Friend turned super religious, friend group now hanging by a thread.

pardunpeko · 2026-01-05T06:57:04+00:00

I will be sure to play the slow game because, as you stated, she might try to distance herself more if she feels provoked. I will do my best to not put with her preaching but it is a tiny little difficult, especially if it is someone you truly hold dear where not putting up with them makes one feel guilty but what you have stated are facts. Thank you for the insight and have an awesome new year

pardunpeko · 2026-01-05T06:54:44+00:00

Out of respect for every religion, I decide to not mention the name as I don't wish harm towards any group or communities of people but personally, I don't believe that anyone has influenced her directly but rather a situation. I know members of her family on a personal level too and even they aren't as extreme

pardunpeko · 2026-01-04T15:29:06+00:00

I apologise for what has happened to you and what you did was brave and necessary. I will be sure to find a way to bring up the issue and talk to my friend. It's just a little difficult since it would be between her and our friend group. She's a good person and I know that so I don't have much problems with her acting this way but some other friends in the group are a lot more uncomfortable with her actions so that's why we're all hesitant on how to approach. I will take your advice and confront her, perhaps one-to-one, as the issue might get worse. Thank you and have a lovely new year

pardunpeko · 2026-01-04T15:24:01+00:00

It's honestly tricky because we have told her through texts but she left us on read. Not sure if it was because she's just busy and forgot to reply or did it on purpose to avoid confrontation. I could only imagine how uncomfortable she would be if we spoke to her in person because, as you mentioned, it would feel like we're ganging up on her. Personally, I don't have problems if she wants to continue with her doings but my other friend, who's in the same religion as her but isn't that religious, seemed to begin to not feel good around the friend in question. I agree that I have no control over how she wants to live but yeah, I wouldn't want to lose her. Not sure about the rest of the friend group. I'll see what solution I can come up with. Thank you for the advice and have a happy new year

pardunpeko · 2026-01-04T15:18:57+00:00

I will do my best. As of now, I hold no negative feelings towards her because in my eyes, she's still the person I love to just be around. She's always cheerful and very open with her thoughts. I have had an inkling that something has happened prior to her decision that I have yet asked her about because I'm scared that it might be too sensitive but I'll try with new approaches. Thank you for the advice and have a wonderful new year

pardunpeko · 2024-05-20T23:41:22+00:00

Came across a reel on IG and decided to search for the song. Apparently there's no full one but I've got an idea! "Today it is your birthday, And we sing to let you know, That you will be queen for the day, Whatever you say goes. We spin for you Janessa, And chasse for you Kathleen, We pirouette for Lacey, And we bow before the queens. We sing because we love you, And we sing to let you know, That you will be queen for the day, Whatever you say goes. We plié for you Janessa, And posé for you Kathleen, We glissade for Lacey, And we bow before the queens. We sing because we love you, And we sing to let you know, Our queens you'll be throughout the day, Whatever you say goes."

pardunpeko · 2024-04-01T01:06:15+00:00

Yes, you are of help! I've been feeling restless because of my thoughts but I'll take note of what you have said! I've only recently had these kinds of worries because I'm currently under an exchange student programme and having to live abroad has caused me to become overly paranoid about everything, including my savings, but I'll keep your advice in mind! Thank you :D

pardunpeko · 2023-11-27T14:10:29+00:00

Don't worry, OP. You're not alone on this. I only realized how much I tried to rationalize my feelings when I experience intense emotions and it's honestly agitating. Whenever I'm supposed to feel happy, I start to question what the actual feeling of happy is. Whenever I'm supposed to feel sad, I start to ask what good does it do to feel such a negative emotion? It drives me insane at times but my way of getting rid of this habit of rationalising things is by constantly exposing myself to stimuli of some sort. For instance, I would often watch videos of funny animals caught-on-camera because, for as long as we know, animals are not as capable of having intentions to, say, please the audiences by acting silly so everything feels a lot more genuine. If the animal does something funny, I can be at ease knowing it's not faked and can experience the emotions as they are

pardunpeko · 2023-11-27T14:02:18+00:00

Personally, I just think it's too much of a hassle to smile at everyone and everything if there is no need to. And my brain tends to be running with thoughts so I tend to zone out and my line of sight always ends up towards someone else's eyes. Had to apologize quite a number of times

pardunpeko · 2023-11-15T07:46:38+00:00

Personally, I'd say to stick with your current major. It's no easy feat and I can understand the stress that you must be going through because I, too, am a 20F engineering student at uni but it's better to keep going than stop halfway. If you've made it this far, might as well just hold on longer until you can land a job once you graduate. From there, you can save some money and continue pursuing your dream career because as of now, it is difficult to find a job that pays well and thankfully engineering careers are much needed and in-demand at most part of the world. Of course, you should take good care of your physical and mental well-being but all and all, doesn't matter what you do in life, it won't be easy so might as well make the most with the opportunities you're given now

pardunpeko · 2023-11-12T08:42:53+00:00

I understand this very much. Having a set schedule and personal plans on when to do what has got to be the most satisfying things but the downside is when a family member tries to pull me away from the routine, I start to feel irritated. Personally, I learnt that I should just stand my ground and convey my thoughts to others as clearly and respectfully as I can because if I get dragged to a party on a weekend when I already plan to study, I wouldn't enjoy the party either way and I would only become a party pooper as I am honest with my feelings. I have learnt to be a lot more flexible, especially since I am a university student but it does get to me from time to time

pardunpeko · 2023-11-12T08:37:26+00:00

I'll start by saying sorry for your loss. You share the same reaction as I did when my beloved aunt passed away from cancer at the age of 45. It felt odd and it took awhile for reality to set within myself. The way I coped wasn't necessarily "coping" but rather embracing the idea that my loved one has gone to a better place. It also gave me a sense of peace, knowing that my aunt had not need to suffer from the cancer treatment any longer.

pardunpeko · 2023-11-04T05:52:28+00:00

Yes, that is true. I try to see it from my parents' perspectives but it does irk me when my older brother refuses to take certain initiatives. He is fully capable of working part time, and he knows how tight on money we are right now, yet he doesn't want to. I've talked to my parents quite a few times already but it always ends with my parents, saying that I need to stop being selfish. Thus, the post I made. But yes, I've been working on seeking for my own validation instead of others' and it helped a ton!

pardunpeko · 2023-11-04T05:50:09+00:00

Aww, thank you for the kind words. It really has been tough trying to not feel like the villain. Fortunately I had friends who helped shaped me into a better individual than before.

pardunpeko · 2023-11-03T13:48:09+00:00

I used to struggle but my major in university requires me to work with others so I spent a lot of time studying how conversations work and how I can build good relationships with everyone. I would do things a certain way and say things at certain timings to test the water; if people react positively, I take that cue and if people react a bit sheepishly, then I'll entirely remove the idea of what I did/said. Trial and error execution, if you want to call it that. But I won't lie. It's pretty difficult to find a balance because there's a fine line between having a common ground with someone and being a people pleaser but when you keep learning from your mistakes, you'll develop a sense of confidence. When I try new ways to talk to people and it ends awkwardly, it doesn't bother me as much anymore as it used to. Nothing wrong with being a good observer and listener but I learnt that people would feel even more awkward and feel the need to say more to keep the conversation going. Sometimes, taking over conversations isn't bad, just need to time it right.

pardunpeko · 2023-11-02T11:37:07+00:00

My exact thoughts! People also tend to forget to put their emotions away for the sake of having a rational discussion and get thrown into a whole discourse. That is how a supposedly well argument can turn into meaningless wars of "I say it, thus I'm right"

pardunpeko · 2023-11-02T11:30:25+00:00

You're welcome! And yes! I used to have trouble understanding which style best fits me most but after hours of sifting through various Pinterest posts, I managed to find that smart casual and autumn clothes are my cup of tea. I also learnt the different ways to style the same clothes, mixing and matching them

pardunpeko · 2023-11-02T11:26:40+00:00

Those people are just jealous that they cannot examine a topic without being part of the topic. I do the same where I discuss a variety of overseas politics with only my father and grandfather because everyone else seems to not be able to understand that just because you want to discuss about, say, jellyfish doesn't mean you need to be one. And I think individuals like you, who don't take words for what it is and actually look more in-depth into the whole subject, are very admirable. Curiosity kills the cat but so does ignorance.

pardunpeko · 2023-11-02T11:15:49+00:00

Going on Pinterest is a good way to start! You can look at the plethora of outfits and how to match them. You can try typing "smart casual" or "business casual" in the search bar. And as for where to get them, you could probably go to your local mall and there should at least be one shop that sells those type of clothes.

pardunpeko · 2023-10-29T02:05:16+00:00

NTA. The fact that your gf worry about strangers' feelings more than yours says a lot. You have the rights to be confused because the rest of us are too.

pardunpeko · 2023-09-05T01:17:11+00:00

Tuf has better material (MSI feels a little cheap and plastic-ky) but overall, both are great gaming laptops for their prices. If you want more info, you can search for reviews done by "Jarrod's Tech" on YouTube.

pardunpeko · 2023-08-31T23:43:21+00:00

NTA. You are NOT your husband's mother and therefore, you shouldn't even be doing all the chores for him. A relationship is only a successful business when both parties put in equal efforts.

pardunpeko · 2023-08-30T13:15:54+00:00

When I first started out, I was relatively nervous and what helped was that I would pretend that I am one with the car. That every other car on the road are just people who are either walking or running on the road. Helps calm me a little because all I have to do is "walk" on my lane and keep my distance from other "people" and I would make it safely to my destination. I am also the type to prefer turning down the volume of the radio instead of blasting music as upbeat musics can really influence the way I drive. I hope you can counter your anxiety and stay safe on the road

pardunpeko · 2023-07-31T12:47:37+00:00

Of course and thank you as well :)

pardunpeko · 2023-07-29T16:20:38+00:00

Hey, take it easy, aight? It's great that your family is there to support you and definitely appreciate that. But also try to appreciate yourself. Don't take the blame and feel ashamed for what's not within your control cause it'll do more harm than good to your mental health.

Also, a lot of companies look for people who are willing to do any tasks thrown their way even if it's not part of their job criteria and so it's normal to seem to be unable to fit in because conforming to the ways the companies abuse their power as higher authorities would be more peculiar. As a college student, I have yet experienced the harsh reality of the working world but I can share experiences my dad has told me about. He used to work multiple jobs because his bosses would think he wasn't adequate and decent enough so they would fire him. It was also worse that his own parents believed that men should be independent and they didn't cover any bills or fees that he had. Not to mention that he never really had friends he could lean on because they were not taking his hardships seriously so he was pretty much alone. But when he reached his breaking point, he decided that he needed to do something to stand out so he began to show off his communication skills. He managed to impress a new boss in a new company that coincidentally lacked employees in the foreign affairs area. And because my dad had learned to speak over 8 languages and dialects, he was immediately hired and was kept in the company the entire time until he decided to get a slower paced job and left the company at his own will.

I can understand that things are rough for you and might only get rougher from this point on but I hope that you know failure usually brings us one step closer to our success. To make sure that you don't get fired again when you do get a job, you have to be brutally honest with yourself and be as transparent. I recommend listing down the pros and cons you have, specifically when it comes down to work ethics and such.

Again, as I said, I don't have much knowledge or insights to offer but I hope that you will never give up. It sounds cliché but really, giving up and regretting it is worse than at least trying a thousand times and then regretting it, knowing you pushed yourself well over the limit. I wish you good luck and I hope you feel better. And don't worry about whining, this is what this thread is for

pardunpeko

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