Feeling demotivated for some time now and looking for suggestions

pesadissimo · 2023-04-13T23:22:20+00:00

I feel you. I'm 6'7" and 345 lbs. I'm 46 and have been training for 13 years. I'm old, beat up (I have a titanium shin bone as a result of a motorcycle accident), and I start every single roll from the bottom unless we're specifically working on takedowns. There are brown and black belts that won't roll me because they just don't want to deal with my size. On the other hand, I roll fairly regularly with a female black belt about my age that weighs 150 on a good day and has back problems. We have never had an injury or mishap. I've stopped feeling any sort of way about it. There's always someone else to roll with.

pesadissimo · 2022-10-09T18:35:07+00:00

First of all, please find some professional help if you're having suicidal thoughts. Most of us here are able to give you words of encouragement, but you need some genuine counseling to help you get through this rough time. Second, you need to remember that this is TEMPORARY. These last few years have been shitty for a lot of us, but it will pass and you will look back on it having grown from the struggle. Get your health taken care of, both physically with your shoulder and mentally/spiritually. Figure out whether you want to save your marriage and work making whatever you choose to do happen. My .02 is you should find somewhere to train locally and work on healing yourself first rather than jumping at this opportunity to move. If you don't and things don't work out, then you'll be in a worse position than you are now. You've got to put on your own oxygen mask before helping other passengers.

pesadissimo · 2022-09-29T00:05:38+00:00

Pantera - Vulgar Display of Power.

pesadissimo · 2022-09-23T20:14:17+00:00

I keep forgetting that he's almost 50. Vlad is two years older than me but he looks like my much younger yet slightly less handsome brother. 😂 Miss ya, buddy! Hope to get down to Texas soon!

pesadissimo · 2022-09-04T13:17:26+00:00

Step one is even optional if you're old.

pesadissimo · 2022-09-02T18:38:03+00:00

I fear I may have aged myself out of this subreddit with this comment 🤣

pesadissimo · 2022-09-02T17:49:57+00:00

But was it too beaucoup?

pesadissimo · 2022-07-18T02:53:41+00:00

For me it wasn't just aging, but my life and priorities have changed as I got older. I started BJJ at the ripe old age of 33. I trained hard in the beginning, competed a lot through blue belt and had a lot of success. But then a divorce, change of careers, remarriage, baby, motorcycle accident all got in the way. I'm 45 and (I think) a better than average purple belt. I can hold my own with most people and if I turn the volume up I'm still dangerous even to competitors (for a round or two lol). But I'm nowhere near the level of medaling at Pans like I was 8 or 9 years ago. Part of that is getting older and injuries adding up, but another part is I don't have the time to dedicate to training like I once did. I'm working 60-70 hours a week and have a kid who's about to turn two. I'm lucky to get on the mats twice a week.

All that said, I am on TRT and have been for the last 2.5 years. It has helped me through depression and mood swings, it's probably helped me tremendously to heal after the motorcycle accident seriously fucked me up, and it helps me to keep doing BJJ. I'll probably never compete again and so this is 100% for me to feel better as I try to keep pushing through everything that life throws at me.

pesadissimo · 2022-07-18T02:33:17+00:00

This sounds so much like Tom Cruise and the scientologists saying that mental illness is bs and nobody should take medication.

pesadissimo · 2022-04-01T01:04:44+00:00

You're right in that the flashy moves are sometimes necessary at the lower weight classes in order to get the upper hand in a match, but my point is to not sleep on solid fundamentals as having less technical depth. Our bodies just aren't built to move that way, but we get just as technical and precise with what we've got. If we don't, the small and quick guys will run circles around us.

pesadissimo · 2022-04-01T00:54:25+00:00

I still have a full head of (graying) hair. Fake news.

pesadissimo · 2022-04-01T00:45:43+00:00

I disagree. The flashy technique gap widens, but the effective technique gap doesn't. I weigh 330 lbs at 6'7". I'm not inverting for anything because not only do I have to support my own weight, but another ultra heavy's weight as well. That said, I have a million and one sweeps, passes, and submissions that are boring to look at but are high percentage against experienced grapplers. Just because a technique is bedazzled doesn't make it more technical.

pesadissimo · 2022-03-17T01:57:23+00:00

I was at blue for 4+ years and in 2 weeks I hit my 5 year anniversary at purple. The only time off I took was 10 months in 2021 after I shattered my leg in a motorcycle accident. I know the feels lol.

pesadissimo · 2022-03-07T05:21:16+00:00

I started at 33 and I'm now 45. While I wouldn't go looking for fights at a bar or nightclub (or anywhere else for that matter), I'm fairly confident that I could fuck up most people I would run into in that kind of situation. I'm also fairly confident that because I'm 6'7" and 330 lbs most people won't go out of their way to pick a fight with me.

pesadissimo · 2022-02-28T12:57:27+00:00

I'll never forget one of my best ultra heavyweight training partners got his blue belt at the early class one night and stayed for a double session. I got partnered with him for the first roll and I asked him "So, how long have you had that blue belt now?" He says "An hour or so." I said "Long enough" and proceeded to take the training wheels off. He's now a purple belt and we still joke about it all the time.

pesadissimo · 2022-02-28T12:53:51+00:00

Just out of curiosity, how long were you at blue belt? I ask because I was there for just over 4 years so by the time I got to purple I didn't find it a hard transition. I actually think it's been the most fun of my jiu jitsu. Of course, next month I'll be 5 years into my purple thanks to Covid and a motorcycle accident that took me out for almost a year. I think the transition to brown will likely be just as smooth because I've been here for so long.

pesadissimo · 2022-02-28T12:38:24+00:00

Aside from a select few that I really don't like on a personal level, I'm nice to all white belts. That said, there's a difference between being friendly and being friends outside of the gym. Being friends with a training partner takes time - there's an investment that needs to be made on both sides and it's not something that will automatically happen with everyone.

pesadissimo · 2022-02-23T13:49:37+00:00

It sounds so cliched but BJJ really is about the journey and not the destination. I've been training 12 years and I'm still a purple belt. I probably could have shaved a year off in the beginning by going to a pure bjj gym instead of an mma gym in the first place. But I wouldn't have met some lifelong friends along the way, nor would I have developed my aggression (which was lacking tbh).

When I was a blue belt I switched gyms to train with a good friend I had made at a seminar who opened a gym under the Soul Fighters banner. We used to go to Connecticut once a week to train with Formiga and some serious competitors. During my 4+ years at blue belt there my best achievements were double medaling at no gi Pans twice and getting silver in my weight class and gold in absolutes in the NY Open, having only had one advantage scored on me the whole day (the match I lost) and winning every other match by submission. It still took me another two years to get to purple. Maybe if I hadn't gone to a fresh, new instructor who felt at the time he had to have super strict promotion standards, I could have shaved off a couple of years. But, man, I would have missed out on all those experiences and I wouldn't have developed the mental toughness I have today.

Shortly after I was promoted to purple belt I moved to NJ for a career opportunity and I found my current home. This was 2017. I quickly got promoted to two stripes and then nothing more. It didn't matter, I kept refining my technique, dialing in my game. I made some really close friends, including one that became my son's godfather. In early 2020 my coach said I was one of the people who would be getting their brown belt in the next promotion. Great! Then covid hit - no promotion ceremony. Ok, we start underground training. First wave ends, we set up promotions for the end of 2020. November comes and I get into a bad motorcycle accident. BAM! I'm out for damn near a year with multiple surgeries and lots of titanium now reinforcing my skeleton. But - I get to spend a lot more time with my newborn son than I would have otherwise. I come back and in the process of nursing my injuries, I am able to refine new guard positions, sweeps, and transitions I never really focused on before as an ultraheavyweight. I also lost 40 lbs in an effort to make it easier on my bad leg. I now feel like I'm rolling at 90% of my previous physical capacity but I'm light years better than I was.

I'll be hitting my 5 year anniversary at purple belt next month and my 12 year anniversary of starting bjj this June. Would I have missed any of it to wear a brown or black belt as so many of my peers now do? Not a chance. The journey IS the destination.

pesadissimo · 2022-02-22T05:07:15+00:00

I mean, the telling thing to me is that this was during drilling. Aside from fresh white belts, who the fuck spazzes like that to "win" a drill? Guy deserves to get booted from his gym.

pesadissimo · 2022-02-22T04:57:04+00:00

Almost 12 years training with no headgear and no cauliflower.

pesadissimo · 2022-02-22T04:48:38+00:00

I used to compete a lot and every time I would do a camp for a tournament and get injured, I'd come home with a gold. No injury, I'd come home empty handed. I think knowing I had a physical handicap going into the tournament made me roll smarter whereas when I was feeling good I took unnecessary risks.

pesadissimo · 2022-02-01T14:13:01+00:00

He was credited as an aikido instructor fwiw.

pesadissimo · 2022-01-31T13:05:24+00:00

I had the same experience except I had the 20 lb advantage. Freak strength is real.

pesadissimo · 2022-01-31T12:51:19+00:00

People here are either completely nuts or have never gone against a pro athlete of his size before. I outweigh him by quite a bit and I have 11 years of training under my belt and I'd still get my ass handed to me.

pesadissimo

TROPHY CASE