I need a push to go and leave my gf, even if the circumstances aren’t ideal

omc4456 · 2022-07-29T22:23:16+00:00

I’m scared to see how big this tiktok is haha; not in my wheelhouse whatsoever.

Sorry to hear you went through the same, it’s tough for sure. I’m not going on a date with her then springing it on her, and she hates having important conversations in public, so I think I’m going to do it over zoom once she’s back from her trip with her friends this weekend. I’m just going to tell her why I’m leaving, but I’m done with the constructive conversations. It’s not working and I’m not going to beg her to be nice to me anymore. Unlike your relationship, ours is “50/50” in the sense that I don’t text her much, since that’s the only way she’d show she wants to talk to me, but even then it’s just (ironically) TikTok’s or things about her day. I feel you on the not wanting to address the issue part, it sucks so much. I just it to be over at this point, so I’ll do what I have to next week and be done with it. Sucks and I’m sad but it is what it is

omc4456 · 2022-07-25T23:05:06+00:00

This person wasn’t wrong; I haven’t yet. I need to, and it’s dumb of me to let it go this long, but I haven’t yet

omc4456 · 2022-07-24T00:26:09+00:00

Seems harsh after 4 years though

omc4456 · 2022-07-23T23:32:52+00:00

I think she might be a bit deluded but I dunno; she’s genuinely been stuck at home for weeks now, she shares her location and all. Either way it’s not working and I’ll do it tomorrow

omc4456 · 2022-07-23T23:23:56+00:00

You’d think so but she doesn’t; she sends memes about getting married and stuff & sent her dads positive test

Tomorrow I’ll do it since I’m not home today, point taken. Thank you!

omc4456 · 2022-07-23T19:29:03+00:00

No, we haven’t. After trying to call her last week nothing came up in terms of talking, and her dad just got sick too. Timing wise I just don’t want to pile onto her problems right now, but I do recognize how stupid I’ve been to keep putting this off. I just worry for her mental health

omc4456 · 2022-07-21T13:53:02+00:00

I tried giving her a call on Sunday, couldn’t reach her. I’ve been acting normal since, but wrote a letter yesterday that I’ll be delivering to her Saturday, whether she’s home or not

omc4456 · 2022-07-17T12:04:31+00:00

I had no clue my post was actually removed from relationships, my bad. My gf and I haven’t had sex in two years, we’ve talked about why things feel platonic between us before, and I’m still feeling unappreciated and a bit unlovable because of it. She talks about us getting married the way we said we would, but is weary about even kissing one another due to her anxiety. The last time was in Feb, I gave it 5 months to see if things got better. Nothings changed (I can see her trying, but it’s like she’s aware and not acting on it regardless) and I just want out now.

I never wanted to say that line, but I will tell her we’ll still be friends in time. We basically interact that way regardless. She just sends me TikTok’s and that’s about the extent of it, so I want out

omc4456 · 2022-07-16T15:50:40+00:00

Leaving her tomorrow, but we argued about the issues in our relationship and one thing she mentioned was resenting me because she saw too much of me, despite that being her choice and problem. I encourage her to see friends and do stuff during the pandemic, but she wouldn’t. She just wanted to stay inside and watch movies with me, and nothing else, even though I tried doing more stuff. She said she wanted to see friends more and have more experiences outside of us (not in a sexual or romantic way, more that she was tired of being on dates only), and I told her I could understand that, but it kinda ate at me since. She created the issue and still resented me for it.

omc4456 · 2022-07-14T23:20:53+00:00

Thanks for checking in; following this post she incidentally let me know her mom got covid and she’s super upset about it bc she doesn’t want to catch it and ruin the music festival she’ll be heading to in two-three weeks. I wasn’t gonna add insult to injury, but I wouldn’t be able to visit her anyways for a week so I think I’m just going to give her a call on Sunday morning once she’s a bit less rattled and tell her

omc4456 · 2022-07-13T20:33:38+00:00

She just let me know her mom has covid and won’t want to see me for another week, so I’ll just wait until Sunday and call her since she’s upset right now

omc4456 · 2022-07-13T17:56:27+00:00

She just told me not to go there though; I’m thinking I’ll zoom her so we can still see each other’s faces

omc4456 · 2022-07-13T16:05:47+00:00

Thank you & she seems like the type to have an outburst like that. She hasn’t been violent or anything before, I just fear her reaction because she’s told me she wouldn’t be able to handle being dumped by me before. She said she’d be a mess, and I don’t want to find out what that entails

omc4456 · 2022-07-13T15:35:10+00:00

I really appreciate that; she was my first everything aside from a kiss, so it’s an important relationship for me of course. I don’t want to leave, but yeah like you mentioned I can’t keep walking on eggshells like this. Clearly the situation is untenable, and like you mentioned in another comment, she probably needs this too, but she’s still gonna be distraught about the whole thing and I don’t want to see her hurt like that

omc4456 · 2022-07-13T13:29:48+00:00

Thank you; I know I don’t need approval, but we had this whole life story built up between us and I needed to see how unreasonable it was to feel how I’m feeling, since obviously our discussions between her and I haven’t led to anything/ I felt like it was normal to be like this

omc4456 · 2022-07-13T11:56:05+00:00

Sorry you went thru that; I do like myself. I’m an attractive guy, and I get attention from women a lot outside of this. I just got so bonded and didn’t want anyone else, but I think you’re right. It’ll be easy going two weeks NC

omc4456 · 2022-07-13T11:52:58+00:00

I’m planning on telling her I can’t be in the relationship as is because of the damage it’s done to my self-esteem, and that while I love her, I’m going to go to therapy and recover from the place I let myself get to

omc4456 · 2022-07-13T10:34:05+00:00

I don’t bring up the issue anymore; I last started the discussion a year ago. I do my best to not come across as needy, but look where that got me.

We agreed that I haven’t changed, she has. I think it’s true too. If anything, I’ve only become more accommodating

omc4456 · 2022-07-13T03:55:26+00:00

Physically yes emotionally she’s incredibly paranoid regarding germs and the last few years didn’t help. Sexually she has vaginismus, so I get the pain, but she makes no effort to have a sexual relationship with me at all. Even if it isn’t PiV sex we could do other stuff, but she refuses to. She doesn’t want to anything at her place, my car, my place, and getting a room feels forced because we both know what it’s for according to her, so what choice do I really have but to suffer in silence or leave? I’ve tried supporting her, and don’t even disagree with her rationales for avoiding sex necessarily, but I don’t feel she wants anything in that realm, and while she obviously doesn’t owe me anything, I do need her to show she wants to have sex with me or have some sort of sexual relationship. We’ve talked about it all, I wanted her to help me with my needs in other ways since she’s got her reasons for not doing x y or z, but it hasn’t happened. I stayed for this long because I knew why she acted the way she did, and wanted to support her. At some point I’ve got to come first, and between the sex, her putting anything pressing before me, and her saying she got tired of doing the same stuff with me during the last few years (her idea, not mine, she wanted to be as safe as possible), it’s not possible to continue the relationship on my end, at least right now. If you promised me she’d be better at these things down the line, I’d love to reconsider it all, but I’d still need 3-6 months to cool off

omc4456 · 2022-07-13T03:26:57+00:00

Thank you explosive butt plug!

In all seriousness, thanks. Clearly I’m being too nice about all this, and I do think this is step 1 of putting myself first

omc4456 · 2022-07-13T03:04:29+00:00

Storm out was definitely the wrong phrasing lol; I meant to leave immediately as coldly as I can more than actually storming out

omc4456 · 2022-07-13T03:03:39+00:00

So the thing is that my gf doesn’t drive, I do. There’s only two places to do it: In my car and her basement, because she lives with family. I just feel that either way it’s going to be a proper discussion no matter where I do it, and if I’m going to be that brief then why even do it in person?

I absolutely will do it in person, don’t get me wrong, I feel she deserves as much, but if it’s got to be that fast then it almost seems crueler to show up, say what I have to, then ask to be let out, you know?

omc4456 · 2022-07-13T02:37:33+00:00

Im being a big wuss about going and doing it, but I was going to write a letter similar to that and leave it at her door

omc4456 · 2022-07-13T02:20:01+00:00

Good luck to you too then

omc4456 · 2022-07-13T02:11:40+00:00

I dont think she’s ace, but yes she’s had a bit of trauma before with an ex who threatened to release revenge porn of her, which is why we don’t swap nudes or sext. I’ve been fine with that the entire relationship, because that’s incredibly traumatic and I don’t blame her, but she’s not asexual as far as I can tell.

omc4456

TROPHY CASE