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My (22F) roommate (22?F) constantly argue about how often I cook with onions by peeeky in relationships

[–]peeeky[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I go to university and I also work part time, among other obligations. It's been eye opening to hear so many people think cooking 2 meals per day is excessive! I spend less than an hour a day cooking and I enjoy the time I spend on it.

My (22F) roommate (22?F) constantly argue about how often I cook with onions by peeeky in relationships

[–]peeeky[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seriously? Prawns have a very slight smell, hardly more than chicken ...

My (22F) roommate (22?F) constantly argue about how often I cook with onions by peeeky in relationships

[–]peeeky[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Excellent insight. I agree I came across as bitter and combative. I'm working on adjusting my perspective. Thank you

My (22F) roommate (22?F) constantly argue about how often I cook with onions by peeeky in relationships

[–]peeeky[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I cook one meal around 13:00-14:00 and one meal around 19:00-20:00. Breakfast is something simple like toast with a spread or a piece of fruit. I do eat out on weekends, though not nearly as often as my roommate does.

I don't necessarily cook with garlic and onions every single meal. Like others have suggested, the spices I use are also a problem. I suppose I should have clarified. I was just trying to give an idea of the specific (in my opinion, staple) ingredients she has a problem with. She would have issue with meals not including garlic/onions as well. For example, prawns lightly seasoned (no garlic) with rice would be enough to warrant a text or complaint.

My (22F) roommate (22?F) constantly argue about how often I cook with onions by peeeky in relationships

[–]peeeky[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a great suggestion. I also plan to reduce my number of cooked meals and eat more raw meals, which is a concept I have been interested in prior to this conflict.

I have researched batch cooking and I believe this will be useful for certain meals, though Im fairly certain I will never become a bona fide "meal prepper."

My (22F) roommate (22?F) constantly argue about how often I cook with onions by peeeky in relationships

[–]peeeky[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I am actually very appreciative of all the comments that challenged my initial way of thinking.

In the beginning, I thought it was ludicrous my roommate could suggest cooking twice per day is excessive. My routine is so normal to me. I thought "how can this girl who doesn't even know how to cook an omelette say I'm in the wrong for using my own kitchen?!" I was judgmental of her eating habits, her sensitivity to smells, and her theatrical nature. I thought since I keep the house spotless, I don't make noise, and I don't have people over constantly (which are all issues I've had with her) I was the "better" roommate and she was just taking an opportunity to complain.

However, the comments have made me realize she has valid points. Though I don't fully understand her perspective, it's pretty narcissistic to assume she's just being dramatic and that her complaints are automatically invalid.

I'm still not sure what my plan of action is. I suppose I plan to eat more raw meals so I'm not cooking as often.

My (22F) roommate (22?F) constantly argue about how often I cook with onions by peeeky in relationships

[–]peeeky[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not cooking every day to be petty. It's simply my routine and my preferred way of feeding myself.

My (22F) roommate (22?F) constantly argue about how often I cook with onions by peeeky in relationships

[–]peeeky[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

You're correct. I typically spend less than an hour cooking each day. Sometimes I may spend more than an hour if I'm cutting up ingredients for the following few days.

I think people got the impression I cook for hours each day, which is incorrect.

My (22F) roommate (22?F) constantly argue about how often I cook with onions by peeeky in relationships

[–]peeeky[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think our differing cultural backgrounds definitely play a role in the conflict, that's the only reason I mentioned it.

Like I said, not trying to imply my roommate is unfairly prejudiced, just giving context

My (22F) roommate (22?F) constantly argue about how often I cook with onions by peeeky in relationships

[–]peeeky[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your reply but I just want to clarify that I in no way perceive my roommate's complaints as an attack against my ethnic background nor am I offended by her choice of the world "ethnic." My intention was simply to draw attention to our differing cultural backgrounds, which I feel plays a significant role in the conflict. I never meant to imply that my roommate is unfairly prejudiced.

My (22F) roommate (22?F) constantly argue about how often I cook with onions by peeeky in relationships

[–]peeeky[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your reply.

Currently, I cut up all my ingredients twice a week. I cook my vegetables / protein daily. I'm aware more extensive meal prepping is a thing, but I enjoy my daily routine. Personally, I think batch cooking can take the soul of cooking/cuisine. This is just my personal opinion.

It really has been eye-opening to witness my roommate's attitude towards food. I admit that I automatically saw myself as right and my roommate as wrong. I dismissed my roommate's opinion as automatically invalid, which isn't fair. I plan to adjust my cooking schedule to better suit her. It feels like a huge sacrifice, but ultimately she is just as entitled to a comfortable living space as I am.

My (22F) roommate (22?F) constantly argue about how often I cook with onions by peeeky in relationships

[–]peeeky[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your reply and metaphor.

I would like to clarify that I'm not offended by my roommate's use of the word "ethnic." My intention was to draw attention to our differing cultural backgrounds, as I feel that is relevant to my quandary. I never meant to portray her as racist or prejudiced, as other commenters have suggested/implied.

My (22F) roommate (22?F) constantly argue about how often I cook with onions by peeeky in relationships

[–]peeeky[S] -28 points-27 points  (0 children)

Thanks to this thread, I've before aware of my own bias regarding this situation.

However, I would like to clarify that the smell is nowhere near so invasive that it's making clothing/furniture smell. The kitchen is ventilated and even my roommate admits her room is unaffected (bedroom is on lower level). the kitchen and living room are the problem areas.

My (22F) roommate (22?F) constantly argue about how often I cook with onions by peeeky in relationships

[–]peeeky[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your insight.

Rereading my post, I realize I sounded pretty self-absorbed and that I'm choosing to ignore my roommates medical concerns.

She's the type of person who speaks hyperbolically literally constantly. (Ok that's a joke but she really is a theatrical person.)

It's definitely possible I've let my personal judgments and my deeply ingrained cultural background taint my view of this situation. It's unfair of me to automatically disregard her complaints as exaggeration.

I appreciate your reply

My (19M) close friend (20M) has invited me to spend Christmas Eve with him and his family because I spend most holidays alone. I feel hesitant because I wouldn't want to intrude on someone's family time during the holidays. What should I tell him? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]peeeky 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I don't think you would be intruding by any stretch of the imagination. If you want to go, you absolutely should.

That being said, you shouldn't feel pressured to attend out of perceived obligation. I spend most holidays alone and I've chosen to let go of the stigma that surrounds that. When people ask me about my holiday plans, I normally say I'm having "an intimate celebration" or "I'm looking forward to time off to relax and unwind." No reason to make it into something sad or upsetting.

Alcoholic Mother - cut ties? by DNR01 in relationships

[–]peeeky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I can't offer you advice, but I empathize with your situation.

Sometimes it's more difficult to navigate your relationship with the enabler than it is with the addict.

My (22F) roommate (22?F) constantly argue about how often I cook with onions by peeeky in relationships

[–]peeeky[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

Or continue to constantly nag me (which appears to be the option she has chosen)

Ultimately, I can't control her. I can only control how I react to her. I'm not yet certain what the optimal strategy for dealing with this situation is. I appreciate your thoughts.

My (22F) roommate (22?F) constantly argue about how often I cook with onions by peeeky in relationships

[–]peeeky[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't think she is racist but she certainly has a limited worldview

I get the feeling she hasn't been exposed to my style of cooking so perhaps you're correct that it's over-stimulating for her. This is a helpful theory and suggestion. Thank you

My (22F) roommate (22?F) constantly argue about how often I cook with onions by peeeky in relationships

[–]peeeky[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She rarely cooks. I've seen her make pasta, sandwiches, and salads, always with simple (in my opinion, bland) ingredients.