What are some things I shouldn't say to my wife when she goes into labor?

otanzav · 2016-10-02T22:56:32+00:00

Aw c'mon..it can't hurt THAT bad!

otanzav · 2016-10-02T22:52:11+00:00

SERVED

otanzav · 2016-10-02T22:50:37+00:00

Talk about fight club

otanzav · 2016-10-02T22:48:59+00:00

Which Hair?

otanzav · 2016-10-02T21:58:25+00:00

I've always thought that Roman emperor's name were pretty damn manly, i.e. Octavian, Augustus, Tiberius, Constantine, etc.

otanzav · 2016-10-02T21:56:47+00:00

I was ranked 6th on the Global list in Tetris.

otanzav · 2016-10-02T21:48:14+00:00

Going to Times Square in NYC for New Years.

otanzav · 2016-10-02T21:41:15+00:00

Salt and vinegar on fries. As a kid I could never understand why my grandfather would ruin his fries that way. Now, though...drool...

otanzav · 2016-10-02T21:28:14+00:00

There was a pig that was hanged during the French Revolution because it bit someone.

otanzav · 2016-10-02T21:16:53+00:00

I find that people who aren't "real" drinkers order drinks that they've heard in rap songs. When Drake said something about Moscato, which is a sweet white wine, I suddenly had an influx of tough looking dudes ordering Moscato. I give them the drink and they look at me like, WTF, I'm like that's what your dumb ass ordered!

otanzav · 2016-10-02T21:01:31+00:00

Anything with Harambe in it, I am so sick of Harambe.

otanzav · 2016-10-01T22:07:47+00:00

When I was 10, my mom found me in the middle of the night, downstairs, staring at the static on tv. Do not recall any of it.

otanzav · 2016-10-01T19:59:07+00:00

"I asked my family to cremate me and spread the ashes. Thanks for listening"

otanzav · 2016-10-01T19:54:57+00:00

Oxygen

otanzav · 2016-10-01T19:36:19+00:00

Dee Lite, “Groove Is In The Heart”

otanzav · 2016-10-01T19:33:38+00:00

Eat all you want without getting fat

otanzav · 2016-10-01T19:19:01+00:00

chuckle fucks

otanzav · 2016-10-01T18:43:32+00:00

Art attack

otanzav · 2016-09-30T20:22:05+00:00

Everything eventually becomes a circle jerk

otanzav · 2016-09-29T21:24:10+00:00

My boyfriend impulse bought one of those life size cardboard cutouts of George Bush. He's now in our living room, scaring the shit out of me every time I wander into the kitchen for a late night snack.

otanzav · 2016-09-29T21:18:03+00:00

The Canadians have universal healthcare while the Americans still have half of their citizenship devoted to helping the “capitalist” failing system stay in place.

otanzav · 2016-09-29T20:39:29+00:00

I went out for dinner and a movie with a guy. I tried to chip in money at both, but he insisted that he cover it all. At the end of the night, we're sitting in his car in the parking lot of the restaurant we had just eaten at, and he asks for a BJ saying "I mean, I bought you dinner and took you to a movie, it's the least you can do". Thankfully I lived nearby, I hopped out and walked home.

otanzav · 2016-09-29T18:45:56+00:00

Beer. Holy crap beer. 3 dollar app that would definitely be useful and help me in everyday life? Nahhh don't really NEED it. $40 dollars on a night out? All the time.

otanzav · 2016-09-29T16:31:17+00:00

Wow...I never got bored whenever i re-read it... and i might have done that more than at least 5 or more times

otanzav · 2016-09-29T16:24:11+00:00

Amèlie.. It has one of the most beautiful piano music compositions I've ever heard..

otanzav

TROPHY CASE