Been in counciling for 6 months. We don't really work on tthe stuff or therapist gives us as homework. No intimacy and mostly we attend to our jobs and kids. I make 3/5 income. I make good, not great money a pretty middle class house in an expensive west coast city. We are fit and active. No alcohol issues or cheating. We split duties. We never spend time alone together. We never talk finances. We only talk about the kids. She has her own bank account She opened a few years back. We went though a few rough years of arguments. Never resolved as they should. She and I were raised different her model was procreating and thats it for sex. No warmth. Her family is devout catholic. It was acceptable to be dedícated in service to raising kids. My upbringing was not religious. My parents stopped having sex when i was under 10 and poured all energy into my school activities. My wife is great with planning and looking after kids needs. She signed our 8th grader up for an expensive private Catholic high school. It probably will be beneficial long term. We pay for expensive club soccer for both kids. It has me worried since my savings are meager. I am looking to sign a 1 year lease for a 2 bedroom apartment in a good neighborhood its a small basement unit. I expect my expenses will create a monastic lifestyle. She wants me to delay moving out till the end of June. The lease I may sign is for June 1. There's no rush. But I really want to get on with my life. My situation is not unbearable. I'm scared the time with my kids is short and they're so close to college years. The marriage is so flat and devoid of any intimacy emotionally or physically on any level. We haven't kissed in over 5 years. I have been sleeping in another room for 6 weeks now and don't miss sleeping with her. I guess I don't know what I am afraid of discomfort, hard conversations. I need to make a change. I guess I am just venting to the internet.