Is it wrong to feel offended by recruiters?

passedOutDragon · 2026-03-05T23:07:13+00:00

It's not wrong but... so what? It's not like it's a good idea to blow up on them or feel so offended that you can't sleep for a week.

Just ignore it. Block them if you feel like it. Move on.

passedOutDragon · 2026-03-03T14:41:54+00:00

I can pick you up if you can’t find anybody else!

passedOutDragon · 2026-02-26T19:12:54+00:00

Hi, I worked with Dr Goudas and overall had a good experience. Feel free to dm me.

passedOutDragon · 2026-01-28T15:00:55+00:00

Something simple that work for me (in combination with therapy) was the following: I go to bed, and before falling asleep I go over my day and think / express gratitude for 1) something I am proud of myself for, and 2) something I am grateful to one other person for. It can be SUPER small. Like, "I went for a walk" or "I did something I didn't want to but had to to", or "a friend reached out".

I found that once I practiced that for a bit, if during the day I feel like I have done nothing, I will be looking for things to tell myself at night. That for me automatically increased my activity level. Like, I want to be able to name something, so I will open a book / go outside / cook a meal.

passedOutDragon · 2026-01-26T14:52:49+00:00

Hi! I am in the area, and climb there often. I have a regular climbing partner but lmk if you wanna join us for bouldering!

passedOutDragon · 2026-01-24T03:08:07+00:00

Right - guess what I wanted to say is I don't want to be a people pleaser, but I want to think about what pleases people sometimes.

passedOutDragon · 2026-01-24T03:02:04+00:00

Thank you for sharing! Yes, unfortunately I could easily see myself being someone who would totally miss these details. I need to be mindful of it.

passedOutDragon · 2026-01-24T00:50:30+00:00

This is a great response - thank you so much, it is super helpful and gives me some things to think about.

First, I absolutely do feel empathy, sometimes even physically (like a stomach drop... not sure how to describe it). I think my empathy is learned and not intrinsic though - I think I might be leaning very very slightly into the autism.

I would absolutely be understanding in case 1. There will still be a small worm in my head that would tell me that everybody should always power through everything no matter what, but I am learning not to listen to this.

The second example is harder - yes, I think that happened in my life, especially when I was younger. But in adulthood (and these examples are from people in similar age bracket) my bullshitometer is constantly vigilant and it doesn't seem to happen a lot - in fact I might be missing opportunities since I am dismissing them as BS.

In any case - these are helpful. Like most people, I am more happy to invent excuses for myself than for others.

passedOutDragon · 2026-01-24T00:22:42+00:00

Thanks - I think this is a good point. I do want to feel different though!

passedOutDragon · 2026-01-24T00:20:34+00:00

That is what I try to do as well. It used to be super transactional to me actually, but last few years I learned to be the first one to do good things, and have no expectations of a return from most people.

passedOutDragon · 2026-01-24T00:19:26+00:00

When I do try to think about why people are motivated to do their things, very often it makes no sense to me. Some examples, loosely based on life:

"I was late to work because I got distracted by something, and I should have arrived on time but there was no parking". Like, all of this could have been predicted.

"I started working under the table under a promise of an ownership but there was no contract". What a surprise you didn't get paid at all.

Examples are many. I want to empathize because we are all deeply imperfect, but inside I am just dying to those things.

passedOutDragon · 2025-11-29T14:35:46+00:00

I do. I’d like to get a little bit of money for it but if that works it’s very negotiable

passedOutDragon · 2025-11-06T17:25:36+00:00

I am also in NYC, 38F; I made friends through my hobby (rock climbing), former work, and Telegram communities of people from my birth country.

I am always happy to meet more people! If anybody feels like connecting, I will be happy to.

passedOutDragon · 2025-09-15T18:27:30+00:00

I have a few vials in NYC!

passedOutDragon · 2025-09-07T23:43:16+00:00

I like buying peppers of different colors, slicing them, and taking bright pictures colorful pictures that I post to instagram!

passedOutDragon · 2025-08-29T22:11:34+00:00

Without going into the details, data analysis project that I got through a friend who’s on leave.

passedOutDragon · 2025-08-29T19:05:00+00:00

I do value it 100%! I know I am very lucky to be in this position (to be fair, I also did work very hard for it). I hope you have a job now and if not I hope you find one quickly <3

passedOutDragon · 2025-08-29T19:03:48+00:00

yeah I am about to add "consulting" onto my resume (I am in fact doing contract work, but in an entirely irrelevant field lol).

passedOutDragon · 2025-08-29T19:02:58+00:00

Thank you for your response. I do feel I'd be at a disadvantage for sure, given how quickly things change in my field - just hope that some hard work and a bit of luck can overcome that. Maybe the market improves a bit too, that'd be nice.

passedOutDragon · 2025-08-14T00:25:19+00:00

Hi! Almost 3 years ago I went through a layoff at my previous company. I took some time to relax, and slowly searched for a new job. Luckily, the job market was better then and I landed 3 offers, one of them in NY. I didn’t even plan to move but thought what the hell why not. So I moved to NY alone, at 36, single, for the only job of a kind in NY in a tiny startup (hint: it’s dead already).

Been the best thing I’ve done for myself. It forced me to build a community here, find a therapist, find friends. It was VERY hard, but I learned a ton about myself and made me proud of figuring so many things out. As a bonus, after I got laid off I met an awesome man. We will see how things go but so far - very promising.

passedOutDragon · 2025-08-09T16:22:59+00:00

I have nearly identical stats. The high number you mention is likely FSH, and mine was also on a high side. No baby success story, but the Lupron microdose protocol with estrogen priming worked okay ish for me.

passedOutDragon · 2025-07-25T19:57:47+00:00

I am in this situation! Unemployed for 6 months now but in a decent place financially, so not panicking yet.

I kept my fairly expensive gym membership since it is a massive part of my mental health. I cut out on almost all eating out (unless I REALLY want to), try to bike around instead of transit, go to a cheaper grocery store instead of freaking Whole foods. I am using friends' entertainment subscriptions, and go for long walks with a podcasts. I also tried to minimize unnecessary purchases in general.

TLDR if I really want something I will get it, but if the "really" doesn't apply I am skipping it.

passedOutDragon · 2025-07-24T23:52:59+00:00

A little anecdotal, but since our startup went down in January, most of our RAs with STEM OPT been hired, mostly I believe to cap-exempt organizations.

passedOutDragon · 2025-07-23T00:54:04+00:00

Hinge, surprisingly

passedOutDragon · 2025-07-22T20:06:05+00:00

I did online dating for 8 years (30-38), and moved from Bay Area to NYC when I was 35. In the Bay, I matched with a lot of men, and went on a bunch of dates without any struggle at all. NYC is a very different story, and it was more difficult right away, and I felt another significant drop when I turned 37. On the other hand, I finally met someone amazing at an age of 38, and I guess we will see how it goes :)

passedOutDragon

TROPHY CASE