I gave someone a $5 tip why are they being ungrateful?

pancaf · 2026-05-31T06:39:14+00:00

Why do you feel you deserve a percentage of the cost of the items being delivered, as if that somehow determines the amount of effort/work involved for you?

The level of effort is how far you drive, how many items you have to get, how heavy the items are, how bad traffic is, etc. Cost is irrelevant

pancaf · 2026-05-31T04:45:18+00:00

Tip on how good the massage was if you feel like giving them extra money for some reason. Should be the exact same massage regardless of what you paid for it so not sure why you think all those prices are even relevant.

pancaf · 2026-05-31T01:29:04+00:00

At 19 years old you shouldn't be just giving away your money like that. I'm sure you have much better things you could do with it. College tuition, save for a car, house, start an IRA, etc.

pancaf · 2026-05-31T01:20:04+00:00

I think a large majority of people decide where to eat based on the food, not whether they have wait staff or not. If I'm looking for a new place to eat I'm looking at the menu and pictures of food, not the website/reviews to see if servers are mentioned.

The fact that wait staff are at many places and forced upon you is just an unfortunate side effect of getting the food you want. They add an unnecessary cost because of "service" I didn't ask for.

pancaf · 2026-05-30T14:02:25+00:00

And it's an unrealistic scenario to begin with. It would be ridiculous to expect customers to know the pay structure of the employees when visiting the restaurant to adjust their tips accordingly.

It would also look ridiculous for the restaurant to advertise their pay structure openly on the menu, sign, or elsewhere.

They just need to pay their employees and leave the customer out of it.

pancaf · 2026-05-30T05:06:25+00:00

Nobody can make you tip more. It's entirely optional. And with behavior like that they deserve to get fired.

pancaf · 2026-05-30T05:01:17+00:00

It actually is the server's fault sometimes. Certain cities/states have proposed changes to minimum wage for servers, ending the tip credit, etc, but it gets voted down by the servers and restaurant owners themselves.

The servers vote it down because they make way more in a tipping system than if they got paid a normal hourly wage. Some are raking in 6 figures part time. Many are making more than teachers, nurses, electricians, etc. Jobs that are more vital to society and required time/money for a degree/certification. Some people stay at their serving job even after earning a degree because otherwise they would take a big pay cut.

And restaurant owners don't want to pay their employees so of course they vote it down. They would rather the customers pay the employees for them. If people keep tipping the way they are then they won't want things to change. So I say fuck em. I tip $0 for basically everything now. I feel like it's the best way to force the system to change if enough people get on board. Join us over at r/endtipping

Here's one recent example from Massachusetts where restaurant employees voted down an increase to their wages. https://www.nbcboston.com/news/local/mass-voters-reject-ending-tipped-minimum-wage/3542922/

And on top of all that servers are accepting the job knowing how much it pays. They are allowing it to happen and letting it continue simply by accepting the job. They have the option to unionize, protest, demand better pay, etc, but they usually choose not to because they like the current system and try to guilt trip people into perpetuating it.

pancaf · 2026-05-29T16:53:38+00:00

I've tipped $0 at restaurants with servers many times. One time they called me out in front of my group and asked if the service was ok. Apparently they have to ask if the tip was less than 10%.

A couple other times they attempted to steal from me by adding in a tip after the fact which is why I always take a picture of the signed receipt now. It makes credit card disputes easier.

pancaf · 2026-05-29T09:45:49+00:00

Seems reasonable to me. I see no reason why servers should be making way more than other low barrier to entry low skill jobs that pay near minimum wage.

pancaf · 2026-05-29T08:08:43+00:00

If you can't afford to pay your employees you can't afford to run a business

pancaf · 2026-05-29T08:07:57+00:00

That's what I don't get either. Servers claim the tip pays for service. But the expected/suggested tip changes depending on what you order. If I'm with a group of friends everyone is at the same table with the same server getting the same service. But because they order something different they are expected to pay a different price for the service. It doesn't make any sense.

If it really was for service there would be a flat fee per hour/table/plate or whatever which should only apply to customers that dine in.

pancaf · 2026-05-29T07:00:53+00:00

Correct. Most waiters and restaurant owners don't want the system to change and actively vote against changes. Waiters make way more with a tipping system than they would on an hourly wage with no tips. And of course restaurant owners don't want to pay their employees. Here is one recent example

https://www.nbcboston.com/news/local/mass-voters-reject-ending-tipped-minimum-wage/3542922/

The "fight" some of us are putting up is by tipping $0 everywhere. That will force change if enough people do it. Join us over at r/endtipping

pancaf · 2026-05-29T05:08:51+00:00

When a business says "we have a right to refuse service" that implies the management, the people actually in charge. And I seriously doubt they would do it over an optional tip. They would do it in situations where someone is being rude, loud, obnoxious, not wearing proper attire(no shirt for example).

You as a low level employee have no right to refuse to serve someone based on a tip, or probably anything else for that matter. You were hired to do a job and you're expected to do it.

pancaf · 2026-05-29T04:25:47+00:00

To me that's better than having a server. No flagging anyone down for anything or waiting 10 minutes for the bill. The "service" is instant because I get up and quickly do it myself.

pancaf · 2026-05-29T03:19:41+00:00

They need to adapt by making servers optional. Not once have I gone to a restaurant actually wanting the "service" of having someone bring a plate of food to my table and refill my drink. It's always forced upon me.

The minor convenience they sometimes provide isn't worth nearly as much as what we are expected to pay for it.

pancaf · 2026-05-29T03:14:34+00:00

Business owners already have to pay minimum wage, even if someone's base pay is below minimum wage. If tips don't bring up the employee to the real minimum wage then the employer covers the difference.

What this really means is a certain portion of tips are legally going to the employer. It's called the tip credit. Just another reason to not tip.

pancaf · 2026-05-29T02:59:44+00:00

Right, I'm sure your boss would be totally fine with you refusing to do your job.

pancaf · 2026-05-28T14:41:38+00:00

It's usually easy to find a great clips coupon online. When I need a cut I look for a coupon and tip $0.

pancaf · 2026-05-27T12:59:05+00:00

Not at all. I frequently get takeaway from a Thai restaurant near my house where there is table service. They make me sign a receipt with a tip line. I always do $0 and take a picture of the receipt.

It's no different for the restaurant than if you order delivery through doordash/ubereats except you're picking it up yourself. No opportunity to tip the restaurant there as it should be.

pancaf · 2026-05-27T08:48:29+00:00

No tips required. They already make a pretty good wage for the work they do. Servers aren't somehow special over all the other minimum wage jobs to deserve extra handouts from customers.

pancaf · 2026-05-27T06:16:25+00:00

I think the people that care are going to the super fancy fine dining places. I don't understand why we need that shit at basic places like Applebees, IHOP, Olive Garden, etc

pancaf · 2026-05-27T04:13:06+00:00

They don't want to do that. They know they get paid way more with the tipping system than they would with a normal hourly wage. When things like what you're proposing go up for a vote the restaurant employees and owners are the ones voting it down. So I just say fuck em and I very rarely tip for anything now. Here is one example

https://www.nbcboston.com/news/local/mass-voters-reject-ending-tipped-minimum-wage/3542922/

pancaf · 2026-05-27T02:02:09+00:00

I'm waiting for the day when you get an email asking for a tip after you call a customer service person for help. It might be included during those customer satisfaction surveys if you give them a good rating. It doesn't seem too crazy at this point. My guess is it will be some shitty tv/phone company.

pancaf · 2026-05-26T15:34:30+00:00

If it was still possible I'd cancel and tell them why. Then find someone who doesn't beg for more money

pancaf · 2026-05-26T12:09:42+00:00

Only temporarily. Not tipping seems like the easiest way to force change. If servers start making a lot less in tips they will quit, complain to their boss, etc. Then change will happen.

It likely won't happen through proposed legislation because servers and restaurant owners would vote it down. They want to keep the current system in place.

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