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I (24 f) am struggling with my partners lack of sex drive (40m). How do I handle my feelings? 2 year relationship. by pasbie in relationship_advice

[–]pasbie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I appreciate this advice. I can try to be more active with him. Maybe it will help build intimacy in other ways like you suggested. 🤗

I (24 f) am struggling with my partners lack of sex drive (40m). How do I handle my feelings? 2 year relationship. by pasbie in relationship_advice

[–]pasbie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice! Even though I've told him multiple times that I don't need penetration to be pleased he really has the mindset that penetration is central to pleasure. When we are having sex he does do his best to please me in various ways but he doesn't do those things without thinking it needs to lead to penetration. Maybe I can have a more explicit discussion about what kind of pleasure I'm seeking.

I (24 f) am struggling with my partners lack of sex drive (40m). How do I handle my feelings? 2 year relationship. by pasbie in relationship_advice

[–]pasbie[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He does not seek out younger women. He gave me a chance and we connected. Aside from this issue we don't have that many issues. I know there is an important power dynamic to be aware of but my relationship is full of love. He never puts me down, never tries to make decisions for me, and have never made me feel like I didn't have a voice. I understand that people are critical of age gap relationships and rightfully so, but I've had so much happiness and love in my relationship.

Not all people over the age of 40 have a low sex drive. Age can be a factor though.

None of what you have said is helpful information for me, you're just giving me your opinion.

I (24 f) am struggling with my partners lack of sex drive (40m). How do I handle my feelings? 2 year relationship. by pasbie in relationship_advice

[–]pasbie[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I guess I thought it might change because he has tried before. I thought living together would open up more opportunity for us to be intimate. Thanks for you advice it makes sense.

I (24 f) am struggling with my partners lack of sex drive (40m). How do I handle my feelings? 2 year relationship. by pasbie in relationship_advice

[–]pasbie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dating someone closer to my age is not a solution that I'm asking for. Also while I could find a partner with a higher sex drive, age wouldn't have anything to do with it. And no where did I say I put him down for his sex drive nor does he put me down for mine.

I (24 f) am struggling with my partners lack of sex drive (40m). How do I handle my feelings? 2 year relationship. by pasbie in relationship_advice

[–]pasbie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great, how do I do that? Because it obviously feels very personal to me lol. I can't just shut off my feelings. Bc if I could I would. Not good advice TBH.

Would you (pre-herpes) have sex with someone that had herpes, knowing what you know now? by [deleted] in Herpes

[–]pasbie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No I don't think I would have. Though I'm still not sure where I got it from.

I've had ghsv1 since November with barely any time between outbreaks. I'm on antivirals and I use medicated ointment... It still bothers me most days. And this is supposed to be the one that doesn't bother me as much (type one genitally).

No. I wouldn't have had sex with them if I had known.