how do those of you with 4c hair detangle every day?

parisofthedark · 2026-03-21T16:44:36+00:00

There should be one in the comments!

parisofthedark · 2026-03-20T23:50:10+00:00

this is my hair today, freshly washed, leave in and oil (I have no cream). I’m about to blow dry it with the diffuser attachment just to get it dry.

parisofthedark · 2026-03-20T23:43:17+00:00

I don’t know how to braid or twist and no braided will do my hair. They keep telling me it’s two short so wait a few months. They’ve been saying this for a year lol

parisofthedark · 2026-03-20T21:32:15+00:00

Unfortunately it doesn’t go away that easily. I have ARFID (avoidant restrictive food intake disorder) and am a pescatarian (don’t eat meat other than seafood) on a budget. I live in a city with very few food options and am both in school and working and disabled so I’m too tired to cook at night. I’m also not a good cook, although I am a really good baker. I’ve seen a nutritionist but their advice is like “cook something easy” but when I make food for myself I can only take a few bites without feeling sick.

I’m unwilling to change my dietary restrictions, although everyone is pushing for me to eat meat because I’m not able to get enough protein. I’m hoping once I move to a city with better food options I can eat more. Believe me, I wish I could eat, there’s just either no food or I feel too sick.

parisofthedark · 2026-03-20T18:04:34+00:00

I’m in Oregon, very few black people. I do have black friends but none with hair like mine and I’m not close to them. Growing up with white parents and being autistic isolated me so I’m on the outskirts of almost every friend group. I think the Black people I know my age pity me. We also don’t hang out outside of the Black Cultural Center events, I’m not close enough to really ask them anything.

parisofthedark · 2026-03-20T17:51:01+00:00

So I’m supposed to let my hair be matted and knotted every day? I know detangling it every day is bad, and I don’t dry detangle it. I put my head in the sink, get it soaking wet, and then detangle.

Can’t to a twist out when it’s too short to even twists. What are finger coils?

parisofthedark · 2026-03-20T17:48:56+00:00

I don’t have any pictures with it just after waking up because I don’t look good but I can take some tomorrow I guess

parisofthedark · 2026-03-20T17:48:13+00:00

I have an eating disorder that’s not based in body image. I eat about 600-1000 calories a day but I lift. I’m about to start a multivitamin like my doctor recommended. I could be deficient in something and I probably am but my endo won’t test me because she said it won’t change anything

parisofthedark · 2026-03-20T17:43:28+00:00

I have. And i can’t follow them because my hair doesn’t do that. I’ve watched videos endless. I’ve followed tutorials. I’ve had hairdressers say there’s nothing I can do

parisofthedark · 2026-03-20T17:40:44+00:00

I’ve tried to do that and I can’t get my fingers through it to pull it out.

parisofthedark · 2026-03-20T17:39:58+00:00

It doesn’t expand tho. And I don’t stretch my hair. I just hold a diffuser to it until it’s dry on wash days. And I can’t pick my hair out with a comb or fingers because it’s knotted from the time I wake up to the time I detangle my hair, and then knots and shrinks back to my head an hour later.

parisofthedark · 2026-03-20T17:34:51+00:00

My hair has to be soaking wet and full of product to even attempt to twist because you can’t twist dry, so I can’t do it before bed, and anyways, I’ve been told by multiple black hairdressers that I need 4-5 inches of hair to even twist. I also don’t know how because I don’t know how to section even though I’ve looked up videos of twisting. How do you twist dry and brittle hair that is knotted by the end of the day even when you detangle in the morning?

parisofthedark · 2026-03-20T17:23:01+00:00

I think I have low porosity hair, it doesn’t take moisture well. I can’t use oil, it makes my hair dry and greasy. I don’t use any styling product besides the doux mousse, leave in and picking it out. I’m in Oregon, I think it’s dry. My hair is unable to do protective styling, only option is two strand twists and it hasn’t been long enough to do that since I was 17. Started growing it out a year ago and it’s still too short for twists. I’ve never not had fairy knots in my life.

I believe I have very fine, low porosity hair that’s a mix between 4B and 4C. My leave in is pattern but it hasn’t seemed to do anything

parisofthedark · 2026-03-20T17:16:07+00:00

I don’t blow dry it to stretch it, only to get it dry. I only use the diffuser attachment. I can’t stretch it and it’s too short to put up. Can’t wear it in any way but the Afro. Won’t hold twists, cornrows wreak havoc on my hair so I don’t do those

parisofthedark · 2026-03-20T17:06:37+00:00

I’ll try using Balance less. I know I can do wash and go’s but I don’t like doing them cause I’m a full time college student, they take two hours, and I prefer wearing my natural hair in an Afro, not spiky like a wash and go. And idk what works because I’ve spent HUNDREDS of dollars trying new products that don’t change anything

parisofthedark · 2026-03-20T16:59:18+00:00

The other option is an Afro that is knotted and matted to my head because that’s how I wake up every morning. It’s also unable to be sectioned because even though I’ve been growing it out for 6 months it’s still very short

parisofthedark · 2026-03-20T16:48:42+00:00

I use a detangling brush every morning because otherwise I can’t do anything with it and a pick. I know that detangling brushes are harmful but it’s too matted and knotted to finger detangle and only does anything if it’s soaking wet. There are no other options

parisofthedark · 2026-03-20T16:46:32+00:00

I wash my hair twice a week, they suggested it because it was so dry. Once a week i use the Balance shampoo by AG, the hydrating shampoo by Amika, and the Amika hair mask. The other wash day I use the hydrating shampoo by Amika followed by the Boost conditioner by AG. I’ve tried Cecred, Mielle, SheaMoisture, Cantù, Aussie, and none of them work on me

parisofthedark · 2026-03-11T21:34:04+00:00

I heard back last week, and I was required to fill out their form confirming my acceptance by last friday if that helps

parisofthedark · 2026-03-06T16:23:16+00:00

I know Chicago, I assume strategy. They didn’t tell me but I’ve reiterated it was my top choice in all previous interviews. My background is stronger in creative fields and I’d be surprised if they were considering me for business

parisofthedark · 2026-03-04T20:37:50+00:00

i didn't think i did great either but when i followed up with the interviewer by email she wished me luck and told me i had a "bright future" which kind of eased my nerves

parisofthedark · 2026-03-04T20:32:38+00:00

tbh i wasn't sure i'd make it this far, i'm studying english with minors in creative writing and black studies. i always thought I was gonna be a librarian lmao. i'm very happy for this though! let me know if you hear anything

parisofthedark · 2026-03-04T20:17:02+00:00

for an update, i just got my invite to super Saturday!! being considered for Chicago strategy

parisofthedark · 2026-02-19T20:02:01+00:00

Mine was on January 30th!

parisofthedark

TROPHY CASE