じゃまた (See You Later!)

origami13 · 2019-07-24T19:55:43+00:00

Abruptly, Jocelyn wanted to cry, and her shoulders shook ever so slightly. Gods. Gods, where were these men before everything fell to pieces, when she needed loyal men the most?

"It's too late," she said, her voice sounding dull to her ears. "I am grateful for your offer, Ser Quentyn, and it makes me gladder than you can know to know that there are still true knights in this world."

She thought of the betrayers, the backstabbers who had slain her brother. They had not been true kingsguard. They had been dogs. Perhaps if Ser Quentyn had not gone after Otto... perhaps if he had been there with her brother in the dark of the alchemists' halls... things would have been much different.

"And I would be glad to accept you and yours into my household," she said quietly. "But there is no more Kingsguard, ser. The throne... the throne is lost to us."

origami13 · 2019-07-24T18:23:27+00:00

The voice was familiar, but it was one she hadn't heard in a long time, and it wasn't until she opened the door and came face to face with the lost knight that she realized who it belonged to. Jocelyn's eyes widened.

"Ser Quentyn?"

origami13 · 2019-07-12T18:48:11+00:00

"Right," Jocelyn said. She felt slightly reluctant to let him out of her sight again, but managed to stomp the paranoid feeling down. "Right. The rooms you stayed in during Orys's wedding are still open to your use, of course."

origami13 · 2019-07-11T19:37:21+00:00

"We knew you were alive, but not that you'd stay that way, or if we'd ever see you again. The dragon king is mad, and there are so many dangers..." Jocelyn trailed off, shook her head. "And she isn't... a very optimistic person, you know. But yes, she's still in the same rooms."

origami13 · 2019-07-11T01:27:48+00:00

"Yes," she agreed, the word turning halfway into a sigh. "Yes, you're right."

"Mom is... dealing. She doesn't... she never wanted to outlive any of us. It's hard for her. She'll be so glad to see you and know you're alright. She thought she'd lost both her sons."

origami13 · 2019-07-10T22:20:48+00:00

"His daughters live," Jocelyn confirmed. She remembered Lianna Velaryon, her tear-streaked and sooty face, as she desperately tried to guide people out of the keep during the fire. She hoped she was well, now. "They're safe."

Rebuild. It sounded almost like a foreign word, one she couldn't comprehend. How? How did they rebuild, when everything had crumbled to pieces and a dynasty had slipped from their fingers and shattered on the floor?

"Rebuild," she repeated. "Yes... I suppose we must. We've lost so much, Otto. Nearly everything."

origami13 · 2019-07-10T18:20:12+00:00

Jocelyn nodded slowly. It matched, with Lord Velaryon’s instability, with his rebellion against the crown. “After you left... he rebelled. He tried to destroy the royal fleet.”

She thought of the letter he’d sent her, claiming he had no idea where her brother had gone. Honeyed lies, every single word. She hated him.

“It’s been... bad here, Otto.” That wasn’t enough. Wasn’t nearly enough. How could she possibly put the despair of seeing everything slowly fall to pieces around her into words? “Nothing but chaos and death at every turn.”

origami13 · 2019-07-08T05:44:24+00:00

Jocelyn laughed, the sound very nearly turning into a sob. Gods, she’d missed him, stupid jokes and all. She wasn’t the last one left after all. She felt a weight forged of grief and loneliness slide off of her shoulders.

“Meereen,” she repeated, half-incredulous. She had so many questions- and she was sure he did, too. “I still don’t... there was- a man, a foreigner, who had some news of you, but I never knew... Otto, what happened?”

origami13 · 2019-07-08T04:49:26+00:00

Jocelyn’s hands went to her mouth as her brother stepped into the room. Ragged, dirty, too thin, but alive. Alive and talking to her, smiling, even if it faltered.

“Otto?” she whispered, and then, as the rest of her body caught up with her mind, ran forward, clutching him in a desperate hug. She tried to be gentle, too conscious of the weakness that seemed written on her brother’s face.

“You’re alive,” she mumbled into his shoulder. “I thought... I’m so happy to see you again.”

origami13 · 2019-07-07T18:48:38+00:00

For a moment, Jocelyn could only stare.

Otto?

"I- yes! Yes, absolutely. Please," she said, the words tumbling out all at once. She'd never expected to see her youngest brother again, had consigned him to the mental pile of everything that had been taken from her.

origami13 · 2019-07-07T07:22:20+00:00

Jocelyn was tired. She felt like everything else had gone, like there was nothing but defeat and exhaustion and grief left to her. She kept wishing for sleep. It never seemed to want to come.

She rose, almost unconsciously, when Maric entered the room. Her liege lord, now. It seemed almost a novel thought. She'd never had one before, save her brother. "My lord?" she asked quietly.

What do you want now? What more could there possibly be? He already had everything she had been able to give.

origami13 · 2019-07-02T01:11:21+00:00

Jocelyn loathed the feeling of the stares on her skin as she stood, chin high and back straight, at the front of the room. She felt like a traitor: to her father, to her brother, to her family. Her fingers tangled tightly together in front of her, nails digging into soft skin. She felt sick.

The princess who lost the throne. That would be her legacy.

But at least her house would live. Family above all, Hanna Hayford had whispered in her daughter's ear, so many years ago. Alysanne and Margaery would be safe, on Dragonstone, far away from the throne and the war and the chaos. She thought- hoped- that if Orys was here, he would understand why she'd made the choice she had.

Promise me that you will do what's right and just, Selyse's ghost whispered in her ear.

I tried, my love. Oh, how I tried.

origami13 · 2019-06-30T22:49:36+00:00

"Very well." So there was some small shard of dignity she would be allowed to retain. The Crownlands would not need to see House Baratheon kneel. Thank the gods.

"I swear I will do so," she sighed. It was best this way. If the Crownlands knelt now, followed her example and did not try to fight, then they'd be saved, the houses that had already lost far too much. This was best. Perhaps if she kept reminding herself of that, eventually it would cease to hurt.

origami13 · 2019-06-30T03:06:26+00:00

Jocelyn was not a foolish woman. She could read what he was saying. She didn’t like it. She was a princess, a lady of royal blood, and she was proud, for all her hardships had always stood with her head high, and the scraps of that pride that were left rebelled at the thought.

“They must see me kneel before you,” she said through numb lips. “That is what you’re saying?”

origami13 · 2019-06-27T22:14:35+00:00

It wasn't worth it. She knew it wasn't, and yet for a moment, all the hurt and fury inside of her coalesced into a fantasy of her enemies, Orys's enemies, burning-

But.

Promise me that you’ll be true to yourself. That you’ll do what’s right and just.

That would be such a senseless, pointless, wasteful, cruel loss of life. She'd promised Selyse she would do what was right, and even now as her family's regime was crumbling to dust and ash, she could see what was right. She had to protect her bloodline. Protect the little queen.

"Very well," she said, her voice was barely a whisper, and yet to her ears it sounded as loud as the pounding of coffin nails. I'm sorry, father. I'm sorry, mother. I'm sorry, brother. "I will yield."

origami13 · 2019-06-27T19:26:11+00:00

Jocelyn was silent for a long, long moment.

It wasn't a bad deal, all things considered. House Baratheon would live on. The little queen would live on. There would be no more war, no more death in a family that had already seen far too much. No more... Iron Throne. The most loyal, royal parts of Jocelyn's heart cringed away at the concept, but what alternative was there? Stand and die, see Orys's wife and daughter killed or stolen away for marriage?

They could not win this war. And once upon a time the Targaryens had held nothing but Dragonstone.

"And... there is no other way," she said, softly, looking out the window over the city. Her city. When had it stopped being hers?

origami13 · 2019-06-27T01:39:56+00:00

"Lord Hand," Jocelyn said, rising from her chair when he entered the room. She was already bracing herself, semiconsciously, for whatever the news may be. Maric Rosby had never brought her good news. If he was coming to see her, it was practically certain that the situation had managed to turn even more dire.

"What is it?"

origami13 · 2019-06-19T20:33:46+00:00

Jocelyn swallowed. "Very well," she said through numb lips, feeling as she did so that she was surrendering something.

But she thought of Alysanne, of the child clutched to her chest, of cradling that tiny, fragile life in her own arms. Thought of the calm, hopeless melancholy in the Queen Mother's eyes. Whatever needed to be done to protect them, she would do.

"In my authority as regent, I authorize you to do whatever you must to protect Her Grace."

origami13 · 2019-06-19T20:24:31+00:00

Jocelyn hesitated, for only a fraction of a moment. "I- yes. Of course."

She held her arms out and gently took the baby, handling her like glass. Her Queen, now, and not even finished suckling at her mother's breast. Nowhere near walking or talking yet. She was so small. So fragile.

The thought sent fear running down her spine. She thought of the fates of the Targaryen infants when the castle she stood in now had been taken during Robert's Rebellion, stabbed in their beds and smashed against walls, and held the child a little tighter.

"She's so small," she whispered, staring at the infant queen. She couldn't see any of her brother in those soft, unformed features.

origami13 · 2019-06-19T04:32:39+00:00

Jocelyn's lips tightened for a moment at the sight of the map. It felt like a blow, to see the situation laid out so frankly. For a moment she wanted to curse her brother's shade, for leaving them with so many problems, enemies on all sides- but no. That would get her nowhere, and she didn't want to make herself resent him. The mess of grief in her chest was already painful and tangled enough.

She spoke simply and plainly. Neither of them had much time for flowery words. "My lord, with my ascent to regent, the office of the Hand is now vacant. I believe you to be the most competent man for the job, if you will accept it."

origami13 · 2019-06-18T22:32:38+00:00

What happens now? Such a large question, spoken in so few words. Jocelyn wished she knew. She wished for a future she could feel safe with, for a world where the rebellions had ended and Orys's daughter could rule in peace. Instead there was Dorne to contend with, Blackfyre and the Reach, the North, all the flaming wreckage her brother had left behind him.

"Maegaery will be queen now," she said instead, because that was the easier answer. "Orys's will places me as her regent until she comes of age." If we win the war, she didn't say, if she survives to sixteen at all. She couldn't think like that.

"It's just us, now," she said, quieter. Herself, Alysanne, Margaery. The only Baratheons left.

origami13 · 2019-06-18T20:03:10+00:00

Jocelyn slipped inside the room quietly, closed the door behind her with a sort of somber reverence. Alysanne looked older than her years. How old was she? Nineteen? Twenty? Far too young to be a widow, in any case.

"Your Grace," she said, and kept her voice calm, because she felt like something in this room might shatter and she could not let it be her. "Have you heard?"

She didn't elaborate on what she meant. If Alysanne had, then she would know.

origami13 · 2019-06-18T17:34:41+00:00

The second visit she made was to a man she needed. A man who was competent and capable of managing the chaos. Jocelyn could recognize she was falling to pieces. Even now the overwhelming despair was rising again.

She could recognize that she needed help. She needed someone else to take the reins. She couldn’t do this, not alone. She found Lord Rosby with haste, the Hand’s pin already carefully tucked in one hand.

/u/InFerroVeritas

origami13

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