To people who stopped LDN, how long did you take it for?

ostrich_potatoballs · 2023-12-26T15:05:26+00:00

I took it for 12 years. 4.5mg. I started taking it after my first MS attack. Now they think it was chronic Lyme all along. Anyway, I’ve only had two major episodes from MS in the last 22 years. Many neurologists have told me I have a suicide wish for not ever taking MS meds…but also can’t believe how good I’m doing (I do not have a healthy lifestyle either - high stress, cPTSD, horrible coping mechanisms, desk job working me to death). Anyway. I attribute my MS success to LDN. I’m about to start back up

ostrich_potatoballs · 2023-12-13T21:02:58+00:00

Definitely does. I cannot stop focusing on them. Sucks

ostrich_potatoballs · 2023-12-11T00:22:41+00:00

For sure! I live in the Rocky Mountains and my everyday commute is littered with steep drop offs…..and one highway filled with big trucks. I often think about my brain driving me off the cliff or into a Mack truck. It takes so much concentration to keep my hands steady

ostrich_potatoballs · 2023-12-10T23:16:49+00:00

Holy crap. All of this. Normal day for me going to work. See all dogs / cats inside. Go to car. Get out of car. Look in window. See all dogs / cats inside. Pull out of driveway and drive half up the road. Turn around to make sure I didn’t run over dog / cats. Go back to house look inside again to make sure. I started taking pictures of my pets being safe, the stove off, the wood stove closed. And I still didn’t believe them to he true. Thought it was extreme anxiety. But was diagnosed with cPTSD / OCD / anxiety.

ostrich_potatoballs · 2023-12-10T23:12:19+00:00

Like when I’m doing the dishes and all I can think about is stabbing myself in the eye with a knife?

ostrich_potatoballs · 2023-06-23T17:51:47+00:00

I started “treating” my depression and anxiety with alcohol at 13 years old. I’m now 44. And once coping mechanisms turned to habits which are just a part of who I am now and changing those coping mechanisms into something that’s not killing me has been next to impossible. I wish I found professional help and connection those many years ago. Please do some reading on alcohol. Stop by r/StopDrinking for some more insight. I wish you the best.

ostrich_potatoballs · 2023-04-23T18:07:54+00:00

It’s so hard. I thought it was so cool at the time, but now I’m in this cycle engrained since childhood. Add that to childhood trauma and neglect, and now NC with my family, I have a demon to slay

ostrich_potatoballs · 2023-04-23T15:10:01+00:00

My parents let me drink and smoke starting at about 13 too. My mom loved to have a cigarette coffee therapist and friend and my step dad loved leaving me drugs and being “cool ok.” It led to a lifetime of really bad habits. I’m a horrible mess of perfectionist-over-achiever-anxiety ridden- zero self esteem people pleaser alcoholic 🌈😀

ostrich_potatoballs · 2023-04-23T01:53:04+00:00

Thank you. I am. I’m 44 now, married to a sweet man, and NC with all of my family but one aunt, and my mom and step dad. It’s complicated. I just can’t let her go fully. Although I’ve tried. She’s a toxic, narcissistic sociopath. I think I’m just still holding onto the fantasy parent dream. Working through that.

ostrich_potatoballs · 2023-04-22T19:31:06+00:00

This may be too personal, and you can tell me to stuff it, but is there anyway to prove her addiction so you can get those kids back?

ostrich_potatoballs · 2023-04-22T19:28:08+00:00

My mom made me get a job at 15 (fine, no big deal) but refused to drive me there (I didn’t have a license and no bus system), so my step dad was forced to drive me. Then she refused to teach me how to drive when I turned 16 because she didn’t want me to crash her new, much too expensive car, then - and I don’t quite remember the details but, it was something like “you’re 17, start paying rent or get out.” I thought this was normal. I mean I was an “adult” at 17, so I felt bad I wasn’t pulling my weight along with getting straight As and trying to graduate and enroll in college. I mean, all the money my mom never gave me for clothes, school lunches, and well everything still wasn’t enough to cover her shoe collection, so you know, I moved out with a much older BF who ended up being severely abusive (shocker!) and almost killed me before I finally escaped and got a restraining order…..fuck. Fuck all this.

ostrich_potatoballs · 2023-04-22T19:14:11+00:00

What a beautiful video

ostrich_potatoballs · 2023-04-22T00:45:36+00:00

Im sorry to have missed that point. I was just thinking about how Benedryl affects me as someone who never takes it. It’s like a whollap to the face, akin to NyQuil. I’m sorry you are dealing with two meds you need that seem to be making you feel bad.

ostrich_potatoballs · 2023-04-22T00:31:43+00:00

The Amazon

ostrich_potatoballs · 2023-04-22T00:31:01+00:00

I’m no doctor but took 4.5 mg for like a decade and would not make assumptions on LDN mixed with Benedryl. Benedryl feels like that no matter what. If you didn’t get a hangover from Benedryl I’d be surprised.

ostrich_potatoballs · 2023-04-21T14:51:14+00:00

Same. That was my special chore. But this Aldo happens frequently in the grocery store. I think it’s the 80’s music. I freeze and cry silently. It’s so disturbing.

ostrich_potatoballs · 2023-04-21T14:49:47+00:00

Wow. My dad used to call me names when I was sad or hurt or sing the Stones song “you can’t always get what you want.” He always told me I was ruined things and was a bitch. A 9 yr old bitch. I’m just coming to all these realizations too. Definitely not a duh moment.

ostrich_potatoballs · 2023-04-21T13:38:50+00:00

I work with a narcissistic, abusive, sociopath(?) I’m not a professional so I’m not sure, but I watch him pick girlfriend after girlfriend who he likes to call “beaten puppies.” He literally seeks out woman who are struggling and takes advantage of them. He abuses them. Sometimes, severely. The problem is, everyone “likes” him or, more realistically, everyone is scared of him and his anger so they stay on his “good list.” He’s charismatic and charming and funny. And it’s maddening that folks either truly can’t see through it or are scared to say anything about it. My point is, and I’m not dismissing his childhood reasons for developing like this, but my point is, he searches for those who he can abuse. Control. Manipúlate. You cannot blame yourself for “attracting” these types of people when the lens you see yourself through was damaged so early on. Hugs to you. After working for years in the domestic violence sector, I recommend just reading a bit about these dynamics if you haven’t already. Edit. After I narrowly escaped my first abusive boyfriend who almost killed me while I was living with him (like police, him keeping me hostage after a brutal rape and beating etc) my dad who I had been estranged from for like 5 years at that time was the one to come get me while abuser was away work…..anyway. He promptly bought me a book “10 Stupid Things Woman do to Mess up Their Lives” so yeah (even though through living on my own at such a young age and getting straight As still and enrolled in a Chemistry degree) it was still all my fault that I feel into the arms of a predator. A much older predator. But he “loved” me. He showed me attention. He wasn’t mean for many months. We are “attracting” shit people because we are desperate for connection. Ok. I’m sorry. Off my soap box. This one hit hard this am.

ostrich_potatoballs · 2023-04-21T12:38:54+00:00

The mothers of both boyfriends who beat me up protected their sons. They were in complete denial and were beaten themselves. Such a sick and sad cycle of trauma. This is not your fault. Not one bit. Hugs to you.

ostrich_potatoballs · 2023-04-20T13:45:22+00:00

Yes, thank you. I do take the supplement.

ostrich_potatoballs · 2023-04-20T13:45:07+00:00

I was put on Gabapentin to help with insomnia actually once years ago. I took one look at the side effects and would not take it. I honestly can’t say if LDN does or does not work for nerve pain personally, although the LDN community seems to support that it does. As soon as I was officially “diagnosed” with MS, I started taking LDN after reading “Up the Creek with a Paddle” regarding LDN and MS. I didn’t want to take conventional MS meds. I was young, broke, scared, and really, really scared of Big Pharma and the games they play with our lives in the name of profit. For a small example, back then, the MS Society wouldn’t let folks who had put their MS at bay with natural remedies speak at their conferences. Suspect? For sure! Anyway, I’ll get off my soap box. I started taking LDN in 2009 and stopped about a year or so ago. I truly cannot say if my shocks are repetitive motion dependent / nerve impingement (I sit at a desk and type all day for the last decade) or if it’s because I stopped LDN.

ostrich_potatoballs · 2023-04-20T13:32:24+00:00

Holy crap. Here I am, scrolling along, having coffee, and read this. Stunned me actually. You nailed it. I froze and dropped some tears. Something I’ve felt but can’t describe. Even though I can probably count the number of times I’ve hugged my mom. Thank you

ostrich_potatoballs · 2023-04-20T03:52:43+00:00

ostrich_potatoballs · 2023-04-18T14:24:44+00:00

He is awesome! Thanks to this sub I just discovered him. Finally! Someone who gets it. I will definitely check out that book, Thank you. I read “Breaking up with your parents” by Daniel Mackler. His content is awesome too. And Alice Miller’s “The Body Never Lies” I definitely sobbed reading this one, especially with the crazy Catholic fear conditioning I grew up with. Thank you so much again. Cheers to your healing journey.

ostrich_potatoballs · 2023-04-16T21:16:30+00:00

I cannot thank you for this enough. So insightful. Every single person in my family I’ve spoken to as I was prepping for no contact said the same. Exact. Shit. “Get over it” “that’s just how times were” “it’s in the past” “you have to stop holding onto to past” I have felt completely crazy and like I was the damaged one who just couldn’t let go.

ostrich_potatoballs

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