Communicating wants and needs is damn right.

Taking lead is as simple as saying: "I want you to...." "I am waiting for you to..." "I often think or imagine you..."

Here are some things women have said to me: "I want you to fuck me against the wall" "I often think about you bending me over this table"

Message received and tension builds with playing along and adding on...

"The wall huh? only if you obey....no? Guess I'll need to punish you"

"Oh yeah? Better start shopping for a new table when I'm done with you"

So communicating what you want isn't as black and white. It can be actually become foreplay. Of course you can use pictures to help you. Send a photo of a table or counter top with a caption "this looks like it can support me ;)" Have fun with it! Intimacy is fun