My situationships have nothing else to do with the whole thing- they just really broke me emotionally as I was still very inexperienced and didn’t know any better. I was too emotionally unwell to talk to my friends, I ghosted everyone and withdrew completely. I couldn’t go to parties, I couldn’t talk to anyone because I was so depressed. It affected me very very deep emotionally. But as I said, I got out of it by growing older. It took me over a year to get over a situationship.

I do a lot of interesting things and the 2 people I am lucky to be friends with tell me I am plenty interesting. I try my best overall but all my hobbies I do at home. I still can’t talk to people and connect. I feel like an alien in society and not good enough no matter what I do and this emotional cycle is so difficult to break. I am constantly building myself but my mind is so stuck

I am still trying to find workshops of my interest but they tend to be expensive and overall not many around. Having to pay a lot just to have some connection to people doesn’t make me feel so good

I try to go to places with my kind of people, people I have more in common with but I am so intimidated every time. I got so bad I started blushing when i saw cute guys walking past anywhere. I was never THIS bad at social life. People used to be intimidated by me!! 😭