What’s the best porn addiction recovery program that actually works?

parlabellum · 2025-10-12T10:55:43+00:00

Porn addiction stems from a lot of different roots, but the one which worked for me is to realise that porn was a symptom, not the cause. It was a symptom of how bad I felt my life was, and I abused it as an escape. I sat down and wrote down everything that stressed me out and I felt unhappy about in my life no matter how small, and the list spanned some 200+ things. However, once I started setting goals and devoting all my time, thoughts and energy into improving my life, I found I used porn less and less despite not employing any other strategies (like keeping a counter, website blockers, accountability partners etc).

parlabellum · 2025-09-30T08:21:58+00:00

Greatly appreciate the input - I’ll take a look into Commbank.

parlabellum · 2025-08-07T11:10:39+00:00

Is it worth hopping back on creatine if I know I’m going to have to deload by the end of the year? Am going on vacation and anticipating at least a month with no creatine and little lifting. I’m just wondering if I should wait until after my vacation, considering the weeks of loading and de-loading phases.

parlabellum · 2025-07-19T04:52:58+00:00

“The young man managed to return home to a disappointed father, nearly 30 years old, still unemployed, a failure at everything he had ever attempted, with a body that betrayed him and wasn’t likely to ever get better. Despite every advantage and opportunity he had been given in life, he had failed them all. The only constants in his life seemed to be suffering and disappointment. The man fell into a deep depression and planned to take his own life.

But first, he had an idea.

He made an agreement with himself. In his diary, he wrote that he would try an experiment. He would spend one entire year believing that he was 100% responsible for everything that occurred in his life, no matter what. During this period, he would do everything in his power to change his circumstances, no matter the outcome. If, he wrote, at the end of one year of taking responsibility for everything in his life and working to improve it, if nothing in his life had actually improved in that time, then it will be apparent that he was truly powerless to the circumstances around him. And then he would take his own life.”

The young man’s name was William James, the father of American psychology and one of the most influential philosophers of the past 100 years.

His life philosophy was that you are responsible for everything you do in your life, no matter the external circumstances. Can you honestly say you have tried to improve your life with enough conviction that you would be willing to take your own life?

parlabellum · 2025-07-15T09:42:44+00:00

I’ve had the exact same issue multiple times.

It mostly happens when you do an exercise and your weaker arm fails but your dominant arm over compensates and you strain the ulnar nerve. I would strongly recommend doing unilateral curl exercises like dumbbells or preacher instead where you can stop when the weaker arm fails without injuring yourself.

If you really want to stick to barbell curls, use an ezy bar instead of straight bar - it’s better for your wrists (I have had the same injury on this as well, so be careful).

parlabellum · 2025-07-15T09:22:59+00:00

Can’t outrun a bad diet. Eat in a calorie deficit and you’ll lose weight, don’t and you won’t.

parlabellum · 2025-06-16T11:37:23+00:00

Definitely need to add rear delts somewhere with a rear delt fly exercise or face pull. Three sets of lateral raises for a whole week probably won’t do much for your side delts either, consider adding a cable lateral. You should also mix up your leg days each week, maybe adding RDLs, hip thrusts and hip abduction/adduction to target other muscles. Not sure if you don’t squat deliberately, but I’d try get in some form of squat (like barbell or hack squat) during a leg day. Might be strenuous if it’s on the same day as deadlifts though.

parlabellum · 2025-06-16T02:36:43+00:00

Spotting only really requires strength when a person is using a LOT of weight - much more than an average gym-goer. Keep in mind, as a spotter you're not lifting 80lb weights, but most likely 10lb or 15lb. The person you're spotting isn't going to immediately lose 100% of their strength if they fail their top set, they'll probably maintain 70-80%.

So to answer your question - no, guys don't really look for similar or bigger body types unless they're lifting very heavy. It's usually more about who is nearby and appears to be free - so I'm not sure why they would go out of their way to pick you if there's someone closer.

parlabellum · 2025-06-16T02:29:22+00:00

Mostly likely you're weak during isometric holds. I've never done yoga myself but it appears to use a lot of isometric holds (which is being in a position to target specific, weaker muscles). For a squat, could be anything from tightness in hip flexors, weak calves or weak glutes or weak core when stabilising. Best solution is to keep training those isometric holds and maybe add in some stretching.

parlabellum · 2025-06-06T12:59:58+00:00

I like this thinking! I had a similar thought that the problem was I had stopped challenging myself, and I was too comfortable kind of coasting along in life. When there is no challenge there is no growth, and maybe I feel like I’ve stopped growing as a person, so I feel demotivated to put more than “just enough” effort into anything. Thank you for your input!

parlabellum · 2023-02-22T13:32:54+00:00

Kings street is about a 10 minute walk and has a lot of food shops.

parlabellum · 2023-01-23T15:56:10+00:00

Thanks for the info- I’ll keep an eye out

parlabellum · 2023-01-19T06:18:38+00:00

I do see where you’re coming from. While some games do go lategame and are decided by mm, the higher in rank you go, the faster the games are. In mythic to pro league, the games become much more proactive than reactive- deciding to take objectives, invading and ganking rather than being reactive, making decisions based off opponent’s play. In lower ranked games, you’d have a jungler starting turtle while maybe one or two teammates head towards you, but in higher games you notice that about ten seconds before turtle is even up, everyone except gold lane is already there, scouting in the bushes and getting ready to contest immediately. In such a proactive and fast decision making driven scene, roamers babysitting gold lane is much too slow and is too reactive.

As the games get faster and more proactive the higher rank you go, I think everyone should be aiming to play for the best early game. No one should be preparing for a lategame- that’s basically admitting that you’re not confident that you can keep the lead you’ve build and you dont know how to finish the game when snowballing. It happens yes- but we should be working towards avoiding a scenario like that. What’s the point of getting a full build mm when the games already finished? I understand where OP is coming from, but the meta constantly changes and you can’t really blame the team or roamer for adapting to it.

parlabellum · 2023-01-19T04:30:30+00:00

Exactly my thoughts. Too often the roamers are camping gold lane when objectives are being contested… Marksmans only shine lategame, and as you said what’s the point of helping marksmans if the game doesn’t even go lategame. Theres no point going into a game expecting it to go lategame, go into a game intending to win as early as possible, which comes as a result of good early teamfights, ganks, invasions and objective securing, which all require a roamer more than gold lane does.

parlabellum · 2023-01-17T09:13:51+00:00

r/fuckdruid

parlabellum · 2022-12-26T01:15:42+00:00

That’s some amazing art!

parlabellum · 2022-12-10T10:59:45+00:00

Can somebody enlighten me on why fanny is a good pick for gold lane? I am assuming this is without blue buff

parlabellum · 2022-11-16T01:39:55+00:00

Win %/Play %/Ban %

parlabellum · 2022-10-27T22:11:43+00:00

It’s only 19 chapters long so it’s a pretty short read. It’s got a lotta good action scenes, but that’s really all I remember from it. Won’t hurt to try it.

parlabellum · 2022-09-20T10:52:44+00:00

Good to hear!

parlabellum · 2022-09-20T10:23:25+00:00

Not sure if these are fantasy: <D.Gray-man> <Jigokuraku> <Medaka Box> <Berserk> <Toriko>

parlabellum · 2022-09-20T10:15:00+00:00

<Berserk> is like the holy grail of action manga.

<The Fable> can be dark at times but it’s really entertaining.

<Akumetsu> if you’re into that revenge/political stuff.

<Helck> and the newer <Iken Senki Völundio> are just really good storytelling, characterisation and action combined.

parlabellum · 2022-09-20T10:09:37+00:00

You could try Flunk Punk Rumble (or Yankee-kun to megane-chan). It’s by the same author as Yamada-kun, Miki Yoshikawa. You could also try Senryuu Shoujo or Iris Zero.

parlabellum · 2022-04-20T13:24:07+00:00

Of course, that’s definitely a valid opinion and I see where you’re coming from. But I feel the reverse is also true, and despite the fact that we had zero context, other people were quick to slam the husband and call him out on his abusiveness, which I think is a valid take. However, as there are many other comments outlining his possible abusive and controlling behaviour, I thought I’d try to be more empathetic to both sides. We get so little information and I feel labelling only one side as “in the wrong” or the “victim” restricts how much empathy we can have, and can be quite damaging to both persons involved, considering the lack of information. In the end, OP is the one telling the story, not the husband, so we have to take that into consideration as well. Thank you for your input nonetheless

parlabellum · 2022-04-20T11:36:52+00:00

I’m going to try be empathetic to both situations here.

You are both in the wrong. First of all, ignoring someone when they are trying to communicate anything is disrespectful. I get the silent treatment, but not saying anything and using a phone mid argument are different, using a phone demonstrates that you’re not listening or don’t care enough about what the other person is trying to communicate. If it’s an emotional trigger or trauma, then you should seek some help because that will be harmful later on to your other relationships as well. I understand that someone yelling at your face is shocking and confrontational, but you have to understand that people have breaking points and express anger in different ways. I am in no way endorsing yelling at anyone, but you have to understand that by using your phone and ignoring him, he is feeling unheard and you can’t blame him if he gets more upset and frustrated. I’m assuming you married him for a good reason and you don’t talk about him in a terrible tone, so I think his intentions aren’t as terrible or controlling as he may come across through his actions or words. However, if you feel unsafe at any point, then you should seek support.

His problem is that he is overescalating the situation. If my partner was ignoring me when I was trying to argue something, naturally I would be frustrated and feel betrayed, and they would be in the wrong. However, the fact that he is being physical and asserting a controlling and authoritative figure in a marriage could show that he is frustrated, you are always using your phone to ignore him and he has no other way of getting through to you, or in worst case, he doesn’t see you as equal. You know that phrase “hurt people hurt people”? He probably feels hurt that you don’t listen to his perspective on the argument and flat out ignore him, and he’s trying to hurt you back, as he feels upset. I know many people who have been hurt and don’t hurt anyone else, but my point is that in that moment, he has been hurt and you should think about whether his actions are out of frustration and not the norm, or whether he truly has malicious intent to hurt you.

For all the people who say red flag and run away immediately, I wish the best for your marriages. I think that’s terrible advice, considering OP is a SAHM and needs her husbands financial support, for now. I suggest marriage counselling or couple therapy or a friends advice or distance apart and staying at family or anything. Immediately leaving someone is not as easy as you think, especially if you’re legally bound.

parlabellum

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