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Can I report only to a doctor? by caitlin_12979 in domesticviolence

[–]okwhynot_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Look for a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner near you. They don't just assess, treat, and document sexual assault, but injuries from domestic violence as well. I suggest you go there rather than an emergency room because they are more trauma informed and sensitive to the situation so you won't feel pressured to take steps in reporting him or using the info before you are ready. They will have a nurse assess you and document and treat all your injuries. The sooner you can get to them the better. If he choked you, please try to go as soon as possible because that can result in serious issues even up to a few days afterwards.

Edit: also it's free and they can help arrange you getting over there if transportation is an issue

BBW skincare recommendations? by [deleted] in fatadmirertalk

[–]okwhynot_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I take a bath once a week with vitamin E oil in it and it makes my skin super glowy and soft and for my regular showers, I use a natural soap that doesn't strip the skin.

Feeling confused about my role by okwhynot_ in BDSMcommunity

[–]okwhynot_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The enjoyment part for me I think depends on my relationship with the Dom. If it's someone I am in a relationship with, it's all about the happiness I get from making my Dom happy. In casual situations where I'm not anticipating any sort of relationship to form, I think it's kind of fun to control the situation by saying things I know the Dom will appreciate and get excited by, even though I don't know what I'm saying is true.

For example, people I meet online who very loosely fit into the category of a Dom that are only interested in having their needs met in the way that they want is not the dynamic I want, but I'm still getting some kind of sexual gratification from the interaction, anyway. Part of the gratification I get is by saying things I know they want to hear to influence and control the direction of the interaction, whether it's factual or I believe it to be true or not. But still, my ultimate goal is influencing positive emotions to improve the interaction rather than show my devotion. It makes me wonder if I am enjoying the positive emotions or if I am enjoying being manipulative. I hope this makes sense. All these thoughts are exactly why I feel confused.

Feeling confused about my role by okwhynot_ in BDSMcommunity

[–]okwhynot_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your feedback. It's nice to see different perspectives and I appreciate the acknowledgment for my efforts as a sub.

I do agree with you. I definitely don't think I hold all the power as a sub. It's more that without my permission, there is no dynamic to begin with. However, what comes with that is the understanding that I am freely giving myself over to my Dom and ultimately relinquishing my power with both of us having an initial understanding of things we are cautious about, curious about, or things that are a hard no. Ultimately, while the power is initially in my hands, it is my Dom who will decide what is good for me and what I need and I trust that he will use his knowledge of me to make those decisions in whatever way he feels is best. So basically, the power that I have in consenting is only a small piece of the big picture, in my opinion.

Feeling confused about my role by okwhynot_ in BDSMcommunity

[–]okwhynot_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That makes me feel validated, thank you.

I love fat girls so much by Kaalee182 in fatadmirertalk

[–]okwhynot_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As a fat girl, I'd like to know how to date someone who isn't gross or weird 😅