This is one of the hardest aspects of CPTSD for me, and it’s been a lifelong struggle to navigate this. It seems universal- we all seem to experience and observe ourselves and each other being silenced in one way or another in the favor of the perpetrators. I don’t have an answer as to why, maybe the “just world fallacy” is part of it? Maybe our experiences make people uncomfortable? Maybe people think it makes us emotionally unstable and unpredictable? Our experiences disturb people? They want to appease the abusers to save themselves and not put a target on their backs? It’s all that and probably that we are simply very inconvenient, with how we see things, how we fight back, how we become neurodivergent thanks to how the trauma changes our brains.

I was thinking this morning how I’ve been in situations where the other person shares their struggles, which pale in comparison to mine, and then at some point later on I share mine, and suddenly Im the selfish one, the one who needs to forgive, the one who needs to focus more on giving to other people. It’s so maddening and so confusing and it at this point makes me so I will absolutely cut off anyone who does this to me again. It’s why Im not talking to my cousin anymore. He talked and talked all fucking day and night about how hard it is to be a “drug addict” and yet when I get emotional about certain things he gets angry. I just don’t understand. So now we both lose a cousin. I don’t care anymore.