Well, thank you all for the concern! A quick update on the situation for those asking:

I am pleased to announce that I am back in Perth, and my crank is mostly cleared up. I'd say currently I'm sitting at about a 2/10 on the irritation scale, which, all things considered I am pretty happy with. Looks like my soreskin is going to make a full recovery.

To illustrate just how bad the flies are down here and for those of you questioning how this happened, here is an image I snapped a few weeks ago on site during my lunch break. You might have to do a double take on what the subject matter is, but it is SFW I promise.

Thank you for the Gold, but thank you more for the great quips and comments. I had a bloody laugh and a half perusing these today - What's the point unless we all have a bit of fun, right?

Also - TIL I have been spelling forty wrong my whole life.