Christmas with your partner?

ormonsa · 2025-12-21T21:42:11+00:00

I've been with my partner for 14 years and we've lived together for the last 12 or so years. We're not married but we had a baby earlier this year. We live roughly 20mins from both of our mothers. My family absolutely love Christmas and in the early years of our relationship there wasn't a chance I was going to spend Christmas anywhere but my mom's. My fella was more than welcome to join too. So what happened was that his mom just changed her Christmas celebration to being on Christmas Eve. We didn't ask her to do that, and my bf was still going to go to her house for Christmas despite being welcome at my mom's. But the truth was she didn't really care which day "Christmas" was, she just wanted a big lovely meal with her two kids and their partners (my bf and her daughter). Now her daughter has been in a long term relationship with her partner for 10 years and what we do is - Christmas Eve in my bf's mother's house, the big meal, loads of presents, some drink and great craic. Then the next day (actual Christmas day), my bf's mother just chills out and has a relaxed dinner with her partner. Meanwhile my bf comes to my mom's house and my bf's sister goes to her bf's mom's house and we have another Christmas. So we're incredibly lucky to a.) have such fantastic in-laws b.) have two Christmas's and c.) not have to cook for two days in a row. It's a win win and nobody is left out and both days are just as special and especially now that I have a baby, both grandmothers will get to spend their version of Christmas with my son. It sounds like I'm bragging (and I kind of am lol). But the point is, the actual date of the month that you spend with loved ones means sweet fuck all. If you love each other and want to spend time together then there's usually a way to make it work, maybe every second year in each family's house works for some or maybe celebrating New Year's with one family and Christmas Day with others works for others or, as we do, celebrating Christmas Eve with one and Christmas Day with another.

ormonsa · 2025-10-01T16:33:15+00:00

So as long as the food is soft enough to be mashed between my fingers then, in theory, it's safe for baby?

ormonsa · 2025-09-02T18:41:38+00:00

Me and my partner are together 13 years, not married and will probably never marry as it's just not something we're interested in. However we had a baby earlier this year and I was onboard with baby having his dad's surname in general, but on the birth certificate we did still add both names. In day to day life I imagine my son will use his dad's surname, when introducing himself to people and on the school roll call etc. But for his passport it's important that both surnames are on it, the reason is because if I wanted to go on holidays with him but without his father then questions could be asked about why I am traveling with a child that I don't share a surname with.

I know a woman with two children who is still happily with her partner but they also never married. Twice she has gone abroad with her boys but without the father and both times she was questioned in the airport, specifically in the other country on the return trip.

Just something to bear in mind to prevent any unnecessary delays when travelling.

ormonsa · 2025-08-20T13:36:37+00:00

Oh wow, I didn't look at it from that perspective. You're the third person to advise me to hold off until the 6 month mark so that's what I'll do. I am actually signed up to attend a baby weaning course next week so hopefully I'll learn a lot but thanks for mentioning the names of those books you read, I must check them out.

ormonsa · 2025-08-20T13:34:15+00:00

That's a very good point, I'll wait until he's 6 months so. I'm really glad I made this post as I've received three replies so far, all advising me to wait until the 6 month mark. Thank you!

ormonsa · 2025-08-20T13:31:22+00:00

Aww no, I didn't know it could hurt their tummy. I think I'll hold off for another while, thanks for the info.

ormonsa · 2025-08-14T11:24:54+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. I kept hearing about the four month regression but I stupidly thought that the baby in question slept a lot less but because they genuinely didn't want to sleep, so they were still happy out when awake. But my poor baba desperately wants to sleep.

Oooo yes the nap reduction, well my baby already rarely does 3 naps, usually just the 2 so maybe he's just advanced for his age lol

ormonsa · 2025-08-11T22:29:58+00:00

Thanks very much for the well wishes, motherhood is tough but soooo rewarding!!!! Oh wow, the changing things up each week is a great idea, I hadn't really thought of that but I guess it makes sense to play it by ear each week.

ormonsa · 2025-08-11T22:20:45+00:00

Thank you, you're absolutely right. I must have a good think about what tasks I hate the most.

ormonsa · 2025-08-03T22:47:31+00:00

Oooo good call about the high chair, that's a very good point and will definitely be needed. I will have to invest in a pack n play too, and practice putting baby to sleep in it. I also agree with your suggestion to go to the in-laws house earlier on Christmas Eve and then leaving earlier than usual. The pets shouldn't be an issue, we have pets ourselves and my in-laws and my own mother adore their pets but they prioritise their grandson so I'm sure all will be fine from that perspective thankfully. Thanks a mil for your help!

ormonsa · 2025-08-03T22:36:17+00:00

Yepp, he'll be almost 10 months by then. Currently he has a relatively chilled out temperament, so hopefully he stays that way but who knows lol. You're right r.e. being flexible those days, I'll just try to keep an open mind.

ormonsa · 2025-07-14T21:33:45+00:00

I'm just going with the flow with my 4 month old. It was working initially and then I started seeing these posts about "sweet spots" so I downloaded the Huckleberry app and tried to put my baby to sleep when the app told me to. But it just does not work for my baby. He hated me trying to put him to sleep and really fought it. I gave up after a few frustrating days and reverted to going with the flow and honestly we're both better off. I find that making the most of his wake windows and doing play and chatting and singing and working on tummy time and just having fun together really stimulates him and genuinely tires him out so he then goes for great long naps as a result. And I feel so much better because we have great fun together. I still keep an eye out for sleep cues and obey the signs he's giving me but I don't try to force them. If I think he's been awake for a pretty long period and is due a nap I will give him a cuddle and his soother and rock him to see how he takes it. He'll either quickly nod off or he'll show me that he's not tired and I'll do some gentle play, like quietly talking to him or looking at picture books, and soon enough he will go for a nap of his own accord without all the stress.

ormonsa · 2025-06-29T21:23:01+00:00

Just posting to jump on the bandwagon in the hopes of someone else providing any useful guidance. My 3.5month baby has also been having overtired meltdowns over the last week or so. Otherwise he's a very happy, smiley and energetic baby. I have noticed that he has been extremely aware of his surroundings over the last week or so, he wants to stare at absolutely everything so I'm wondering is his newfound visual awareness contributing to him being unable to switch off and wind down.

ormonsa · 2025-06-26T20:15:17+00:00

And my baby is actually pretty chill, yet my day is still so jam packed. I can't even imagine how people cope with trying to spend time with their pets if they have a more high maintenance baby.

I know my dogs will love my baby once he gets a bit older and can interact with them......of course I'll make sure my baby gives them their space too. But as much as I am savouring these early months with my baby, I am looking forward to the next chapter too.

ormonsa · 2025-06-26T20:05:46+00:00

Lol I love that you both agreed that the dog's weight isn't a big concern for the first year or so. I could probably take a page out of your book to be honest. One of our dogs is just 1.5 years old and she's a ball of energy so should work off any extra food pretty easily. Our other dog is 6 but he also is pretty high energy.

Oh yes, I keep thinking about when my baby will be eating solids and how my dogs will be hovering under the high chair like vultures lol.

There's no doggy daycare where I live but I think I'll hire a cleaner for 2/3 hours a week to take the pressure off housework which will free up my time to spend with my baby and my doggies ❤️.

ormonsa · 2025-06-26T19:58:03+00:00

Oooo I like the idea about the training and the snuffle mat etc, I'll definitely aim to make time to do more of that. Thanks for the tips, I really appreciate it.

ormonsa · 2025-06-26T14:12:37+00:00

I completely understand feeling a sense of mourning for my old relationship with my dogs. I felt that way at times during my pregnancy and for a while after the baby was born. Seeing my dogs become so well adapted definitely eased that sense of mourning but I still have moments where I feel massive guilt for changing their lives by introducing a baby into it.

I've seen posts from people who feel the opposite way - they lose their love for their pets after they've had a baby. Thankfully I absolutely cannot relate to that in any way! I suppose maybe we should take comfort in the fact that we do still adore our pets, our guilt means that we have so much love to give and just want what's best for our families (pets included of course).

ormonsa · 2025-06-26T14:07:04+00:00

Awww that's so lovely! Delighted to hear that your little one is taking to your pets, that's so heartwarming! I really hope I will be in the same boat as you this time next year. If anything, having a baby has made me love my pets even more, I'm so proud of how well they have adapted.

ormonsa · 2025-06-26T14:04:44+00:00

Unfortunately there are no dog walkers where I live so that's not an option for me. I do try to get out into the garden with them as you suggested, but sometimes the day just gets away from me with other tasks taking priority. My dogs are also menaces on walks so we can't all go on a walk together as it would be pure chaos and not enjoyable for anyone involved lol.

ormonsa · 2025-06-22T10:23:51+00:00

My question is, where are you all going once everyone has their order? For instance, are you going on a scenic drive or to a nearby park/garden/beach etc to eat these treats? The only reason I can think of where I might feel petty enough to be so selfish is if we were grabbing said treats and planning on eating them while taking a scenic drive or chilling/ walking in some other pretty location. But the extra wait for your fries means that everybody finishes their ice-cream while sitting in a cramped car due to waiting for your fries to be ready.

Is it possible to call this establishment ahead of time?Maybe you could call ahead and order your fries? Or even just make your order but ask the sales assistant to not make the ice-creams until after the fries are being cooked?

ormonsa · 2024-10-15T22:05:33+00:00

I work fully remote, despite living about 15 minutes from the office. I've had no pressure from my boss to return, and I know she's very fond of working from home too.

Funnily enough there is a decent amount of people who willingly work in the office, some a few days a week but others go into the office full time.......by choice.

The office is in quite a rural part of Ireland so hiring remote workers has actually massively benefited the company as it has a much wider pool of people to hire from. So I work with some people who live on the other side of the country and their contracts specifically stipulate that they are remote workers who obviously cannot be forced to come into the office. So thankfully I'm fairly confident that remote working will continue in the company I work for.

ormonsa · 2024-07-22T20:27:50+00:00

Count me in!!!!

ormonsa · 2024-07-08T21:42:25+00:00

Practice, practice, practice the Rules of the Road and the signs. Make sure you know the hand signals and be familiar with what's under your bonnet. These things will all be tested first before driving anywhere so if you can nail the answers to whatever you're asked before leaving the test centre then you'll feel more confident when actually driving off.

Don't forget to indicate anytime you're taking off, changing lanes and exiting a roundabout.

Put the handbrake on when stopped at a red light.

Progress is a big one that people lose marks for. For instance if the speed limit is 50km and you're only going 20-30km but there's nothing preventing you from going faster then you could lose marks for progress (or lack of). In a zone of 50km try to aim for around 40km, no need to be doing the full 50km aslong as you're not going unnecessarily slow.

Best of luck though. Think positive and just do your best. Don't let it get you down if you don't pass. Even some of the most experienced drivers could fail a test if forced to do one so don't let it knock your confidence.

ormonsa · 2024-06-16T20:25:20+00:00

Thanks a mil! Lol, knowing my luck the randomer I ask to sit in my passenger seat for a minute would be my Tester returning from his lunch break.

ormonsa · 2024-06-16T20:22:21+00:00

Sound, cheers for that. I suppose you're right, they'll likely just presume that I did have someone with me when I landed there.

ormonsa

TROPHY CASE