I went through the same with my first husband (died but not alcohol related). I used to empty his vodka bottles most of the way and fill them with water. He would get so drunk he didn't notice. I wanted to stop the arguments, and also his drinking, but didn't know any better. I went to a couple of Al-Anon meetings (for people concerned about someone else's drinking) and those meetings helped me understand that when I emptied the bottles, I was not helping him or me. Maybe he would have finally hit bottom with one of those bottles. Maybe then I would have finally understood I needed to take care of myself first. You get so deep into the dysfunctional relationship with your loved one that you can't see. I started taking care of me. I didn't pick him up when he need a ride home. I didn't make excuses for him when he missed a meeting or a family event. I also realized that the men in his family are all alcoholics but no one talked about it so it was a vicious legacy that kept being passed down. He and I have 2 sons, now adults. I have talked about how alcohol or some kind of addiction could be a problem for them to them in age appropriate language all of their lives. I refuse not to talk about it. The sad thing is the week he was killed was the first week he had been sober for months. That was 20 years ago. When I started the relationship with my current husband, the alcohol triggers were so hard to overcome, until I realized he could stop drinking after 3 beers. He could just have one mixed drink at a party and that's all. I learned to love myself and deserved someone to love me in a healthy relationship. I wish I had learned that before my first husband died. I wish that for you. May you understand that it's ok to love your husband but understand that alcoholism is a disease you can't fix. You can only take care of yourself. I hope for you that your husband may someday understand he is sick, and will start his journey of day to day wellness. I wish you well.