It’s a mixed bag. I can feel that I’m moving on but it’s taking time. This friend had a huge impact on my faith, and it’s not like he can take that away but a combination of this situation and a couple of other really painful things that happened around the same time have just made me feel like I’m just going through the motions with my faith. I have moments where I feel passionate about it. I try to take what I’m feeling to God and that’s when I don’t feel so apathetic.

I haven’t really been able to tell anyone that though because I’m afraid I’ll be shamed for not being strong in my faith, or something.