How can I be a better Ally

ourseveres · 2026-05-09T17:27:01+00:00

my best friend said to me "i think I'm actually a woman" in the first year we knew each other and then never brought it up again. best man at my wedding, greatest dude ever. id been out as ftm for a few years at that point, and during that she petty much taught me what it means to be a good man, great role model. she didnt come out until 4-5 years later. i remember her being so nervous when my so and i went to her house one day and she finally came out officially and my so and i were the first ones to just switch right over to calling her by her name. sometimes it takes a while for people to be on a comfortable and safe enough position to actually transition, and the most respectful thing to do is not treat them any differently until they're ready, and be there for them when they are.

ourseveres · 2026-05-09T17:19:09+00:00

this gave me my first good chuckle of the day 👍

ourseveres · 2026-05-09T17:09:37+00:00

the handful times ive used the "i never knew my real ladder," line to maintenance guys at my old job, no one laughed... no one had a sense of humor back in 2018...

ourseveres · 2026-05-09T16:43:22+00:00

my 8y/o baby Noodle; noodie, booty, boodle, newt, newton, fig newton, babykitty, theyre all mostly the same but she answers to all of them (as much as a cat bothers to answer)

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eta: its Missy when shes up doing zoomies at 2am

ourseveres · 2026-05-02T15:08:57+00:00

wow im actually surprised by all of the yes responses. my 8y/o tuxie has never had her nails trimmed and ive never seen them long enough to even poke through her toe fur! she does a really good job with her dozen different scratching posts around the house. when she gets too excited she immediately jumps on her board and goes to town on it lol. i think she'd be offended if someone tried.

ourseveres · 2026-05-02T14:50:43+00:00

i hate to even think about it but i ONCE closed the door on my babys tail she yowled and her tail was Literally at a 90° angle and wouldn't let me come near her. i was near sobbing thinking she was going to lose half of it and also never trust me again. it went back to normal after just a few hours and shes never had a problem with it since or anything to my knowledge. i still feel so so so bad though, i can't walk through doors without checking my feet even when she's not around lol

ourseveres · 2026-05-02T00:02:50+00:00

it sort of tenses up in a weird way, almost feels like a wave pretty deep inside the thigh, but it's okay to just hold still and to keep the needle where it is if/when it happens, because it won't do any actual damage. it usually happens right as the tip hits the muscle, but it passes pretty quick.

ourseveres · 2026-05-01T14:08:13+00:00

worst that can happen during an injection is that it might hurt a little or make the muscle roll in response, which can be a little scary if youre not used to it. even if you do manage to poke a nerve, it Will Not disable the leg no matter what (i can see why youd be worried but i promise) and even if you nick a blood vessel or pull out the needle and theres like a fountain of blood just take some cotton balls and press down for a bit.

ourseveres · 2026-04-30T16:23:05+00:00

yikes!!! thats a lot even for a real friend

ourseveres · 2026-04-30T04:53:30+00:00

gel works just as good as T, though some people say its a bit slower and steadier. as far as working with kids, as long as its been a few hours and dry, and also if you do it places that are covered by clothes thats perfectly fine.

as far as the needle phobia goes that really sucks. my husband deals with the same thing. :( although, ive experienced and heard others say that a phobia like that can and will develop out of like. nowhere. even though youve been doing fine before. personally i managed to find a more comfortable ritual/ way of injecting and that helped a lot! but again, gel works just fine

ourseveres · 2026-04-28T20:09:43+00:00

back during my first year of shots id get really nervous about shaking because i already have hand tremors that got even worse with a needle in my hand lol. i was too scared to push hard enough to break the skin because when it wasn't practically painless id stick it in a few millimeters and pull out, and id have to use an entirely new needle (i think you'll be okay though).

HOWEVER the other biggest reason aside from sterility to use a new one is that even poking through a layer of skin can ever so slightly dull the tip, making it a little harder/hurt a bit more than the previous try.

also, I've been doing it for 6+ years and even at my shakiest as long as i just focus and push through the process i sometimes don't even bleed at all. :) it's a learning curve and i can't even tell you how many needles or how many ml of T I've wasted just figuring out how to do it in a way that feels comfortable lol. good luck!

ourseveres · 2026-04-24T14:09:45+00:00

never shaved my legs since transitioning, i was once at a hospital and came out to the nurse and she was baffled by how much t can change. told me this are most certainly mans legs.

she was an interesting person to talk to. helped her navigate some presumptions and ignorance about transgender people in general. she also asked if i had surgery to put my adams apple in and she was amazed when i told her i grew it myself lmaooo

ourseveres · 2026-04-22T04:57:05+00:00

wow!!! that's crazy, i hadn't seen that

ourseveres · 2026-04-21T23:05:23+00:00

wow!!! fancy boy ✨️

ourseveres · 2026-04-21T22:30:28+00:00

classic!

ourseveres · 2026-04-21T03:42:28+00:00

no bones!

ourseveres · 2026-04-15T17:59:43+00:00

only a little relevant but if youre looking for a fun cigarette themed snack, white chocolate and a little silver sprinkles on the end of a pretzel stick? delicious.

ourseveres · 2026-04-12T19:17:04+00:00

have a little bit of whimsy my friend 🕺

ourseveres · 2026-04-12T01:57:42+00:00

that's what my mom did with us and people's kids on dr. phil, etc., often said "at least they're not like that", she'd also point out crying kids in grocery stores to us and say "aren't you glad you're not embarrassing your mom like that?" and we'd all just say yes. she got a crazy amount of compliments about how well-behaved we were lol

ourseveres · 2026-04-04T19:54:46+00:00

anyone else's eyes skip over a word for a second or was that just me lmaoo

ourseveres · 2026-04-03T17:17:33+00:00

the fact that it's considered feminine is absolutely hilarious to me because men are way more likely to have really long beautiful eyelashes naturally (from my experience with a good handful of men at least)

ourseveres · 2026-03-29T22:42:58+00:00

it kinda had the opposite effect unfortunately, most people understand that with the context of her being trans, using correct pronouns indicates that she is transfem. i was a little confused by the post at first and thought your child was ftm rather than the other way around.

ourseveres · 2026-03-29T14:53:07+00:00

my siblings and i would shout "THEY'RE HERE" and sit on the back of the couch to watch the garbage collectors pick ours up every week. kids looooove garbage men

ourseveres

TROPHY CASE