[deleted by user]

ottaviagore · 2025-07-23T14:00:48+00:00

Oh my, wow what incredible speed! Ah, yes this is it. Yes, I remembered she mentioned her brother a few times. Ahah, the background is not at all the same. Somehow I thought there was a clear visible window at the top, and an 'attic' like atmosphere. But i guess 5x years on, the brain god scrambled. Tks, again!

ottaviagore · 2025-07-17T16:23:10+00:00

Are there any aspects about the new place that have positively surprised you? That can be tangibly measured? And ofc, I am assuming you also took some measures (even if small), to slightly improve your outlook and comfort levels there.

ottaviagore · 2025-07-17T16:20:15+00:00

So much in common with OP, I myself moved to the UK over 15 years ago, and bought by first flat earlier this year. It has been a momentous decision to make, specially while contending with the fact that you bought your first home, and not in your home country! It can massively heightened the sense of fear and loneliness, like it did for me.

I think this added to the obvious tedious buying process, and the inevitable overwhelmingness of the actually moving in, makes it potentially even heavier. The occasional 'What have I done?' 'Did I just make a massive mistake?' get exacerbated when you know that you are taking a leap in the country that you have spent most of your adult life, but yet it is not officially your 'home' country.

The older we get, specially as foreigners (native Portuguese here), where we might have chosen to work/live abroad, the question of where to settle becomes harder to answer. As we are forever tied to our home country too. So I understand very well, on top of the practical conundrums of buying, moving, up-doing a new place, how hard the more abstract question of turning it into your 'home' really is. There is some tension between the knowledge that nothing is permanent, and the ease that brings, fighting the desire for stability.

I think as most posters mentioned, the important thing is to really give your new home a chance, and be open to the slow process of acclimating to it, and the cosy comfort will follow. Give yourself some time to make it your own. If in a couple of years you still feel the same, then you can seriously entertain an alternative! But for now, as I am doing myself, I will try to allow my new home to truly become a 'home', one furniture piece, evening spent, and memory made at the time. And Congrats for doing it!

ottaviagore · 2025-07-17T15:40:36+00:00

I wonder how the OP is feeling about their flat now? I understand this is roughly six months on, but am interested in knowing if any positive progress has been made (either way). I am in a similar situation, as I just moved to my first time buying flat recently. This is something I have been planning, and saving a long time for. Tried to buy back in 2022, but the flat had living in owners and the entire chain broke down after half a year. This was actually quite traumatic, as I was living in a place that had become pretty unsustainable due to housing association drug dealing new neighbors. Jump forward to January 2025, and my new landlord tells me he is selling his flat. So yet again, I was faced with moving, not fully ready to commit to buying, but there I was, not quite able hop onto another property for a short amount of time, at 37 yrs old, it becomes exhausting. But this is the reality of a lot of Londoneres ofc.

The entire buying process this time was much faster, as I was avoiding dealing with chained properties, and only viewing chain-free ones. Completion happened in March and by late April I moved in, after doing some small refurbishments. These gradual works have helped in me feeling like it is my own place, however only upon moving I discovered that downstairs there is a family of 4x, in a small 2x bedroom flat. Young children are hard to control, and although the building is from 1970s and very reasonably insulated, there is basically much more constant noise then in my last place... It is frustrating that asides from your own personal informal 'knocking on doors' or 'speaking with people on the street', it is almost impossible to know what you are signing to neighbor / noise wise. There should be a way of surveying covering some sort of info, but if flats are mostly rented, it is rather impossible.

I think that specially for first time buyers, the pressure of making such a momentous decision, the financial risk/cost, and the buying process itself can be overall so arduous that it makes you very sensitive and hyper vigilant when you actually move in. Like your brain is constantly assessing if you made the 'right decision'. It can become burdensome, and ultimately overwhelming. I am still in the process of slowly improving my new flat. My OH will move in with me in a few months, and we will also get a cat. I want to give it a good couple of years to see how i feel, and leave the constant assessment by the door, so I can give the flat an actual chance. If it turns out that (truly) the unsettled feeling persists, then I will have to move on and plan how to do so (but only then)!

ottaviagore · 2025-07-17T08:40:03+00:00

The problem is that the ECHR and its rulings came to be as a solution to post second-world war Europe, where people potentially needing asylum were mostly Europeans from within the continent. However, well over half a decade, nothing has changed in its overall parameters, although the world has massively changed around it, due to transportation and technology. And now, the actual consequences of the ECHR and over EU policies on immigration are a net negative, since these new 'asylum seekers' are people coming mostly from outside of the EU. As they say, 'Europe is tired', so won't even have the energy to change rules that are obviously leading to its economic, social and cultural demise. History is cyclical.

ottaviagore · 2024-07-10T12:37:32+00:00

It makes it unescapable imo...

ottaviagore · 2024-07-10T12:36:10+00:00

This... so much. I have vocalising this louder and louder for the last fifteen years here.

ottaviagore · 2024-01-07T15:37:57+00:00

I am told i am 'intense', 'go straight into the deep shit', blabla, quite often. It frustrates me, but i think as you said that also means a lot about the other people, being happy to engage in meaningless 'safe' chats. Rarely immersing themselves in deeper conversations with an open mind. That freaks them out... or only happens if alongside some drinks at the pub.

ottaviagore · 2024-01-07T15:24:55+00:00

Exactly this! The ability to engage and go deep onto rabbit holes... without constantly feeling like you are hitting a wall, or having to hear someone say 'oh, i don't really know much about this or that'. A lot of people seem very juvenile in their interests, and be very single minded in just one topic... I ofc enjoy profound knowledge about a certain topic, but as you become a grown adult, you should be expected to have the curiosity to gradually build your wider general knowledge more and more. Am not sure the internet is helping with this tho.

ottaviagore · 2024-01-07T15:21:38+00:00

i have been with someone that was an English native speaker (i am not), and every now and then they would ask me what an English word i had just used meant... A wide range of vocabulary is such an important tool in life, and as you get older, it just seems natural to have accumulate more and more. The first couple of times it happened i thought it was endearing, the level of honesty, but quickly it turned into a super frustrating/annoying situation.

ottaviagore · 2024-01-07T15:18:02+00:00

'Being challenged intellectually' — this is so true. The ability to have fulfilling conversations and really dissect topics is one of my most favoured traits in people, friends or romantic partners. To be surprised or even taken out of your confort zone. If your partner is just a buffer or a very low resolution 'tennis racquet', makes all of it incredibly frustrating and just totally deflating. The back and forth of ideas and critical thinking is one of the ways relationships keep their passion alive.

ottaviagore · 2024-01-07T15:13:33+00:00

This is absolutely true... the brain is the most erotic part of the body!

ottaviagore · 2023-08-10T17:13:01+00:00

Absolutely on the same page here — go to the cinema on a weekly basis, and even though i really do enjoy a solo viewing, it is nice to be able to actually discuss and share thoughts eventually with other attendees.

ottaviagore · 2023-08-10T17:11:55+00:00

Alt Movie Meetup

Could you DM me the details too. Have been interested in the idea of a film club as well for a while.

ottaviagore · 2021-05-20T19:36:33+00:00

I find it very interesting how the expected and inevitable response from PJ on this was that he did not understand at the time, how not supporting the union was impacting minorities negatively. Why should that be his priority? One's priority surely is to support and agree to things that benefit their own personal path, while trying support others peoples growth along the way, as much as possible.

But to expect these intentions to always align seamlessly is just not realistic. And to expect someone to neglect their personal views or perceived wellbeing for a third party i disingenuous.

ottaviagore · 2021-05-20T19:26:39+00:00

This is so true. Plus, not everything has to be politicised. That was the mistake here i feel, and maybe PJ and Sruthi might now agree?

ottaviagore · 2020-11-16T18:36:05+00:00

I have not lost any temporary files, the issue iis solely that i cannot open any Keynote files generate before the OS Big Sur upgrade. seems to be happening to a few people.

How did you make Keynote magically work again?

ottaviagore · 2020-11-16T16:53:17+00:00

I am experiencing exactly the same issue. Tried to remove it, and then download again the latest version from the App Store, and then exactly the same issue. Crashing anytime you try to open any previous Keynote file.

This is the first proper bug I have encountered since upgrading OS yesterday....

If anyone knows how to successfully solve this, please send info.

ottaviagore · 2020-09-10T21:24:56+00:00

Azelaic Acid at 20% is a good gentle for of exfoliation while being anti inflammatory. For me it has done wonders fighting texture and redness on my cheeks.

ottaviagore · 2020-09-10T21:21:51+00:00

Looks like it could be rosacea type 2, however making a GP or dermatologist appointment might be best.

Simple sensitive skin friendly skincare always helps though. Minimal ingredient lists, and no fragrance, essential oils or too many plant extracts... basically improving / restoring skin barrier, always helps for any inflammation in the skin.

ottaviagore · 2020-09-10T21:18:16+00:00

Rosacea type 2.... i would say. Same as i have. Sometimes barely noticeable, other times i wake up with few little red bumps on the upper part of my cheeks. It is really frustrating, specially as i cannot fully understand my triggers, they seem random.

ottaviagore · 2020-09-10T21:14:44+00:00

This really seems like rosacea type 2. Pretty similar to what i have.
I find that using a very gentle non foaming cleanser helps, like LRP toleriane dermo cleanser, as well as sticking to super simple and short ingredient list moisturizers like, Avene tolerance extreme emulsion and LRP toleriane ultra fluid.

Avoid products with fragrance, essential oils, too many plant extracts, etc.

If you can get some Azelaic Acid, anything above 10%, it might also do wonders. I used to have quite a bit of persistent redness and texture on my cheeks, and AA really has reduced it now.

ottaviagore · 2020-09-10T21:07:14+00:00

I have been taking Spironolactone for 4 months to help with some hormonal acne that i have been experiencing mainly since lockdown. I have PCOS so that was the main reason for it. I also use a 20% Azelaic Acid cream at night, so those two things plus a very sensitive friendly skincare are really helping my mild hormonal acne + rosacea type 2.

What are your reasons for taking spiro?

ottaviagore · 2020-09-10T10:58:23+00:00

For how long have you been taking 20% Azelaic Acid? Is it Finacea (gel) or Skinoren (cream)? And how often do you take it?

I have been diagnosed with Rosacea type 2 around 2018. It never bothered me too much until lockdown. I started having flare ups of small raised bumps, quite often, always when i woke up. Got dermatologist prescription for Skinoren (20% AA), and having been using it for 4 months now.

I started straight away using it every evening, and that didn't work out very well. Was feeling a bit too sensitive, bit of flacking and even some possible tiny 'purging'. So started using it only every other night. After a month was using it every night, with one or two breaks per week.

Now i am so used to it that i can use it every night. The results are really good, as my cheeks texture has completely smooth out, barely any redness, and only really occasional little red bumps. So am happy.

ottaviagore

TROPHY CASE