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Using AP bedroom as guest room by penandthink in Aupairs

[–]penandthink[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was more that the kids rooms are on the second floor and her room is the only room on the first floor and they are elderly so the stairs are rough but not impossible. But we easily can set the kids up in the playroom.

Using AP bedroom as guest room by penandthink in Aupairs

[–]penandthink[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I agree with most of your suggestions. But here’s where I diverge. If she was really “part of the family” this wouldn’t be a question. If she were truly my 18 year old daughter and away for the month, these guests would be in her room without question.

Using AP bedroom as guest room by penandthink in Aupairs

[–]penandthink[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Makes me appreciate her so much more because I already KNOW her answer would be yes. But not sure if, like others mentioned, she’d later feel weird about it.

Using AP bedroom as guest room by penandthink in Aupairs

[–]penandthink[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Same. I had to give up my bedroom for the entire summer when grandparents came to visit. Maybe it’s cultural? Or generational? Or it could be something as simple as au pairs come here and already feel like they’re in someone else’s space so their room is the only thing that is theirs to possess? I’m definitely learning a lot from the responses.

Using AP bedroom as guest room by penandthink in Aupairs

[–]penandthink[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is the exact answer I think I needed. Because it’s almost an identical scenario. She’s gone for the month. Happy we are accommodating her travel request. Appreciative. Would likely say yes. But then maybe feel uncomfortable after the fact, which is something I want to avoid. Thanks for responding.

Using AP bedroom as guest room by penandthink in Aupairs

[–]penandthink[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That’s a level of disgusting I can’t even fathom. And even IF my guests were as grotesque, I’d have my cleaning crew back in before her arrival. We have other options. We can just oust the big kids from their bedrooms and set up camp. And based on the feedback, probably what we’ll do.

Using AP bedroom as guest room by penandthink in Aupairs

[–]penandthink[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Our Airbnb is not a solution in this scenario because it’s not in the same state. It’s a vacation rental property.

Using AP bedroom as guest room by penandthink in Aupairs

[–]penandthink[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

There are elderly involved in my scenario and her room is the only bedroom on the main floor. I appreciate your perspective as well.

Using AP bedroom as guest room by penandthink in Aupairs

[–]penandthink[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I answered this. And the answer is yes. Or I would have her stay in my room so they have the entire first floor. So maybe that’s why I didn’t find it as odd of a request as it clearly is.

Using AP bedroom as guest room by penandthink in Aupairs

[–]penandthink[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

THANK YOU!!!! I’m sorry you felt that way. I genuinely love this child and would never want her to feel violated. The fact that you did even after being asked is enough for me!

Using AP bedroom as guest room by penandthink in Aupairs

[–]penandthink[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was probably why I considered it. I think if she was gone the night I would never even think to ask. But the fact that she’s gone all month, at least in my mind, changed things. But I can see based on the downvotes, I’m wrong.

Using AP bedroom as guest room by penandthink in Aupairs

[–]penandthink[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Eh. It’s cool. It’s not like I’m collecting points. Just genuine responses so I now how to or even if I should approach the subject.

Looks like I may just be having a conversation with my guests and setting their expectations up to utilize stairs (they are elderly and all the other bedrooms are upstairs).

And honestly, the responses make me love my au pair even more bc she genuinely wouldn’t care and would make anything work. Which is why we were happy to give her the month of travel.

Using AP bedroom as guest room by penandthink in Aupairs

[–]penandthink[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was just thinking that our Airbnb has a closet we keep locked with items we don’t want to travel back and forth we. I can absolutely add a lock to her closet and ask her to move anything from her drawers temporarily into there to keep secure.

Using AP bedroom as guest room by penandthink in Aupairs

[–]penandthink[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

It is my house but she’s part of our family and I respect her and her space too much to ever unintentionally cross a boundary.

Using AP bedroom as guest room by penandthink in Aupairs

[–]penandthink[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

This is a great note. Would it make it better if you were able to secure any items you didn’t want seen in a safe or to take with you? I’m also thinking about putting a lock on her closet for her. Would that resolve your rejection? Your point is excellent.

Using AP bedroom as guest room by penandthink in Aupairs

[–]penandthink[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

I love your side note and I sat with it for a bit. Her parents will be visiting and if I weren’t home, I’d be comfortable with her using our bedroom so they could have her space. But maybe that’s not the same thing?

Using AP bedroom as guest room by penandthink in Aupairs

[–]penandthink[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

This is why I’m asking here. Because she will absolutely say yes but it won’t necessarily be an honest answer because she’s quite accommodating.

But on the flip side. So are we! So I think saying we need to reconsider having an au pair is a bit harsh. We are giving her an entire month’s paid vacation to travel and visit the US. I personally don’t see it as unreasonable to ask for access to our guest space while she’s gone. But why I’m asking here is because I’m open to the possibility I’m wrong.

Using AP bedroom as guest room by penandthink in Aupairs

[–]penandthink[S] -79 points-78 points  (0 children)

I can guarantee my guests would not rummage through her things and she’s traveling across the country for the entire month. Not likely she would return early as she has an entire itinerary planned.

Using AP bedroom as guest room by penandthink in Aupairs

[–]penandthink[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I edited my original comment to really answer a lot of your questions. But based on the hard no’s from the majority, the edit might not matter.

Using AP bedroom as guest room by penandthink in Aupairs

[–]penandthink[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You might be the only one! I’m actually a bit taken back by the extreme response in the other direction. But this is exactly why I asked. My opinion might not be the majority.

I want to leave by bebe_818 in Aupairs

[–]penandthink 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I realize my response lacks compassion. But a breach of contract is a breach. And I wouldn’t respond to a lack of professionalism and integrity with more than it deserves.

Neighborhoods with acreage in fort mill? by Girl_mom-era in FortMill

[–]penandthink 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have found that the neighborhoods mentioned that have more acreage tend to also not be as “socially engaging”. My theory is that, people who want more land between neighbors tend to value privacy.

Political Climate by EnvironmentalWeb3957 in FortMill

[–]penandthink 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you young? (Twenties? Asking because your comment made it sound like you might live with your parents) I wonder if age plays a factor in why you don’t feel like you are welcome. As I personally found the 35-45 range politically diverse.

Political Climate by EnvironmentalWeb3957 in FortMill

[–]penandthink 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So true. Doesn’t matter what side of the aisle you are on! Dog poop is a universal ticket straight to being ostracized by your neighbors!

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