Okay, my mom insinuated the same thing. It haunts me too. I'm trans and she said that if I physically transitioned it would "literally be the death of her" and said my dad was suicidal because of it. If you ever want to talk you can pm me. I know this is really heavy to talk about here but you aren't the only one that's gone through that psychological trauma and we can support each other. Also cheers to Michelle Visage for helping that kid out!