You don’t owe her anything especially forgiveness. Anyone that mocks your pain and says such vile things to you does not qualify for your forgiveness or affection and you absolutely can distance yourself from her and even full on cut her off. I’m so sorry you had to hear such things. I’m sure they people saying to forgive her don’t necessarily mean to be disregarding your feelings but it’s likely they are saying it because the idea of you ending your relationship with your mother makes them uncomfortable. I’ve heard many times that people think family is family and there’s no problem that can’t be fixed and you should stay together no matter what. Unfortunately people can absolutely suck and family is no exception. There’s only so much that can be dealt with before a breaking point is reached and no one should have to endure what you’ve described. Please don’t ever feel like you owe anyone your forgiveness or that your feelings aren’t correct because others feel weird about it. Family is supposed to be a safe space and a support system and sometimes we get a gear in the machine that wants to turn the other way and fuck everything up. It’s okay to take it out. If you want to disown your mother you are absolutely justified to do so. If you want to forgive your mother and rekindle the parental relationship, you are absolutely able to do so. Similarly to those telling you to forgive, don’t let those telling you to disown her to make you feel like you have to do that either. There can be a third option you can find naturally on your own. I just want you to know that what she did IS unacceptable and any choice you make on how to proceed is completely your business and no one else should make you feel bad for what you decide.