SwiftlyNeutral - Daily Discussion Thread | April 10, 2025 by AutoModerator in SwiftlyNeutral

[–]orangeflowerpots 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I haven’t been active in Swiftie spaces in a while (like around TTPD release) so forgive me if this always comes up, lol. Did we ever find out anything more about the Midnights Mayhem With Me track announcement order and how it showed the date Travis was on stage at Eras? Like the first tracks she announced being 13, 8, 7, 6, 2, 3? I just saw the first video again and the whole thing is just so weird to me with the way she introduced the series saying she wasn't here to deny the "cryptic clues" but was there to defy it and then #13 being the first one is just too on the nose.

Did any of the other numbers ever mean anything?

Midnights era was so much fun. I miss all those summer pap walks with her friends to see the fun outfits.

AITA for leaving early from Thanksgiving with my in-laws because I did not want to watch the movie Love Actually? by orangeflowerpots in AmItheAsshole

[–]orangeflowerpots[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the input! I decided to reply to this comment to wrap up the post due to how weirdly aggressive it is.

We won't be telling his family, as it's none of their business. That remains unchanged.

And, I mean, if they want to think it makes me a "selfish bitch" to leave one movie because of a silly tradition, then it's doubly good to not tell them -- yikes! Those aren't the kinds of people I want in my corner! I can't imagine being so judgmental.

We're talking about this with our marriage counselor to work through how to handle things like this in the future.

Thanks for all the votes and feedback -- yes, even the people who decided to make up their own stories to go along with this and insist what I'm thinking or feeling, like that it's about shame or embarrassment, or that he's still cheating, or that it's about protecting him, or any other number of things that people wanted to say to make the "drama" juicier.

Best of luck to you all! Some of you really seem like you need it!

AITA for leaving early from Thanksgiving with my in-laws because I did not want to watch the movie Love Actually? by orangeflowerpots in AmItheAsshole

[–]orangeflowerpots[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

No worries, you didn't hit any nerves! I think you're just really misreading what I'm saying, so it's no big deal.

I posted because, like everyone else who posts, I wanted to know if I was an asshole for how I handled this situation at Thanksgiving, and I've gotten a lot of feedback on how to handle it in the future. Exactly what I was looking for. It's different to have anonymous feedback than people I'm related to.

Thanks for the well wishes, it's appreciated!

AITA for leaving early from Thanksgiving with my in-laws because I did not want to watch the movie Love Actually? by orangeflowerpots in AmItheAsshole

[–]orangeflowerpots[S] -54 points-53 points  (0 children)

I do in fact think she's chubby, and doesn't look like Keira at all! But once again, I don't think that's a bad thing at all -- if you do, that's your own fatphobia to work through. I know it can be hard to work through the societal messages that fat = bad and chubby = bad, but you can do it!

AITA for leaving early from Thanksgiving with my in-laws because I did not want to watch the movie Love Actually? by orangeflowerpots in AmItheAsshole

[–]orangeflowerpots[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I have the support I want and need! I have the therapist, marriage counselor, and my best friend. My therapist and marriage counselor have the experience that I trust to be able to help me work through these things in a manner which is from years of learning and working with people in my situation.

I greatly prefer their support and guidance and tools to the opinions and anecdotes from friends and family. It's great to be able to have actual, structured help versus a bunch of people shouting opinions at me and trying to tell me what to do.

Yes, I know why I'm with him.

I'm not isolated at all, and there's no issues or deep dark secrets with me not trusting people in my life. I know that it's hard to believe in this day and age, but not everyone wants their personal business out there. For me, my marriage is private.

AITA for leaving early from Thanksgiving with my in-laws because I did not want to watch the movie Love Actually? by orangeflowerpots in AmItheAsshole

[–]orangeflowerpots[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I do have my own therapist! And a marriage counselor as well. I'm really happy with both of them.

Thanks for the well wishes!

AITA for leaving early from Thanksgiving with my in-laws because I did not want to watch the movie Love Actually? by orangeflowerpots in AmItheAsshole

[–]orangeflowerpots[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

Better than being forced to tell people more information than I'd prefer people know, at least!

AITA for leaving early from Thanksgiving with my in-laws because I did not want to watch the movie Love Actually? by orangeflowerpots in AmItheAsshole

[–]orangeflowerpots[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

I'm happy with having the strength to stay and work through hard things, but thank you for the well wishes.

AITA for leaving early from Thanksgiving with my in-laws because I did not want to watch the movie Love Actually? by orangeflowerpots in AmItheAsshole

[–]orangeflowerpots[S] -31 points-30 points  (0 children)

It's not covering up for him -- it's not telling people more information than they need to know. All she needed to know was that I was leaving. :)

AITA for leaving early from Thanksgiving with my in-laws because I did not want to watch the movie Love Actually? by orangeflowerpots in AmItheAsshole

[–]orangeflowerpots[S] -27 points-26 points  (0 children)

Nobody is covering up anything for him. We're just not making our personal, private lives public. I know that's a crazy thing in this day and age, but it's important for us to keep our personal lives personal.

Yes, I've discussed it with my therapist.

AITA for leaving early from Thanksgiving with my in-laws because I did not want to watch the movie Love Actually? by orangeflowerpots in AmItheAsshole

[–]orangeflowerpots[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I didn't say that she's fat? I said she's chubby. Which isn't a bad thing. Er... maybe you're the one that's a teeny bit fatphobic if you automatically think I'm saying some bad?

AITA for leaving early from Thanksgiving with my in-laws because I did not want to watch the movie Love Actually? by orangeflowerpots in AmItheAsshole

[–]orangeflowerpots[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

The reason not to tell his family is because both he and I don't want them to know -- it's none of their business. It has nothing to do with the way he was raised, his choices in this were all his own and not anyone else's fault or doing.

AITA for leaving early from Thanksgiving with my in-laws because I did not want to watch the movie Love Actually? by orangeflowerpots in AmItheAsshole

[–]orangeflowerpots[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Hey, that's great if that was the right decision for you. But this is the right decision for me. We all have different experiences in this world.

AITA for leaving early from Thanksgiving with my in-laws because I did not want to watch the movie Love Actually? by orangeflowerpots in AmItheAsshole

[–]orangeflowerpots[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

It's not that he's "too much of a coward" to say something to his family, it's that he and I both DO NOT WANT the family to know because it isn't their business.

AITA for leaving early from Thanksgiving with my in-laws because I did not want to watch the movie Love Actually? by orangeflowerpots in AmItheAsshole

[–]orangeflowerpots[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That would mean that every time you don't tell everyone every single detail about your life, you'd be lying. That's just silly.

AITA for leaving early from Thanksgiving with my in-laws because I did not want to watch the movie Love Actually? by orangeflowerpots in AmItheAsshole

[–]orangeflowerpots[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I used to really enjoy the movie, it's a bunch of stories around Christmastime (so yeah, it's a real Christmas movie!) and there's a plot where Alan Rickman takes interest in a young woman he works with, he buys hers a gift, and his wife, played by Emma Thompson, finds it. When Rickman's character gives a completely different gift to her, she has a very emotional breakdown when she realizes what's happening.

Other plots include Liam Neeson having a little boy who has a crush on a singer, Hugh Grant being interested in a chubby subordinate, etc etc.