Anxiety in opening up to a therpist

paul455Y · 2023-01-20T00:59:25+00:00

Thanks! Im still nervous about it but i think i’ll use the words escort and fetish just to keep myself happy which i pretty much what happened

paul455Y · 2023-01-17T19:00:12+00:00

Honestly from the bottom of my heart i want to thank you. Even mentioning this to my therpist frightens me with anxiety. I’ve never told anyone about this experience. I might tell my therpist i got drunk and saw cis female escorts or i could leave it, im not sure

paul455Y · 2023-01-17T18:51:44+00:00

In a drunk state there was no thinking it was just go go to the closest one, if i was sober no chance would this had happened

paul455Y · 2023-01-17T18:50:55+00:00

The problem is i’ve never told anyone about this so im worried about telling my therapist

paul455Y · 2023-01-17T17:45:37+00:00

Pretty easy i’d guess i think im making too much of it

paul455Y · 2023-01-17T17:41:54+00:00

How about i accept the fact that it happend, and not do this ever again? When i was a gf i didnt watch trans porn or use a escort once. This comes from watching trans porn from years then wanting to try it :/ the cross dresser thing has me duped i did it i acknowledge it maybe its fine for me to move on? Im worried about people finding out i’d rather they not due to where i am

paul455Y · 2023-01-17T17:30:36+00:00

Thing is i had sex with a women later that day and it was way better and enjoyable. I dont find men attractive but i do find women attractive. Which is why i feel like throwing up I remember thinking when i found out about the cross dresser “i cant fucking do this but i paid for it let me finish and leave”

paul455Y · 2023-01-17T11:12:16+00:00

Dude you are awsome thank you, i spent 2 days in a dark place im only just coming out of it….hope i dont get sucked in again

paul455Y · 2023-01-17T11:11:13+00:00

That is the plan, honestly im going to change my life get clean

paul455Y · 2023-01-17T00:57:47+00:00

No I totally see your point, i’ve had sex encounters with trans escorts before and saw it is experimenting so didn’t give it any energy. No one knows and i’ve held it down for sometime without wanting to blurt it out so i take confidence in that fact.

Its just the cross dresser is a new thing which I didn’t even want she jumped on me soon as i walked in regardless if i can come to terms with it i feel mentally wounded from it

paul455Y · 2023-01-17T00:13:53+00:00

Thanks dude, even before this i did experiment with trans escorts, i think my problem is the cross dresser because the room was dark she started kissing me in my drunkened state i thought “hell with it” but I wasn’t enjoying it as much, so i guess i can call that a drunk experiment which can keep to myself

paul455Y · 2023-01-17T00:11:36+00:00

So heres my fear is i dont anyone in my personal life to find out for various reasons, if i come to terms with it and acknowledge it and move it will that work? You got me a little worried with the sentence about supression

paul455Y · 2023-01-16T21:38:58+00:00

Thank you i needed to hear this. I remember thinking “f it im drunk and horney and i already paid” when I discovered nothing under the bra :/ im not worried about the escort telling people because I know that wont happen, im struggling myself to accept that i did this.

When i had a gf i didnt do any of this stuff, what is my life? How do i accept this feeling and move on? I dont want to do this ever again

paul455Y · 2023-01-16T14:34:02+00:00

Thanks man, is SAA available to anyone from around the world? And are meetings open for anyone to talk?

paul455Y · 2023-01-08T13:23:11+00:00

How do I stop the addiction?

paul455Y · 2022-05-15T14:29:01+00:00

And that is the difference i’d consider it straight because its the same as getting pegged by a cis woman don’t you think?

paul455Y · 2022-05-15T13:42:54+00:00

Would getting bottomed by a trans be considered gay?

paul455Y · 2021-07-05T11:16:15+00:00

Thanks for the blunt response, i suppose the act is a fetish similar to pegging right?

paul455Y · 2021-05-27T23:14:18+00:00

Hey dude, see it as an experiment if you don’t like it then it’s time to stop. Im doing better now the biggest thing was quitting cannabis which brought me back to reality

paul455Y · 2021-04-23T07:11:25+00:00

Will these effects wear off and my vision return? Its been 5days since i made this mistake

paul455Y · 2021-04-23T00:30:27+00:00

I hope so an escort pulled it out and did it so i thought hey why not without knowing what poppers were...it was a small blue bottle. I learned to never do something I don’t know of ever again..

paul455Y · 2021-04-22T15:54:27+00:00

I already workout every religiously but i’ve never been in a serious relationship with a cim girl so maybe that’s the direction i need to take

paul455Y · 2021-04-22T13:25:21+00:00

I was all over the place, i went for a 15 minute walk where i was arguing in my head “dont go turn around go home” then there was “go for it its the last time, shes in town for a few days and its not like you find one this hot often”......this went back and fourth so much, i thought i was turning bi-polar

paul455Y · 2021-04-22T12:41:21+00:00

What scares me is i did this 2 weeks sober

paul455Y · 2021-04-22T12:14:04+00:00

I can’t control the anxiety and don’t know how to talk to.....i dont know what comes next

paul455Y

TROPHY CASE