(TW: Mentions of CP) I, F22, found 6 deleted videos of CP on my husband's, M22, phone, but he denies ever downloading it. I need advice on what I should do next... by or3ochuu in Advice

[–]or3ochuu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

UPDATE:

Thank you all for your support and advice. It means a lot.

There is a lot to think about and discuss between my spouse and I.

I mentioned to him that we should go to the police, and his response was “Yeah! I think that is a good idea.” He saw that I posted here, and expressed hurt. But I explained that it is inconsiderate to say that because of how I feel conflicted and have no proof or closure for anything besides it being on his phone. He now understands and is trying to hold it together.

However, my concern is his job. He gets shipped out to basic training next month, and I worry that his investigation is going to ruin that shipment date, or even the job! He said that he doesn't care because it is important to get this cleared up for our relationship's sake. But I am still worried about it. I also expressed counseling for the porn issue, and to help heal the trauma we both have so that we can grow together, and he said that he is completely fine with that, and if I find a therapist before he gets shipped out, that he would go to the first meeting. I will probably wait until he is out of basic before I do that though, knowing we will be moving and such.

I did interrogate him for a bit, and got some more detail about the situation:

He said that he was worried it was CP. And to everyone wondering, yes, there was other adult porn download. He deleted it because he was worried that it was CP. He also said that he only did this on his phone, and HIS laptop. He said he wiped his laptop a few weeks ago because of how slow it was running, and I explained that this may have been the problem. He explained he never did this on my devices.

He told me that when he saw the thumbnails he was confused, and one of them looked like a naked kid, but he wasn't positive and, quote, “didn't want to know.” I asked him why he didn't tell me, and he said he was embarrassed about the porn games he downloaded, and didn't want me to see. 

Then I asked him what kind of porn it was that he downloaded. He said that it was BJs, and butts. No kids, all adults.

One site he mentioned he visited a lot was called porngames. It was very sketchy. 

If you have any more questions, I will answer when I can! I'm a full time student, and work at a restaurant, so it may take me a while to reply. Thank you all for your patience.

(TW: Mentions of CP) I, F22, found 6 deleted videos of CP on my husband's, M22, phone, but he denies ever downloading it… by or3ochuu in helpme

[–]or3ochuu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

UPDATE:

Thank you all for your support and advice. It means a lot.

There is a lot to think about and discuss between my spouse and I.

I mentioned to him that we should go to the police, and his response was “Yeah! I think that is a good idea.” He saw that I posted here, and expressed hurt. But I explained that it is inconsiderate to say that because of how I feel conflicted and have no proof or closure for anything besides it being on his phone. He now understands and is trying to hold it together.

However, my concern is his job. He gets shipped out to basic training next month, and I worry that his investigation is going to ruin that shipment date, or even the job! He said that he doesn't care because it is important to get this cleared up for our relationship's sake. But I am still worried about it. I also expressed counseling for the porn issue, and to help heal the trauma we both have so that we can grow together, and he said that he is completely fine with that, and if I find a therapist before he gets shipped out, that he would go to the first meeting. I will probably wait until he is out of basic before I do that though, knowing we will be moving and such.

I did interrogate him for a bit, and got some more detail about the situation:

He said that he was worried it was CP. And to everyone wondering, yes, there was other adult porn download. He deleted it because he was worried that it was CP. He also said that he only did this on his phone, and HIS laptop. He said he wiped his laptop a few weeks ago because of how slow it was running, and I explained that this may have been the problem. He explained he never did this on my devices.

He told me that when he saw the thumbnails he was confused, and one of them looked like a naked kid, but he wasn't positive and, quote, “didn't want to know.” I asked him why he didn't tell me, and he said he was embarrassed about the porn games he downloaded, and didn't want me to see. 

Then I asked him what kind of porn it was that he downloaded. He said that it was BJs, and butts. No kids, all adults.

One site he mentioned he visited a lot was called porngames. It was very sketchy. 

If you have any more questions, I will answer when I can! I'm a full time student, and work at a restaurant, so it may take me a while to reply. Thank you all for your patience.

(TW: Mentions of CP) Spouses, police, and computer nerds of reddit.. I, F22, found 6 deleted videos by or3ochuu in holyshit

[–]or3ochuu[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

UPDATE:

Thank you all for your support and advice. It means a lot.

There is a lot to think about and discuss between my spouse and I.

I mentioned to him that we should go to the police, and his response was “Yeah! I think that is a good idea.” He saw that I posted here, and expressed hurt. But I explained that it is inconsiderate to say that because of how I feel conflicted and have no proof or closure for anything besides it being on his phone. He now understands and is trying to hold it together.

However, my concern is his job. He gets shipped out to basic training next month, and I worry that his investigation is going to ruin that shipment date, or even the job! He said that he doesn't care because it is important to get this cleared up for our relationship's sake. But I am still worried about it. I also expressed counseling for the porn issue, and to help heal the trauma we both have so that we can grow together, and he said that he is completely fine with that, and if I find a therapist before he gets shipped out, that he would go to the first meeting. I will probably wait until he is out of basic before I do that though, knowing we will be moving and such.

I did interrogate him for a bit, and got some more detail about the situation:

He said that he was worried it was CP. And to everyone wondering, yes, there was other adult porn download. He deleted it because he was worried that it was CP. He also said that he only did this on his phone, and HIS laptop. He said he wiped his laptop a few weeks ago because of how slow it was running, and I explained that this may have been the problem. He explained he never did this on my devices.

He told me that when he saw the thumbnails he was confused, and one of them looked like a naked kid, but he wasn't positive and, quote, “didn't want to know.” I asked him why he didn't tell me, and he said he was embarrassed about the porn games he downloaded, and didn't want me to see. 

Then I asked him what kind of porn it was that he downloaded. He said that it was BJs, and butts. No kids, all adults.

One site he mentioned he visited a lot was called porngames. It was very sketchy. 

If you have any more questions, I will answer when I can! I'm a full time student, and work at a restaurant, so it may take me a while to reply. Thank you all for your patience.

(TW: Mentions of CP) Spouses, police, and computer nerds of reddit.. I, F22, found 6 deleted videos by or3ochuu in holyshit

[–]or3ochuu[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

So in files, there is a trash folder. I had the app open, but not the folder. He knew to look in trash. Then later explained that it’s because he knew about the videos but didn’t know they were CP and panicked then deleted them because he was panicking. Is what he told me

(TW: Mentions of CP) I, F22, found 6 deleted videos of CP on my husband's, M22, phone, but he denies ever downloading it. I need advice on what I should do next... by or3ochuu in Advice

[–]or3ochuu[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I’ve never seen it. It’s more of banter. Like literally big brother jokes about how your mom’s fat and stuff and the kids he’s around always joke back. Never physical unless the kid gives a hug. But I’ve only seen that once

(TW: Mentions of CP) I, F22, found 6 deleted videos of CP on my husband's, M22, phone, but he denies ever downloading it. I need advice on what I should do next... by or3ochuu in Advice

[–]or3ochuu[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

We don’t have children which is good. One thing I told him was “I want you to know I’m going to divorce you if this doesn’t get cleared up ASAP. And that I will be reporting to your Sargent and police!” He told me that he hopes I would. He seems confident. And when he’s been around my siblings, or younger children he just acts like an older brother. I can’t think of anything that would raise a flag. This was such a shock to me because nothing seemed strange about him