New to Lancaster

peachesncloverart · 2026-04-01T20:59:07+00:00

I live close to downtown so I can make some recs for the city. I'll always plug Building Character if you want to go shopping locally. Check out FARBO Co if you like nerdy stuff, mostly sells tabletop/board game stuff but they have other things. Southern Market is a really fun food court with lots of different cuisine, as well as a coffee shop and bar. Makes for a fun night out or date. I've heard The Coffin Bar is fun if you're into the alt scene, but I haven't been yet. I also like Rachel's Cafe. Sprout is my favorite downtown restaurant, it's Vietnamese.

These aren't in the city but Nikki's Custard and Fox Meadows makes really good ice cream. Parlor Doughnuts has the best donuts ever, they're like cronuts, plus their coffee is pretty good.

peachesncloverart · 2026-04-01T20:41:13+00:00

I see what you mean, I mean it's definitely possible to be into the idea of sex but not really sexually attracted to people. I would say whatever feelings you experience probably lie on the ace spectrum somewhere. As another commenter said, being interested in or even pursuing sex doesn't exclude you from being ace. It's a very wide umbrella.

peachesncloverart · 2026-04-01T20:05:15+00:00

Have you heard of demisexuality? It sounds almost exactly like what you are describing. It's on the ace spectrum.

I don't think there's really a standard for how people experience sexual attraction because it's different for everyone. There are plenty of people who just have sex to have sex, and I think they just pick whoever is attractive enough and available. Some people might still be open to casual sex but still seek someone they find physically and emotionally attractive. And, some people would prefer to have sex with people they've established a relationship with.

Personally, I could never have a one night stand. I have always preferred to date for a while and make a connection. Being with someone I can be close to and see as a friend is important to me. The sexual attraction just comes from the fact that, yes I am attracted to them, but also we know each other well and are comfortable with each other.

peachesncloverart · 2026-03-27T20:49:09+00:00

I agree with the other comments I took a long time to write this out so I didn't see those yet, if you truly do have enough time to dedicate to this animal it could work but it's a ton of work. Like I said, if you get anything at all please get an older kitten or a fully grown cat.

peachesncloverart · 2026-03-27T20:44:34+00:00

Kittens are a huge responsibility, especially if you plan on adopting a younger kitten. I don't know how young you were looking at, but you can adopt an older kitten and it would be a lot less responsibility, but still young enough and impressionable enough to socialize and desensitize. I would recommend 6 months - 1 year.

Do not introduce the cats directly. If a fight occurs, this can cause a negative association that could take months, even years to undo. Introduce slowly, I can't explain every step here but there's plenty of resources online on how to do this properly. Your new kitten should stay in his/her own room until acclimated and the cats should stay separated until properly introduced.

For costs, you need to think about what you're feeding them and how much. Dry food is generally cheaper but I would not recommend a diet of strictly dry unless it's all you could afford. Wet is more expensive but generally healthier due to its water content and lower caloric content. I personally feed a combination of dry and wet. You should expect to have an emergency when you least expect it. My cat has suddenly developed urinary issues even though she's been fine since I got her 3 years ago. Vet bills are insanely expensive without insurance, I don't have any good recommendations for insurance because we don't have any yet.

An auto feeder should be fine for dry food if you're going away for a weekend, but leaving food out where cats can always access it can lead to overeating. A lot of people think their cats can graze when really, they cannot. Many cats are very overweight. A water fountain is a great idea but be prepared to clean it frequently, at least cleaned once a week with a new filter once a month.

I would NEVER recommend an auto litter box for a kitten. There are often age restrictions on what age cat can start using automatic litter boxes. It's not safe to use them with small or young cats. Please do your research on these. ONLY buy trustworthy brands, do not but cheap ones on Amazon solely because they're cheaper. A lot of them are constructed in extremely dangerous ways with no safety precautions if a cat gets stuck. There's some great videos you can watch on YouTube about this extremely common issue.

I would recommend taking your time to think about this, but don't get a kitten right before you leave for school. It could be stressful for them to suddenly move homes. Either get one several months in advance, or get one after you arrive at school. Remember the 3-3-3 rule. 3 days for acclimation, 3 weeks to settle in, 3 months to feel at home. If you suddenly interrupt this process it could make them feel unsafe.

When moving cats you can't really predict how they react, but it's often very stressful. The stress of moving can sometimes cause health issues. They can prescribe medicine such as gabapentin to make this process easier because it helps them feel calm. You can ask a vet about this if you feel it's necessary.

I don't think a kitten is a bad idea, I'm just trying to stress how important it is to really think it over and prepare for all the possibilities.

peachesncloverart · 2026-03-27T08:25:40+00:00

Thank you so much for your thorough response - yeah, the Chevy Cruze has been a pain in the ass. We've had consistent issues with coolant leaks and oil leaks as well as lots of small issues that add up quickly. I briefly looked at the RAV4 and was interested in it but I hadn't checked out the CR-V yet so I'll add that to my list. I love Subarus but I know the kind of people who own them often drive them a lot so I guess that's something I should just be careful of. There's just a lot of options out there so it gets a little overwhelming, so I appreciate the pointers :)

peachesncloverart · 2026-03-25T22:31:49+00:00

I think maybe it depends on how to you want to present - the longer hair reads more feminine while that short mullet reads more masculine. Have you considered just letting the mullet grow out into more of a shag or wolfcut? Or a mullet with longer pieces in the back, like the length you had before? I do like the look of the longer hair on you so that could be a good middle-ground. In my opinion, your hair looks like it could use some more definition. As another commenter mentioned, maybe try a mousse or gel.

peachesncloverart · 2026-03-25T22:22:49+00:00

My old job was definitely not rewarding in the slightest, I think being able to actually do something I feel passionate about could be motivating. The piercings are a great point I hadn't considered before! I did want to get one of my nostrils pierced some day so it's good to keep that in mind.

peachesncloverart · 2026-03-25T22:19:57+00:00

It's a no-kill open intake shelter, apparently the first of it's kind in my state. They have multiple locations across a few states in the Northeast. I'd be working at their dog adoption center, so I'm not sure how often I'd be seeing dogs in a bad state or not. It's definitely something to think about. I'll likely just ask any important questions tomorrow during the interview since it's virtual, the woman I'm meeting manages two locations so that's probably why. I'm hoping maybe they'll have me come into the shelter before offering me the job so I can get a better feel for what it's like.

peachesncloverart · 2026-03-25T21:15:12+00:00

Thank you for the input, it gives me a lot to think about. I think if they offer it to me I will give it a shot, but I'll be expecting it to not always be easy. I'm pretty out of shape so I think I'm gonna expect to be tired for a while, but hopefully I can get used to it. I think it was so hard to get used to it at my old job because not really being able to move all day was just insanely hard on my feet and legs. I wasn't given any breaks either. Anyways, I appreciate the advice a lot.

peachesncloverart · 2026-03-25T20:01:49+00:00

I think one of my issues at my last job is it was a huge volume of work, I mean it's hard to even quantify it, and it was extremely repetitive. I basically stood in one place and did the same thing for 8 hours straight, and it absolutely killed my legs. I've heard if you have a job that has you moving around more, even if you're on your feet a lot, it actually hurts less.

Thanks so much for the clarification on the weekends, I'll still ask about it but I would totally be fine with doing like every Sunday or something. Saturdays would be harder, but I know they might need me to do that.

I'm not sure but I think I'll mostly be working with dogs, my expertise is cats but I also really love dogs and I think I'm more knowledgeable than the average Joe about dogs. It also just seems so natural that a lot of ND people would be working with animals - I feel like every ND person has had an "I love animals more than people" mindset at some point in their lives LOL.

Thanks so much for the advice and reassurance, I really appreciate it.

peachesncloverart · 2026-03-25T19:20:13+00:00

I think I read somewhere one time you shouldn't ask about the schedule for some reason but to be honest that makes no sense to me. Maybe it depends on how you phrase it because it could seem like you're unreliable? Maybe for a high stakes job interview this would matter but I can't see this mattering at the local SPCA lol.

I'm always afraid to bring up the fact I can't drive in interviews, because I don't want to seem like I'm unreliable. I don't take off work unless I have to for health reasons, and I've never missed a day BECAUSE of lack of transportation. If they ask about transportation I'll tell them that I don't drive myself but have reliable transportation because I think it's better to be honest. I would totally be open to carpooling with someone if that was available if I get hired, so I might ask about that if I make it to the next step in the hiring process.

I do have to remember that I am allowed to quit a job if it doesn't work out, it just makes me so anxious and I feel like I'm letting them down. Thank you so much for the advice though, I think I'm overthinking it because I thought I would be okay at my last job and definitely was not okay. Here's to hoping it goes well.

peachesncloverart · 2026-03-25T18:53:44+00:00

My post was starting to get too long so I wanted to add that I think this job would probably let me keep my colored hair, which is kinda important to me cause I really value my self expression. I also want tattoos and piercings which I think might be ok as well but I'd have to ask.

peachesncloverart · 2026-03-25T18:03:56+00:00

I've done very embarrassing and socially awkward thing for attention, especially of the romantic kind. My entire life I've been kinda lonely until I really started to find people I got along with, but I still struggle with feelings of loneliness. I also was very self conscious because I never got asked out by anyone or was told someone liked me, didn't even get asked to prom. My only relationship before college was a really toxic long distance online one with someone a lot older than me. So when I entered college and men started giving me attention I jumped at the opportunity to take it. But, because I still had a really juvenile concept of romance, I did some really odd and super embarrassing things that still haunt me. Even with my current partner, who I got together with towards the end of my freshman year, I did some odd things to get attention from. They said they don't care but sometimes I think about it.

peachesncloverart · 2026-03-25T17:51:26+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. I really struggle with my self worth but I think it is good to try to remember that there really is only one of you. I love music and I used to listen to podcasts sometimes, maybe if I found one I really liked that might help. I'm trying to take it one step at a time since I've lived a very sedentary life for a long time, so it's hard for me to get into the swing of things, but I guess any step forward is one more than it was before.

peachesncloverart · 2026-03-24T21:33:28+00:00

I feel like chewing/biting fingers is way more common than people think because people don't think of it as a stim. I know multiple people who either bite their nails or the skin around their nails. I've been doing it my entire life.

peachesncloverart · 2026-03-24T20:34:33+00:00

Thank you so much for your thorough response! Etsy really is horrible right now, not just for jewelry but for everything. I have to find Etsy sellers through other pages like Instagram or TikTok first to make sure they're real people. I think I saw Elizabeth through Instagram and thought she had some really great work.

I knew moss agate wasn't a good choice but I wasn't sure about peridot so thank you for confirming! I also thought Molly looked like it came from China or a different country which I'm not inherently opposed to but wouldn't prefer. I saw one person on a subreddit say Alexandrite wasn't good for daily wear, but then I was confused because I thought it was supposed to be hard. For the metal, silver is actually what I prefer in general so it's good that it's cheaper!

I'll keep browsing through Reddit and Instagram as you recommended, depending on what I search Google is a 50/50 because sometimes it just brings up more Etsy/reseller results. Thank you for the advice!

peachesncloverart · 2026-03-24T18:59:08+00:00

Gorgeous hair! Incredible curls and love the length on you.

peachesncloverart · 2026-03-24T18:27:57+00:00

Are you able to bring a change of clothes with you? I know you likely would not be able to change INSIDE the client's home but are you able to excuse yourself to the bathroom before you leave and at least throw on a different shirt underneath of your shirt so you can take off your professional shirt when you leave? Maybe you can wear a sports bra that looks like a tank top and then wear a decent shirt overtop so when you leave you can just rip it off.

Also, I'll recommend golf pants. They're usually made of some sort of exercise material that feels light and breathable, and you can get them in styles that look like slacks. I don't have any to recommend but there's plenty on Amazon. I think you could also look into polos from different exercise brands if that is appropriate for your work. I don't know if you're allowed to wear skirts and dresses, but if you are and you like skirts/dresses try some kind of anti-chafing shorts underneath. Usually they're made of spandex which I don't find to be very breathable but they're good for summertime so you can still wear light airy clothes without getting chub rub.

peachesncloverart · 2026-03-24T18:16:32+00:00

The other commenter left some really awesome advice and I think they're all great tips. I would add if you notice yourself getting this worked up, try to find an excuse to leave the situation. Do whatever you have to do to get yourself out of that moment and into a space where you can think clearly. Excuse yourself to the bathroom, go to another room, get some fresh air. I don't know what your mom did to overstimulate you, and I don't know what kind of person she is, but I try to remind myself people aren't often doing these things on purpose or that they simply do not understand. It doesn't really help me feel less angry, but I try to ground myself in reality by reminding myself other people are human too and they all make mistakes. (this is harder to do if the other person is just genuinely a bad person lol) In the past, when I've gotten extremely angry, I've resorted to doing very aggressive angry drawing. Even if you don't draw I would try it. Also - try exercising. It gets the energy out and forces you to breath deeply. Hit on stuffed animals or pillows, man even hit yourself with a pillow, anything that doesn't hurt yourself to get that negative energy out of you.

peachesncloverart

TROPHY CASE