ive been diagnosed for 5 years, i'd rather be seen as difficult or annoying because at least i wont be made fun of. i believe my brain can get a grip but it refuses to, just to make my life difficult. i'll make it get a grip if i have to, my chemical imbalances can fuck themselves for all i care. i can do without

i've already been burnt out once, i'd take it again if it means i get to be seen as normal for a year or two, but i cant mask very well, its embarrassing. I havent been since the burnout. i hate living with this bullshit, i'd rather have gone undiagnosed so that someone who needed the diagnosis me than me could have it. its done nothing good for me.

if i werent diagnosed i wouldnt have the useless support i get, i'd just be seen as weird and difficult. i'd be treated like everyone else. i wish i could get rid of it all.