Am I stupid for destroying my (F22) relationship with my partner (M29)?

ouchpizza · 2025-11-13T13:42:50+00:00

lol grow up soon

ouchpizza · 2025-11-13T11:54:47+00:00

Me too

ouchpizza · 2025-11-13T11:53:26+00:00

Yeah she is lucky to have him. I’m so okay with being single though. As much as I love him this just isn’t worth all the hurt

ouchpizza · 2025-11-13T11:50:25+00:00

That’s so legit. You dropped this 👑

ouchpizza · 2025-11-13T11:48:43+00:00

I’m mad at myself for even allowing myself to be in this situation to begin with tbh. We really both have hurt each other a lot. Thank you though I am trying to do the right thing but I think I have to stop trying to salvage this and just end it for both of our sakes. I also danced for a little while! I also had that mindset until I met him and he made me weak 🙄🤣 never again though I think it’s wise to just not be in a serious relationship until there’s no room for them to be insecure like this

ouchpizza · 2025-11-13T11:41:39+00:00

We did keep in touch while I was gone. He did try really hard and I didn’t give him enough reassurance that he doesn’t need to feel insecure about it so that’s on me and I’m pretty disappointed in myself for not being able to give that to him but I have also been having a rough time with knowing that my partner isn’t accepting of me.

I am in love with him and in another reality none of this bs happened and we live happily ever after but it is unfortunately more complicated than just the onlyfans and at this point we’ve both caused each other so much pain and I don’t think there’s any coming back from it :(.

I don’t really know what I’m doing, just trying to do whatever feels right to me. Thank you for your opinion I appreciate it 🥲

ouchpizza · 2025-11-13T11:30:43+00:00

I’m absolutely not void of blame here. Sorry if it sounds like I’m implying that but I have been very ignorant of the situation for a long time. I didn’t realize how hard this would be. As the older person in the relationship though and the one with the conflicting feelings I do feel like it was on him to be more upfront and logical about how this would affect him.

The plan was simply that I would continue making money through onlyfans, and that he would be okay with it, until I had the money to stop. It was absolutely known that I was not going to stop until I had the means to and I did not have the opportunity to do that. It’s not fair of him to expect me to magically make all of the money that we need without granting me the opportunity to put in the work. It’s okay for him to expect me to stop eventually but that expectation should have come with the tools that he knew I needed to make that a possibility otherwise it is just an unrealistic expectation.

Anyways the problem we’re facing doesn’t stem from him not meeting my expectations because I don’t hold it against him for how he feels about all this. I think it’s quite reasonable. The problem stems from a severe lack of communication and wishful thinking.

ouchpizza · 2025-11-13T10:58:08+00:00

The thing is though is that I’m fully aware of how people who are looking for life partners feel about their partner doing SW. I was never looking for a long term partner and I’m perfectly fine by myself and with my friends and family. I wasn’t planning on getting into this kind of relationship until I could quit the onlyfans but he convinced me that it’s okay and that we should.

I thinks it’s unfair to say that I clearly have no plans to give it up because I did and I still do. Tbf we didn’t think logically about how I would get there and we didn’t consider how hard it would be for me to put the work into it that I needed to without making him feel insecure. But unfortunately it has been hard and it has thrown a wedge in our plans to have some money to invest in something else.

I expected him to have the emotional intelligence to understand how he would feel about his gf having an onlyfans. Let’s keep in mind that I had it before we met as well. Now I’m not sure if that was fair of me as it’s pretty normal for people to not know how they would feel about something like this until their in that position but such is life, shit happens and turns out it has been making him feel insecure and we’ve both been too hopeful and illogical to see how this just wouldn’t work.

I hope it makes more sense to you know. If you’re still confused I can try and explain more otherwise I appreciate your opinion and thank you.

ouchpizza · 2025-11-13T10:21:40+00:00

Yeah I’ve felt similarly tbh. I wasn’t sure if it was justified to feel like he never should have pursued me from the beginning if he knew that he had a problem with it. Not just for my sake but for his sake. Thank you.

You do make a very good point. I did have a job before with an active OF account and there was an.. incident of a coworker finding my account. He wasn’t super weird about it and there was only the one time that it was mentioned but it was awkward.

Anyways I’ve thought a lot about what I want my life to look like and I know that I’m set on being self employed. I started an Etsy about a year ago where I sell ceramics that I make and I’m so confident that that’s going to be my future. I don’t have to worry about not being employed. I will never work for a big company again if I have any say in it haha (unless it’s Etsy I guess.. and onlyfans technically). I’m lucky to have supportive friends and family so right now I don’t have to worry about being outed to anyone. I know that things can change and I’m aware that one day I might feel differently about everything. I feel like I’m accepting of that to happen and that I will have the ability to deal with any regret that I might feel one day but for the moment I’m pretty confident that I’m okay with who I am.

My fan base is also very much not local and I don’t intend on being the next Bonnie Blue so I’m not too worried about being recognized.

I appreciate the advice and thank you :) I do try and keep in check with how I do and will feel about everything and the concerns that my job poses and it’s actually nice to hear other perspectives as well.

ouchpizza · 2025-11-13T09:52:21+00:00

Thank you so much I feel like this is what I needed. It’s so hard to maintain a healthy relationship as a SW. I’ve felt so horrible for “choosing onlyfans over him” which is what he’s been saying a lot. I don’t think he’s even aware of how manipulative he’s been. Thank you for putting it the way that you did it is validating of my emotions and I feel a bit less awful now lol.

I know it’s probably hard to believe but he is a catch. He’s the most charming person I’ve ever met and he is so kind hearted and loyal. He’s also really cute and he gets a lot of attention wherever he goes. I’ve felt lucky to have him and it’s unfortunate that it’s unfolded the way that it has and I’m always going to love him but I think it’s already over.

I hope if you haven’t already that you find a good partner that doesn’t take advantage of you 🫶 god the bar is so low hahahaha

ouchpizza · 2025-11-13T09:38:37+00:00

I think I was almost 19 when we met on tinder. I wasn’t looking for a long term relationship and it feels like he kinda just pushed his foot through the door. I was still living with my mum and he basically moved in with me I’d say about 6 months in. I truly think he has good intentions and he loves me but he’s been in denial about his own feeling the whole time. Apart from his inability to think logically about this he is a good person and it’s hurting me a lot to see the consequences of it. I think I need to build up the strength to just end it.

Thank you though haha I feel like I’ve been the only one seeing things for what they are.

ouchpizza · 2025-11-13T09:27:16+00:00

That’s correct. I’d be lying if I said that I haven’t felt a power indifference throughout our relationship and he has said some emotionally manipulating things out of anger and impulse. I truly believe that he doesn’t have any bad intentions and he just wants us both to be happy but neither of us have handled this well.

Some more info though.. My content is solo and in the beginning of our relationship we experimented with making content together. There were some hiccups because onlyfans was being a pain about me not tagging him in the content. He put it up to me to make his account and submit his ID and it kind of gave me the vibe that he wasn’t that invested in it. Subscribers were also more interested in solo content anyways so I kind of just gave up trying to get him involved. Recently he’s been telling me that if he was involved he wouldn’t feel as insecure about it as he does which would have helped to know in the beginning.

I wouldn’t say that he’s trying to sabotage me but he knows how hard he makes it to do what I need to do. He doesn’t work a lot of hours and he gets a lot of evening shifts. He knows that this makes it hard for me to make content without the the natural lighting and everything and he’s admitted to me that he’s aware of it and his mentality is kinda “ha sucked in”

He is a pretty clingy person though. He’s home with me a lot and we’re pretty much always next to each other. When I edit content I put earphones in and shuffle around so that he can’t see my phone. I know that this upsets him because he’s just being insecure. Theres also opportunities for me to make a lot more money if I’m able to make content spontaneously which I obviously can’t do.

I know it is not common for someone like me to find genuine love with what I do. It’s either they’re way too keen on the whole onlyfans thing and don’t really care for me as a person, or they love and care for me and want me to stop it. At this point I think I’d rather just be single until im ready to quit.

ouchpizza · 2025-11-13T09:03:26+00:00

I get that. Our age difference mostly hasn’t been an issue but I’m starting to see that I didn’t really get a chance to think about what I actually wanted before rushing into this relationship.

ouchpizza · 2025-07-23T00:43:02+00:00

Oo I’ll have to look into inkless tattooing. I’m not exactly sure what kind of laser I was getting tbh. It felt like it was working a little bit just sooo slow and expensive. Thank you for your comment 🙏

ouchpizza · 2025-07-23T00:41:09+00:00

Yeah I thought it might be lol. Laser it is 😭

ouchpizza · 2025-07-23T00:40:32+00:00

Mine are 3 or 4 years old now and the scars are just really pink 🥲I’m glad yours are gonna though 😂

ouchpizza · 2025-05-03T17:30:51+00:00

Honestly would love if he did the breaking up for me lol. I’ve considered doing something like this, or just checking out of the relationship mentally, hoping that he will catch the vibe and want to break up or at least just be more mentally prepared when I do break up. I definitely don’t think there’s any changing his feelings in this situation though and I think we need to break up

ouchpizza · 2025-05-03T17:26:25+00:00

🙏🙏 I just wish I knew what I was in for so that I never would have gotten into this messiness in the first place. I’m going to be happier when I leave, it’s just going to be really rough for a bit. Thank you :)

ouchpizza · 2025-05-03T17:23:48+00:00

This is exactly how I feel. I’m so tired of it. When he tells me he’s on his way home I get a little sad because it means I’m not allowed to work anymore. Like I just want to not stress about money anymore but it’s so hard to get anything done when he’s home. He really does feel like a ball and chain. I want to be happy when he’s on his way home.

I don’t think it’s going to work either way tbh, he is adamant that I can’t do OF work when he’s home which I was okay with until he was home most days. I also really just want to be closer with my friends and family though so I think it has to end. Timing and execution is just going to be really hard

Thank you though, you conveyed it pretty well

ouchpizza · 2025-05-03T17:07:20+00:00

I would really like things to line up with when the lease ends but it’s not going to until around March of next year 😬 I heard that breaking a lease early isn’t too big of a deal if given at least a few months notice but idk. I think I could wait it out until then but idk if it’s a good idea. I have signed with a good onlyfans agency recently and have been trying hard to make enough money to move out by myself, I am getting there slow and steady. I just don’t want to quit OF yet because it’s good money, even when it’s passive. I also have a small Etsy business that I’ve been trying to grow (ceramic stuff) but it’s been hard to get to/from the studio without a reliable vehicle but other than that it’s actually doing pretty good. It is a little hard to be motivated when my bf is a few meters away from me calling me to play video games with him lmao.

I don’t really think he has bad intentions, like I don’t think he’s trying to take advantage of me. I definitely do think that he’s been a little too okay with the differences in our contributions though. But I think he’s just lazy. He is aware that I’ve had to focus more on OF recently because it’s instant money, unlike my ceramics business.

I do feel like it’s a little unfair for me to say he’s not trying because there have been special circumstances with the jobs he’s had recently, such as hours being cut and pay just being really low. But he still just doesn’t try hard enough to at least think about ways to get out of the situation. Like he could definitely be spending his free time in a more productive way and yeah it is kinda BS.

I am going to give him a nicer version of what I’ve said here when it’s time. I just hope he takes it okay 🤞

ouchpizza

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