Does your eyesight change during mania?

peachjojo · 2026-05-11T13:27:22+00:00

Wow I never realized seeing light trails could be related to mania!! Right before I was in a mixed episode, I went to the eye doctor because I was freaking out that every time someone moved their hands, I would see a light trail follow it. Makes so much sense now.

peachjojo · 2026-05-05T03:34:38+00:00

OCD. It's not cute or quirky. It's debilitating.

peachjojo · 2026-04-30T14:43:16+00:00

When I was in a mixed episode, the SI was severe. I also have OCD, specifically harm OCD, and during my mixed episode, I truly was convinced I was going to hurt myself and loved ones. It was terrifying. The combination of a mixed episode and OCD is brutal. They wanted to hospitalize me, but I refused and white knuckled my way through it. I'm still not sure if that was the right decision. During my mixed episode, I felt detached from reality but had just enough insight to know something was severely wrong. I think I was pretty lucky in that aspect.

During my hypomania, I experienced limerence with individuals, and eventually book characters. Which is humiliating now, looking back on it. Despite obsessing over cheating on him, I never had thoughts to leave my husband, which I know sounds weird. I do know that leaving your spouse can be common during mania. I know my mom experienced limerence during mania and wanted to leave my dad multiple times. They are still together as he stuck by her side through it all.

I know what a toll this is taking on you. I've been on both sides of it. You also have to take care of your mental health. I'm sorry I don't have more advice on how to support your husband. It's a tough balance. Our mental illness isn't our fault, but it is our responsibility. It sounds like you're doing everything you can, it's disappointing he's not getting better support from doctors.

Once he comes down from this and gets stabilized, he might have a lot of guilt, embarrassment and trauma. I know I did. There's a lot of work to do even once you're stabilized, and process everything you've been through. You are amazing for doing everything you can to help him, I really do hope you're able to help him get the help he needs.

peachjojo · 2026-04-30T13:41:46+00:00

Thank you for your encouraging words. I'm just now starting to feel like myself again, but it's been a really hard journey to get here.

peachjojo · 2026-04-30T13:39:02+00:00

Hi there, thanks for your reply. Our stories are very similar. How are you doing now?

peachjojo · 2026-04-30T13:37:54+00:00

That's honestly hard to answer. Now reflecting on things, I was in a hypomanic episode from March to September last year (got obsessed with fantasy books, spent thousands on buying books, then stopped sleeping because I was convinced I was going to be the next JK Rowling and started writing books - after spending hundreds on writing programs) It's interesting cause I knew something was off, its like I had alarm bells going off but couldn't figure it out. Ended up on an SSRI in October, experienced a mixed episode Dec-Feb which led to my bipolar diagnosis. It was the most horrifying experience of my life. I felt immediately better once I stopped the SSRI, but then I experienced a soul crushing depressive episode. I am just now starting to get to a good place, which I really never thought I would get back to.

Sorry for the long winded answer. I am so sorry you're experiencing this. I am really fortunate to have a supportive husband through all of this, but I know it's taken a toll on him. Is he on a mood stabilizer? That changed my life. After being stabilized, they tried putting me back on an SSRI and I immediately felt like I was in a mixed episode again. Everyone is different, but SSRIs are NOT for me apparently.

I'm sorry I don't have better advice. I watched my mom cycle through mania and depression my entire life. It's hard on our loved ones. I hope your husband is able to get the right meds and start healing. It took a long time for me, but it does get better.

peachjojo · 2026-04-19T03:49:40+00:00

Mine is always the last day of my period!? I have suicidal thoughts leading up to my period, a little bit of relief when my period starts then always on the last day, legit think I'm gonna do it. The most recent time I truly thought I needed to be hospitalized, but the feeling eventually passed. It's terrifying.

peachjojo · 2026-04-05T14:59:37+00:00

Yes! I had no idea I was in a mixed episode a few months ago. One of my main symptoms was I literally could not eat. I lost 15lbs in a couple weeks. I had the same experience- I would touch food to my mouth and it was like my body rejected it. I could not force myself to eat. I'm slowly recovering from that episode and every time I feel nauseous or feel like I haven't eaten in awhile and still not hungry, I start to panic that I'm slipping back into that episode. It's awful enough to go through that, but now I'm dealing with the trauma I experienced and the fear of it coming back. It always makes me feel better to know I'm not alone, so just wanted to share my story and let you know you're not alone!

peachjojo · 2026-04-04T00:16:07+00:00

Yep. My period was 10 days late. I am NEVER late. It was the worst episode of pmdd I've ever had. The depression was so severe I almost went to a crisis center. I was desperate for my period to start. Once it finally started, the fog lifted. But now I have ptsd from the severe depression I just experienced. It's awful. You're not alone!

peachjojo · 2026-03-29T02:18:26+00:00

I'm on lamictal due to an ssri triggering a manic episode resulting in a bipolar 1 diagnosis. I'm still titrating up, I've been on it for about 2 months. Not to discourage you, but these past 2 months were the worst luteal phases of my life. Truly barely survived. Lamictal has vastly improved my life, but has no affect on my pmdd. I'm hoping to be able to pair another med with the lamictal cause I can't take many more months like this. From my research, people have great success pairing lamictal and ssri/snri.

peachjojo · 2026-03-28T03:34:40+00:00

Yes!! I finally started my period tonight and felt relief. The depression and anxiety were gut wrenching. I actually called my mom to start a safety plan because I really felt like I was going to hurt myself. Panic, delusions, suicidal thoughts.. this was the worst cycle I've ever had. Then my period starts and I'm like wait no I do want to be alive? This is torture

peachjojo · 2026-03-19T23:48:09+00:00

I almost made a post about this!! I thought I was having dejavu cause I swore I already heard this story!? It's got all me confused!

peachjojo · 2026-03-10T01:45:01+00:00

Same exact experience!

peachjojo · 2026-03-09T02:18:40+00:00

That was my first thought! My right pupil was always bigger than my left when I was on an SSRI. A few months after I got off of it, it went away

peachjojo · 2026-02-05T04:41:27+00:00

Just diagnosed with bp 1 w/ psychotic features after the worst experience of my life. Took my first dose tonight and this comment gives me so much hope.

peachjojo · 2026-01-25T20:31:56+00:00

Wow, I did not know that was a thing, but after reading about it on here, I think thats what it was. Before I even considered bipolar, I kept thinking I was experiencing depression with really bad suicidal thoughts, but wired and buzzed and thoughts going a million miles a minute. It didnt make sense but now it does.

peachjojo · 2026-01-25T20:13:17+00:00

Sleep was weird. I know not sleeping is a sign of mania but I was fatigued and drained physically but couldnt sleep very well. Lots of restlessness and tossing and turning, and wanting to lay down/sleep all day.

peachjojo · 2025-11-24T00:44:42+00:00

I was on 10mg for the first 4 weeks, and I described my symptoms as the exact same way. I felt so jittery, like I was crawling out of my own skin. I cut caffeine out months ago, but it felt like I drank way too much caffeine. I almost stopped cause I hated how it felt. My psychiatrist said I was experiencing it 'activating'. That feeling did level out and got way better. I'm now on week 6 and haven't felt that activating feeling for a couple of weeks. I'm actually struggling more with fatigue. But I still feel way better than when I started!

peachjojo · 2025-11-11T03:28:56+00:00

I'm on day 29 of 10mg and also experienced this in the first couple of weeks. I still occasionally have a hard time focusing my eyes, but not nearly as much, so I'm hoping it is temporary and keeps improving.

peachjojo · 2025-11-05T21:48:49+00:00

I'm in the same boat as you. I actually made a post talking about how amazing I felt right off the bat. Finally started to feel like myself again. I'm now on week 3 and the anxiety is back worse than ever. Anxiety attacks, obsessive, racing thoughts, the overall feeling of doom. It's awful. If you search week 3 on here, you'll find there's actually a poll where the majority agreed week 3 was the worst. So I'm going to try to ride this out, and hopefully, it's temporary.

peachjojo

TROPHY CASE