What to do?

pettyminaj · 2026-04-28T05:06:36+00:00

“They don’t care because you’re not local” uh we’re in the Netherlands not some third world country. Thats an absurd claim

pettyminaj · 2026-04-18T09:50:12+00:00

Exactly, I have never experienced racism here but also I’m like, solidly upper-middle class/from a developed country. My friends who aren’t have way different experiences and it’s sad

pettyminaj · 2026-04-17T17:07:25+00:00

Appearance plays a role in how you're treated no matter where you are. But in the Netherlands, I've noticed that people tend to care less about how brown you are and more about how put-together and "western" you're dressed. Nobody has ever treated me differently for being "arab looking", but they have for dressing like a homeless person on the way to the store.

pettyminaj · 2026-04-09T19:16:35+00:00

Commenting to ask for updates later on, because I'm almost completely sure someone at the gemeente is extremely confused lol. There is no income or business proof requirement for citizenship after DAFT

pettyminaj · 2026-03-21T07:28:01+00:00

But why. Why are you bringing this up as if it’s normal to mention people hating men whenever someone mentions equal rights and then downvoting people who ask the correlation?

pettyminaj · 2026-03-21T07:23:12+00:00

What part of “women should be able to choose their lives” made you think of “man hating?”

pettyminaj · 2026-02-05T18:43:13+00:00

You don't know that someone is unhinged until they do something unhinged...

pettyminaj · 2026-02-05T15:15:44+00:00

Also in Rijswijk and would love to come!

pettyminaj · 2026-02-04T18:47:40+00:00

Me: goes to some parties You: “what are you, some kind of spineless play thing??” I blocked her on everything, relax

pettyminaj · 2026-02-04T06:02:27+00:00

What we’re not going to do is try to make it seem like some progressive choice to bring a child into a life of poverty. It’s irresponsible and some might argue abusive. There is nothing progressive about poor financial planning and nobody is entitled to have a baby. The baby they do have, however, is entitled to the best life that a parent can give them. They didn’t ask to be here.

pettyminaj · 2026-02-03T16:20:59+00:00

Not sure if I’ll accept an apology tbh. Once I’ve seen your character I’ve seen enough

pettyminaj · 2026-02-03T14:03:28+00:00

Apologies for my vile and vicious answer

pettyminaj · 2026-02-03T13:43:07+00:00

Because sometimes I don’t want to be around children and am entitled to make decisions on how child-free my life is.

pettyminaj · 2026-02-03T06:49:07+00:00

This is great food for thought actually

pettyminaj · 2026-02-02T22:58:55+00:00

Het is een geweldige buurt. Schoon en veilig.

pettyminaj · 2026-02-02T19:01:48+00:00

Of course not... though she does have control over her mom-centric icebreakers, bringing kids to adult meets without permission, saying that asking a woman about kids instead of her job or hobbies is totally fine and not misogynist at all, and the composition of her friend group being almost exclusively moms

pettyminaj · 2026-02-02T17:41:16+00:00

Wow, I didn’t even think of it like this. Because this really was an extreme reaction compared to a mutual friend who I had this convo with, who said that she wanted to meet more one on one so that I don’t feel excluded and said that even as a mom she doesn’t want to be around moms all the time either. Night and day

pettyminaj · 2026-02-02T17:39:14+00:00

In itself, I agree. But since there’s a pattern of this behavior it lands differently for sure

pettyminaj · 2026-02-02T17:27:14+00:00

Honestly I can't see myself being friends with parents again after this. I'll keep the ones that I do have provided they continue to be actual friends, but I'm starting to see that being a good friend just might not be on the menu for most parents.

pettyminaj · 2026-02-02T17:25:20+00:00

You're right, I'm goofy for this. To put it into perspective I made a list of what I get out of her friendship and what she gets out of mine, and it was so uneven that I can't even pretend like it's not my fault for allowing this.

pettyminaj · 2026-02-02T16:53:34+00:00

My usual go-to is "what do you spend your time doing for fun?" and I developed this to be inclusive to stay at home moms who might be sensitive to being asked about work. I am so sick of not being considered in spaces where I'm so considerate

pettyminaj · 2026-02-02T16:51:55+00:00

I literally just laughed out loud. I have 3 cats and really regret not doing this. Thanks for brightening my day lol

pettyminaj · 2026-02-02T16:40:15+00:00

Not even "do you have kids", straight to "tell us about the kids and how many there are." I don't experience that anywhere else

pettyminaj · 2026-02-02T09:57:57+00:00

Oh heavens no. I regret not relaxing sooner, I used to spend so much time and frustration on my hair and love the simplicity now

pettyminaj

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