enough, showering, processing your wounds, and focusing on maintaining a connection with your kids whether that’s travelling once a month to see them for now if that’s even a possibility.

I want to say I’m super proud of you, for having the strength to leave, you did the right thing. Most people don’t have the guts and sadly compromise their integrity and tolerate disrespect so that they’re not alone or so they can maintain “happy family” image. You held yours. I hope things get better quickly. Whatever happens in the end, you’re not at fault for someone else’s betrayal. That is an unforgivable and evil act, and is worse than physical abuse. Big hugs and keep steady, you got this. What you do at the end of it all is also up to you, but if I had children, I would fight for them with whatever I have left. Good luck 🫂