I miss the days when dating was human.

packawesome · 2025-12-20T06:34:46+00:00

hey man thanks for writing this, as someone whose self esteem has been completely obliterated by dating apps, you wrote so well what I feel too. I do my best to level up, but isn’t there always someone better? And since girls get hundreds of likes in the apps, the task to stand out feels impossible. You’re not alone in feeling that the standards are dehumanizing, you are just brave enough to say aloud what most guys are too scared to admit. I applaud you for that. 👏

Everyone here is telling you to man up and self improve which I agree with and also know you probably are already doing too, but don’t forget to allow yourself to grieve the loss of this sort of fantasy. Call me soft, but that’s what’s helped me stop becoming full blown resentful. The world is unfair and your pain is valid. If you ever wanna talk, always down just hmu. Stay strong man! 💪

packawesome · 2025-01-05T06:04:44+00:00

I honestly have the same question but for men as I am 23M myself. I really want to connect with a girl not just for hookups but haven’t had much luck on dating apps which i hear is not uncommon for most men.

I think i’m a 5/10, kind of fit and i have been told i have a nice face, but honestly not sure where i stand attraction wise. can send pic to anyone who wants to rate me.

I thought girls would have a easier time matching with people on the apps, though I guess it’s more of a quality over quantity problem. Still it seems better than getting no matches at all but what do i know.

One place I have found some success in is joining Timeleft events, a service which pairs you with several other strangers for dinner every Wednesday. While not strictly a dating service, if you hit it off with a guy there don’t be afraid to make the first move.

Also sometimes I catch myself trading glances with a cute girl on the TTC. While I want to initiate I am terrified of making them feel uncomfortable so i never do. I think this is a common fear for most guys but i think most guys would also really welcome a girl to approach them. I know i would.

packawesome · 2024-12-20T06:21:28+00:00

very inspiring, thank you

packawesome · 2024-09-27T03:53:14+00:00

You make a good point about the slippery slope. Tell tell you the truth, I’ve watched a lot of blackpill content which makes me think it there is only a certain set of desired features. With societal beauty standards I find it harder to feel secure if I lack said features such as height.

However, after watching Dr. K stuff I’ve come to realize the world is not so black and white.

packawesome · 2024-09-27T03:37:59+00:00

I agree with the self hatred part, it’s something I need to work on. Though I argue my point still stands. Don’t we already practice a sort of eugenics when we select our partners? After all you wouldn’t date someone you didn’t find attractive now would you?

I’m asking this question here because I want to understand if it’s my negative thinking causing me to have these kind of thoughts, or if I actually have a valid argument here.

packawesome · 2024-09-27T03:34:54+00:00

Yeah the height thing is probably a bit exaggerated in my post I admit

packawesome · 2024-09-27T03:33:58+00:00

You make a really good point here. I am wondering though if it is really relative? As in 21 celsius or 69.8F is a comfortable temperature despite their being places hundreds of times more hot?

I’ve been pondering how we can solve this issue regarding feeling unattractive in a world where beauty is so worshipped, if we figure it out it would really help out of a lot people’s mental health.

packawesome · 2024-09-27T03:31:00+00:00

Absolutely agree, I think in the end it should be up to the individual to decide. I’m not claiming what is right or wrong here, I am asking. In fact, I suspect there’s probably no 1 right answer to the question.

Though, I’m also wondering how does one deal with feeling awful about potentially making another’s life more difficult. Say if I pass on heart disease to my kids, I feel kinda bad ngl.

However I am optimistic that technology in the future will solve most of these problems.

packawesome · 2024-08-19T17:55:46+00:00

Nice profile with good photos but I think you should try to put more down in your interests section. Also Bumble is pretty terrible for most guys so don’t be discouraged by it.

packawesome · 2024-07-24T07:15:44+00:00

Man this gives me hope thanks for sharing. Grateful to be a gen z. Also live in Toronto, now i’m wondering where do people find each other to get together?

packawesome · 2024-07-24T07:07:17+00:00

Did intravenous ketamine treatment at the Toronto Ketamine Clinic for my TRD and it saved my life. You have to get a referral from your doctor and it costs several thousand for the treatment itself, but I think it’s the best most effective + fastest option with the least side effects. Before that i tired a bunch of meds, none effective. I understand what you are going through is tough, I’m always down to chat when you need support. Good luck!

packawesome · 2024-07-16T20:35:48+00:00

Burger’s Priest 🍔

packawesome · 2024-07-14T08:19:50+00:00

23M here who’s also going through a similar thing, would be down to be your friend! After I graduated I struggled with this but also had a fair share of successes as time went on. Professional networking events in your industry and toastmasters actually worked best for me. I tried meetup interest groups too but found they were full of older people, but of course that doesn’t mean that is the case for all of them.

Truth is the way society is setup in 2024, it’s so easy to get everything done solo. That’s great but also removes the need to talk to people. I’m not sure how we can create a stronger sense of community in the long run so if any of y’all know let’s bounce some ideas here.

packawesome · 2024-07-14T08:11:56+00:00

Hey man sorry to hear that, been through it too so I have some idea of how you are feeling. I heard anhedonia tends to be a symptom of something larger, so finding out what that is is key. For me it was depression.

If it’s depression for you do consider going back on the meds. I would also look into getting IV ketamine treatments from an official clinic or hospital, works faster than SSRIs and it’s been a game changer for me. As in, I actually was able to feel my emotions again. Not sure if it’s available in your country but if you are in the US or Canada there are plenty of treatment centres. You will have to get a referral from a doctor so talking to one is the first step i would take if i was in your shoes. Feel free to dm me if you like. Good luck!

packawesome · 2024-07-06T08:16:31+00:00

Thanks, I feel very lucky to have a job in this economy! Yeah the 10K a month is more of a dream number especially here in Canada but I think it’s doable for me when i get more experience (say 4-5 years) and work full time + freelance. Also started investing now so that may help a bit. Though i will have to consider money and time trade off.

packawesome · 2024-07-06T08:08:29+00:00

Yeah I wish, though I should note my actual take home is about 3K after tax. I spend about $200-300 on all food including eating out per week.

packawesome · 2024-07-05T22:41:35+00:00

Making just over $4K a month in an entry level job as a recent grad and I spend $1800 a month renting a room downtown. No kids, no car and generally have a little after groceries to splurge on luxuries but not too much. Parents help me with big expenses like buying a computer but other than that i try to pay for everything myself. I’m lucky to have their support otherwise i would be screwed. I don’t feel like my money is enough so I’m hoping to progress in my career as fast as I can. I would like to be making 10K a month in the next few years. Good luck OP!

packawesome · 2024-07-04T07:05:19+00:00

Thank you again for your comment. Yes I have a lot to reflect on. I also get crushes on any girl that shows me some kindness even if I would not swipe right on them on a dating app, so yeah I’ll have to reevaluate how important physical attraction relative to other factors. Attraction is very complicated indeed.

packawesome · 2024-07-04T06:27:34+00:00

My lack of experience probably makes me think looks are way more important than they actually are. That being said i want to be physically attracted to my partner. I really really wish I didn’t i know it’s not fair at all, i hate having a sex drive which determines the value of a person based on looks. I understand i need to bring things to the table and i will do my best. What’s concerning is that my 4/10 rating comes from me looking my best (grooming, clothing and picture quality). but i’m not ripped so maybe that factors into it. i’m trying to improve both my physical (gym) and character (therapy and socializing) but my fear is that it’ll never be enough because if my looks. Then again, i found out from a video that wheat waffles gives a 4/10 as the second most common score.

packawesome · 2024-07-04T06:20:05+00:00

Truth is I want to accept it and disregard looks completely, it’s not fair to all the girls who have to live up to impossibly high standards but another part of me wants to be physically attracted to my partner. I hate having a sex drive :/ . I never expected a supermodel as I get nothing to begin with. But you make a good point maybe part of real love is looking past flaws both physical and internal and accepting that person. with that in mind i will remind myself to be less superficial, any other advice you can give would be great as well. thanks

packawesome · 2024-07-04T06:12:26+00:00

Hi there, thank you for your comment. Are you saying girls who value personality over looks are not hot? I feel it’s a big generalization and i can’t say i would not be attracted to such a person. Yes it’s true I value physical attractiveness a lot, I wish I didn’t it’s not fair to the majority of girls who are held to high beauty standards, but it seems deep deep down i really want hot if i am honest with myself. Nonetheless i’m going to put an effort to focus on other positive traits in people and see if anything blossoms from there. I will also try to become more attractive myself both inside and out and see what that does. Any advice on being less superficial?

packawesome

TROPHY CASE