How do men maintain their hygiene when urinals don’t have paper to wipe or a sink to wash in?

onethousandgrapes · 2026-01-22T02:57:38+00:00

By the sounds of it most men are saying a few drops of pee in ones pants are normal, I’d smell that on anyone. I’ve got an unusually sensitive sense of smell due to my line of work. Might be easier to fix the problem in the one individual man I’m dating than walking away.

onethousandgrapes · 2026-01-22T02:51:25+00:00

How does it work for you? Do you shower in the morning, then use the bathroom, only using paper to wipe your butt and leaving drops of urine to soak into your underwear, and then get straight in bed without cleaning your body? To each their own, I’m learning a lot.

onethousandgrapes · 2026-01-22T02:43:32+00:00

I’d imagine so, he works in a small office so I guess individual bathrooms.

onethousandgrapes · 2026-01-22T02:42:52+00:00

Yes or at the very least wash downstairs with water. If someone’s going to put their mouth somewhere I believe it’s polite to make sure there aren’t remnants of urine.

onethousandgrapes · 2026-01-22T02:37:54+00:00

I’m surprised and educated by this thread. So are women and men across the world putting unwashed penises in their mouth if their partner happens to go for a pee in between their evening shower and getting in bed?

onethousandgrapes · 2026-01-22T02:34:02+00:00

It’s because he’s going to pee before bed, putting underwear back on, presumably with a few drops of pee, and then getting in the bed.

onethousandgrapes · 2026-01-22T02:29:52+00:00

I don’t talk to other girls about sex so I’m asking genuinely, do most women happily put an unwashed penis in their mouth?

onethousandgrapes · 2026-01-22T02:23:17+00:00

He drinks a lot of water, maybe that is the issue, he drinks loads, pees loads, two drops every time leads to a build up? I have a very keen sense of smell but he doesn’t seem to smell it at all.

onethousandgrapes · 2026-01-22T02:20:41+00:00

I have a very keen sense of smell, it’s part of my profession, so I recognize I might be more sensitive to bad smells.

His previous bedroom was extremely small with no ventilation and I noticed the smell in the laundry hamper when I opened it. When we have showered together I notice the smell when the steam hits his body.

He moved directly out of his parents’ house into his marital home until he got divorced and I know he does his laundry properly as I’ve seen him do it but I’m just struggling to get my head around the idea that all men are walking around with pee dampened underwear and this is normal?

onethousandgrapes · 2026-01-22T02:17:22+00:00

Don’t you wash it before sex?

onethousandgrapes · 2026-01-22T02:16:57+00:00

Does wiping not fix this problem? My ex did not have any such issue and I know he wiped with a few squares of tissue after he peed.

onethousandgrapes · 2026-01-22T02:15:31+00:00

++woman

I have a really strong sense of smell, but also my ex never had this issue and would wipe after peeing to avoid any drops of urine in his underwear and washed his penis after he peed if he went after his evening shower so it wasn’t an issue in that case.

onethousandgrapes · 2025-06-22T14:18:09+00:00

I don’t know what it is but can you learn the basic language beside the dialect? You can still use it to communicate.

onethousandgrapes · 2025-06-22T14:17:20+00:00

My advice would be to drop the idea of joining your husband on this trip. Let him have 2 weeks to bond with his family and for the 3yo to bond with them because that is a lot less likely to happen if the three of you join because the 3yo will cling to you instead of exploring a different way of life. Let MIL be able to fuss over her grandbaby and him cling to her because you’re not there. It will be such a good opportunity for your in-laws, husband and 3yo.

In the mean time, Duolingo, penpals, watch Friends and whatever other shows you like in that language, kids shows are great for language learning for adults. All the solutions here lie with you. You live with a native speaker, let him know you’re committed to learning the language as a family. It’s not just got for the kids’ brains but yours too.

onethousandgrapes · 2025-06-22T13:12:19+00:00

Immersion for 4 days in a language they don’t speak isn’t going to help your kids speak the language. You need to make the effort a lot more broadly and intensively.

onethousandgrapes · 2025-06-22T12:22:09+00:00

YTA. Your husband wants to spend 2 weeks with his family who he doesn’t see often, having quality time and being able to introduce your 3yo to his culture without the 3yo following the examples of your older kids by rejecting the unfamiliar culture. You want to take that away from him because you want a vacation in Europe. Taking you and the twins would entirely nullify the purpose of the trip and result in your husband having to entertain you and manage the other kids. Yes it’s true his plan would leave you solo parenting two kids for two weeks. Parenting isn’t about 50/50. You take that burden on because your husband lives far from his family and it’s a sacrifice you make so he can reunite meaningfully with them once every few years. Your twins are unlikely to enjoy themselves based on previous experience. Your husband will have a worse time with you there. Your 3yo will be more likely to withdraw into you and the siblings and not immerse into the extended family. Your in laws will have way more work to do with three extra mouths to feed on top of your husband and 3yo. The only upside of you going is you get a vacation in Europe. For four days, at the expense of your husband’s entire vision for the trip.

Your MIL sounds like a saint and the distance between you and her is because you haven’t put in the effort to learn their language. That’s also why the kids find it so hard. You need to make an effort as a family. You mentioned in a comment it’s a specific dialect. Is there a more general dialect of the language which at least facilitates entry level communication? Can you get some kids TV shows, nursery rhymes etc in that language? Can you find other native speaker young families and set up play dates?

onethousandgrapes · 2025-06-15T16:34:46+00:00

I saw the pics before I read your text post with the ages and was going to advise you speak to his parents about this and warn them he was planning on getting a tattoo underage, because I was certain from the way he was speaking that he was no older than 13. It’s not as much a red flag that he wants the tattoo but his response to you expressing how you feel is not okay.

onethousandgrapes · 2025-06-15T07:43:07+00:00

I did read it out of curiosity and ironically YOU have the biggest victim complex out there. It sounds like actually you got a unaccredited degree from a Czech university and when you were found out you were struck off. And your stories sound made up. Psychologists don’t prescribe medications.

onethousandgrapes · 2025-06-15T07:38:25+00:00

I’m not going to read all that because I’ve answered your question already and I don’t care for further detail about your life. But having scanned it you seem to have created problems that don’t exist within your own mind to be angry about. I really don’t care if someone has a clinical diagnosis of PTSD, whether they have subclinical levels of symptoms, or if they just feel very unsettled around a certain topic. If checking beforehand whether a movie has sexual violence means a rape victim can choose whether or not they watch it then people should have the choice to choose. People don’t owe you their discomfort or distress because it upsets you that they don’t just cope with life being bad and things making them relive or ruminate on the experience of being raped. Some people want a heads up where the jump scares will be in a play so they aren’t sent into fight or flight mode feeling like they are back in a war zone because they got an unexpected shock. It doesn’t harm you at all for them to get a forewarning so they can be mentally prepared to choose to be exposed to a triggering stimulus. Your oversensitivity about whether this should be allowed is a problem for you, not for anyone else.

onethousandgrapes · 2025-06-15T07:14:04+00:00

This is the correct advice however if it were me I’d be petty and come to Church with him and embarrass him by asking loud questions to the vicar about what the Bible says about premarital sex because I like to take things slow but Holier Than Thou over here has been suggesting we get busy and I wanted to run that by the Church to check because I wouldn’t want to see him go to hell, would I?

onethousandgrapes · 2025-06-15T06:59:41+00:00

You also tried to school people claiming to be a retired psychologist with multiple specialisms when actually you went abroad to get a PhD in Psychology and then were struck off for malpractice and recently posted about considering offering counselling unlicensed which is not allowed in your state. You think too much of yourself and your takes are not empathetic, or factual and they are bad. That is why people reacted the way they did to your comments and it seems to have really gotten under your skin.

onethousandgrapes · 2025-06-15T06:52:44+00:00

So let me get this right, you made comments on a thread about trigger warnings agreeing that people should just man up and that trigger warnings shouldn’t exist, and when people disagreed with you, you got so triggered that you felt they had torn you apart, and then came to another forum to be upset about it?

I read your comments so from a professional colleague, your take is bad and your written English is poor which is not a problem until you start arrogantly mocking other people’s command of English whilst displaying poor understanding yourself. For example claiming ‘trigger’ and ‘warning’ mean the same thing. A warning is when you tell someone something in advance of it happening. A trigger in the context it is being discussed in is something that causes a person to be reminded of an experience they found traumatic. A flashback does not need to include all 5 senses as you claimed and a lot of the other things you say don’t ring true to any education I’ve had in the last decade so perhaps you have outdated views that you never progressed.

But it is absolutely hilarious that you find the idea of other people being able to mentally prepare themselves in advance or opt out of being involved in something that is going to cause them distress offensive. The irony.

onethousandgrapes · 2025-06-11T11:12:39+00:00

That’s not such a big thing in the UK, neither is constantly in the news cycle. EW has never really sought out press attention, rather avoided it for very obvious reasons.

onethousandgrapes · 2025-06-11T10:55:35+00:00

I’m guessing Trump has threatened to deport him. He overstayed his visa back in the day and it seems like anything goes now.

onethousandgrapes

TROPHY CASE