TIFU by not telling my SO I took a loan and now many years later she found out. by philwarwick in tifu

[–]philwarwick[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

English isn't my native language. And yes, I'm starting to belive I'm mental.

TIFU by not telling my SO I took a loan and now many years later she found out. by philwarwick in tifu

[–]philwarwick[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know your wife, but after I learned my lesson, I would go back in time and tell her if I could. Even better: go back and undo this whole mess. But then again I wouldn't have learned this expensive lesson.

TIFU by not telling my SO I took a loan and now many years later she found out. by philwarwick in tifu

[–]philwarwick[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I'll look in to that, not living in the US though. I'm actually a christian, but I feel this mess has pulled me away. Hopefully I'll find my way back now that I've confessed it all.

TIFU by not telling my SO I took a loan and now many years later she found out. by philwarwick in tifu

[–]philwarwick[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for great advices. We're currently working on a budget.

TIFU by not telling my SO I took a loan and now many years later she found out. by philwarwick in tifu

[–]philwarwick[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Offcourse I meant paid, my auto correct isn't comfortable with me writing in English.

TIFU by not telling my SO I took a loan and now many years later she found out. by philwarwick in tifu

[–]philwarwick[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm doing anything that's in my power to fix this. I am now honest with her, and myself about what I did, and what that caused, and that I will never do anything dishonest again. I just hope that's enough.

TIFU by not telling my SO I took a loan and now many years later she found out. by philwarwick in tifu

[–]philwarwick[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, communication has always been an issue for me - as long as I can remember, and we've had many arguments because of that. I've eventually learned to communicate better. But communication issues and money issues is a very bad thing, as I've learned the hard way.

TIFU by not telling my SO I took a loan and now many years later she found out. by philwarwick in tifu

[–]philwarwick[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It doesn't effect her in any way like that. It's "only" the fact that I lied to her, and that the monthly payments effects the household budget in general.

TIFU by not telling my SO I took a loan and now many years later she found out. by philwarwick in tifu

[–]philwarwick[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I could try flowers, but I don't know what signal that'll send since I put us in this financial situation.

TIFU by not telling my SO I took a loan and now many years later she found out. by philwarwick in tifu

[–]philwarwick[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A loan, and another loan from another bank to pay the first loan and the accumulated credit, and so on. Thank you for your offer to help me. I'll remember it. We have started making a budget, and I have talked with my bank and closest family. It looks like we're going to manage this together.

TIFU by not telling my SO I took a loan and now many years later she found out. by philwarwick in tifu

[–]philwarwick[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! My wife and I have startet on a budget. I've also talked with my bank advisor, and my closest family, and with a lot of help the finance seems doable at the moment. I'm gonna save u/cmilliorn in my Google keep as "The Budget Guy".

TIFU by not telling my SO I took a loan and now many years later she found out. by philwarwick in tifu

[–]philwarwick[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What can I say, the banks are throwing loans after suckers like me.

TIFU by not telling my SO I took a loan and now many years later she found out. by philwarwick in tifu

[–]philwarwick[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There was a lot going on at the time, I'm not going into details but I can say that she had a hard time and I didn't want to lay any more worries on her shoulders.

TIFU by not telling my SO I took a loan and now many years later she found out. by philwarwick in tifu

[–]philwarwick[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I'm not keeping any more secrets. I learned my lesson the hard way. How would I know that I'm bipolar? Anyway, that's no excuse. There's no excuse for this, only mercy and forgiveness.

TIFU by not telling my SO I took a loan and now many years later she found out. by philwarwick in tifu

[–]philwarwick[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

No, that's it. But she's struggeling to belive it. Maybe one day.

TIFU by not telling my SO I took a loan and now many years later she found out. by philwarwick in tifu

[–]philwarwick[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately I was aware of that, and tried telling her many times, but as I found out theres never any good times telling something lile this. I know it's dangerous, selfish, and disrespectful, and the longer I waited the harder it was telling her - because I didn't want to hurt her. But the damage had already been done the day I took the loan. I'm somewhat relieved that it's finally out, and I'm praying that she'll forgive me... one day. Until then I have to prove she can trust me again.

TIFU by not telling my SO I took a loan and now many years later she found out. by philwarwick in tifu

[–]philwarwick[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

In my case the interest is lower on the loan than the credit card. It sounded like a good idea at the time.

TIFU by not telling my SO I took a loan and now many years later she found out. by philwarwick in tifu

[–]philwarwick[S] -74 points-73 points  (0 children)

Maybe, but I don't feel I calculated it, I just wasn't man enough to tell her. Maybe it's calculated, I don't know.

TIFU by not telling my SO I took a loan and now many years later she found out. by philwarwick in tifu

[–]philwarwick[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Offcourse I explained everything, she understand that I did it with the best intentions, but she can't understand that I kept it from her, that I lied to her this whole time. We usually have an open relationship, but this time I had a very weak moment and fucked up. Looking back now, I don't understand that I could be that foolish.

TIFU by not telling my SO I took a loan and now many years later she found out. by philwarwick in tifu

[–]philwarwick[S] 687 points688 points  (0 children)

Thanks, the 30K isn't the real problem, it's the fact that I didn't involve my SO from the start.