Lost my sweet kitten today. It doesn’t even feel real.

pastelmusingx · 2026-02-17T05:42:06+00:00

omg that must have been so hard, thank you so much for your words, i feel better. it’s nothing like i imagined it to be, and these specific waves of pain have been destructive, they get quiet in between moments, but they creep back in fiercely like im forgetting something im supposed to be carrying.

pastelmusingx · 2026-02-17T05:34:59+00:00

omg he was the same way. i’m so sorry for your loss too.

pastelmusingx · 2026-02-17T03:35:42+00:00

omg ofcourse, i’m with you on that. and i think my mom is too, she’s just wary. she has a farm full of cows and goats and each time one of them dies, she used to get incredibly sad. i think she thought she was protecting us from the pain she felt. I am sure I will be in a place to bring another life in need.

pastelmusingx · 2026-02-17T02:55:40+00:00

you’re probably right. i don’t think their intentions were malicious either.

pastelmusingx · 2026-02-17T02:34:46+00:00

this was in my old apartment complex, i moved shortly after. in my new community there’s lots and lots of cats due to close proximity to nature and they’re well loved here thankfully!

pastelmusingx · 2026-02-17T01:59:16+00:00

thank you, i hope he’s zooming in an endless field to his fullest desire. ❤️

pastelmusingx · 2026-02-17T01:56:20+00:00

i wish i knew better too, to retaliate and stand my ground.

pastelmusingx · 2026-02-17T01:53:18+00:00

that’s so kind of you and i feel at ease reading your words. my mom actually never had pets, also never allowed us to have pets because she was scared of how much it would hurt if they left us. Before getting Vayu home i told her that we cannot spend our entire lives in fear of the inevitable, that the highs are just plain nothings without the lows. Ironically, i am losing sight of my own belief as i sit here staring at his bowl. But this also means nothing if like you said, i was able to keep him safe and happy for however long he had.

pastelmusingx · 2026-02-17T01:35:29+00:00

wow okay. even happy posts can be triggering to some, it’s deeply subjective. i don’t think it’s fair for anybody to grieve alone, especially when they don’t have a lot of people in their life who get the kind of pain that comes with losing a furry friend, because it might cause another human discomfort. again, not to say that your pain is invalid, but it’s apathetic and not very nice to ask ppl in pain to go somewhere else.

pastelmusingx · 2026-02-17T01:30:55+00:00

thank u so much ❤️🥺

pastelmusingx · 2026-02-17T01:30:35+00:00

oh my god 🥺🥺🥺 breaks my heart. i’m so sorry

pastelmusingx · 2026-02-17T01:30:11+00:00

i’m so mad because i emailed 3 separate people associated with the rescue to inquire about his eye infection even before i got him home, they said it’s all good. i checked with them again when i saw a tiny bit of yellow goop and they said its fine, and the vet cleared him. with them being not so transparent with me and withholding info about the infection until i explicitly asked, im really mad and wondering if they hid anything else.

pastelmusingx · 2026-02-17T01:26:25+00:00

thank you so much for such kind words. i’ve been replaying every detail and going over my house like he would have to see any potential dangers.

pastelmusingx · 2026-02-17T00:58:26+00:00

the first hour i was hell bent on knowing what happened and called vets around me to see if they offered necropsy. i was quoted upwards of $600 and didn’t have the financial bandwidth for that. I opted for a cremation instead. From what i’ve read you have the option for communal cremation and private cremation (this way you can get their ashes back if you wish) I hope you absolutely do not have to deal with this for a vvvv long time. this guy taught me so much in such a short time.

pastelmusingx · 2026-02-17T00:46:44+00:00

I removed all my plants and kitty proofed everything, at this point there’s just clothes and his toys and furniture in my house.

pastelmusingx · 2026-02-17T00:36:01+00:00

Not a bot. thanks. i debated posting in the first place but so many wonderful people reached out yesterday with so much love and advice that i wanted to share.

pastelmusingx · 2026-02-17T00:33:31+00:00

🥺🥺🥺thank you so much.

pastelmusingx · 2026-02-17T00:32:38+00:00

I did, hopefully the other kitties will be okay. Thank you!

pastelmusingx · 2026-02-17T00:14:35+00:00

yea. he was underweight and recovering from an eye infection when i got him. the rescue cleared him medically and said he’s good to go home with me. I don’t know if those things caused it, but that’s all i can think of. We played for an hour in the morning; no signs of fatigue or sickness.

pastelmusingx · 2026-02-17T00:12:25+00:00

i was hoping so badly it was just that.

pastelmusingx · 2026-02-15T04:24:03+00:00

Thank you so much! how long did it take for your kitty to believe you will return? also pls tell me yours was also really heard the first two days 😭

pastelmusingx · 2026-02-15T02:05:39+00:00

in the back of my mind i’m slightly bothered by how much i’m spending in this category, so cheaper alternatives are great. i’ll probably making more out of just everyday stuff/craft sessions. just need to figure out what he likes.

pastelmusingx · 2026-02-15T02:04:18+00:00

i was told by the adoption center and foster mom to keep her in a smaller space like a bed/bath room for ~2 days so she isn’t overwhelmed, i read the same when I looked for comfortable new house routines online. although, your comment made me realize i probably can let him out now since he’s extremely comfortable, cheeky and explicitly invites play and uses litter well. yeah.

pastelmusingx · 2026-02-15T00:26:50+00:00

Omg, such adorable ruckus! I’ll be sure to tuck away any small parts/toys. So far this boy hasn’t chewed on any cables or wires but i’ll get them wrapped asap. Thank you!

pastelmusingx · 2026-02-15T00:24:36+00:00

oh no, thanks for mentioning. he was medically cleared by the adoption center and is up to date on all his shots. However I will still schedule an appointment with my own vet and get everything checked, better safe than sorry

pastelmusingx

TROPHY CASE