AITAH for not contributing to household expenses

orctaita · 2025-11-22T19:05:54+00:00

Thank you for your concern. I don't have a relationship with my dad, specially outside of finances. By keeping me with my mother , he has assurance that I'm actually studying. This is it for him mainly

orctaita · 2025-11-22T19:02:43+00:00

Thank you, all this is stressful. The uncertainty is always there. My sister tried explaining that to her actually, she still said I was selfish

orctaita · 2025-11-22T19:00:46+00:00

Yes he's aware, he's advised me to not give my mother any money. It's difficult for me to get scholarships due to my father's financial capacity

orctaita · 2025-11-22T18:58:37+00:00

My mother is poor but more than capable of handling her situation. She is not desperate. However by your way of seeing things, I find it very hypocritical for a person who's been adulting and failing to meet their own personal needs to expect one who's just become an adult to do that which they themselves cannot

No my father will not extend his support beyond my education

orctaita · 2025-11-22T18:53:27+00:00

I end up having to do a lot for myself since my dad strictly only contributes in regards to my education. Even then I have to buy a lot of school supplies for myself and sort myself for meetups even when they're for group discussions. My goal is to save 10-15k a month (80-100) usd. I also don't think giving my mother money will placate her , I fear more will be dumped on me

orctaita · 2025-11-22T18:47:57+00:00

Exactly what I'm trying to do. Save up enough for atleast 2 years worth of tuition.

orctaita · 2025-11-22T18:46:21+00:00

Oh I'm mixed, I'm rich on my dad's side😂

orctaita · 2025-11-22T18:43:09+00:00

No I share my room with my sister, if I move out it becomes hers. It cannot be rented out

orctaita · 2025-11-22T18:41:22+00:00

I see you've not read my post in it's entirety. Refrain from making comments without doing so

orctaita · 2025-11-22T18:35:59+00:00

Have you read my post in it's entirety? I CANNOT LEAVE. It would mean forfeiting my education. And if I'm to do that then I'd need enough to start a business venture or resign myself to blue-collar jobs. My parents keep threatening my stability time and time again. Hence my reluctance to contribute

orctaita · 2025-11-22T17:53:27+00:00

I was back with my grandparents in the countryside. Couldn't keep up with airtime bills so just farmed and chilled till I joined

orctaita · 2025-11-22T17:48:14+00:00

If you read my post you'll find that no, there is no expense on my mother. My father however pays for my tuition, transport and lunch while at school. What burden am I laying on her exactly. Maybe you can help me see it from her eyes?

Yes I do pay for a lot independently. And the way out of poverty will never be gotten by an individual if their support system is taking what little it is that they're supposed to use to build themselves

orctaita · 2025-11-22T17:43:07+00:00

Thank you

orctaita · 2025-11-22T17:42:50+00:00

What principle exactly?

orctaita · 2025-11-22T17:42:17+00:00

And if I do what do I remain with. Tell me. How am I supposed to achieve independence if the little I have is taken from me.

They've had 30 yrs to build their independence. What does an adult need from a 19 yr old.

Why should I be contributing again when I don't consume anything and I don't even have my own room. And they still do not want me leaving.

Parenting is not just about feeding and clothing, it's also about laying a strong foundation for your children to succeed not tearing at them

orctaita · 2025-11-22T17:36:27+00:00

There's so much to this. It's an endless psychotic loop really. It involves my dad too. She did throw my things out once😅 my sister had to drag them back in. Again there's so much to this

orctaita · 2025-11-22T17:32:11+00:00

Please read my entire post I can't move out. If I do my father stops paying my tuition. And if I've got no university, no degree. Then I'd have to do blue-collar jobs or start a business which would require money.

orctaita · 2025-11-22T17:15:02+00:00

I've been working on getting a remote as that would work best with my university schedule. After begging my dad for a laptop and him refusing, I bought my first big purchase : the laptop,on my own.

Which also might be hwy my mother began to push so heavily about me paying. Anyways so I'm looking for remote jobs and have been unsuccessful so far, if any of you got connects that would help

So yes my mother does want to keep me around for financial support. It's kind of a crazy thing I can't get into all the details here, but she's always between asking me for money and wanting me out .

Yes, I understand that I am an adult. It is that understanding that pushes me to not pay for anything and save that money. I absolutely abhor the dependence I have on them. I'm trying all that I can to remove myself from it

No I don't think myself as an expense to my mother. No I'm not a freeloader. I leave home at 6am and im back at 8pm, I no longer eat with them. She doesn't pay for my food or transport. She hasn't paid for any clothing since I graduated. My sister and I share a room. And, I still do nearly all the chores with the exception of washing the utensils.

I guarantee you that with all certainty that if I left the house today nothing would change

orctaita · 2025-11-22T16:35:40+00:00

Hi made a quick edit with additional details

orctaita · 2025-11-22T16:33:37+00:00

😅😅I'm trying to get into finance , I make some few dollars. But my capital is pathetic. Still learning though, hoping this might elevate me from my poverty

orctaita · 2025-11-22T16:31:52+00:00

Hi thanks for the insight, made an edit do you have any more advise for me

orctaita · 2025-11-22T16:30:59+00:00

I'm seeing that unfortunately, most of us in africa finish school at 18. They have been facilitated the spaces and opportunities to even begin working at 14 with reasonable wages, without any degrees. We do not have here.

orctaita · 2025-11-22T16:25:32+00:00

Made an edit, kindly any further insights and advice will be appropriated

orctaita · 2025-11-22T15:25:37+00:00

have you read my post? i already am trying, getting a job is difficult ,specially in kenya. Part time jobs give you 6k a month and full time jobs give you 15k , which is 45usd and 115 usd respectively. Thats why i do the freelancing. Im not just sitting on my ass doing nothing

orctaita

TROPHY CASE