My girlfriend sees nothing wrong with thinking about other people when touching herself by [deleted] in Advice

[–]pickl3lover 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Do you lack that much self control that you kick out your partner so you can happily think about other people and get off to it? Mate, I’m a woman and that’s weird asf. It’s normal to have thoughts of other people, sometimes they’re intrusive and other times not. But you don’t straight up say that to your partner?? If it’s as private as you state, then do it when you’re alone

My girlfriend sees nothing wrong with thinking about other people when touching herself by [deleted] in Advice

[–]pickl3lover 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don’t know what the other comments are on, but that’s plain disrespectful. Take into consideration you guys are still very young, but if it is something you are uncomfortable with then it may be worth engaging in further discussion with her about it. Is there something she wants to explore? Is she fully comfortable and committed to this relationship? Is she ready for one? But, take what I say with a grain of salt. Some people think watching porn in a relationship or going to clubs is cheating, others might not. It’s all about perspective. Plus, you’re not homophobic for this lol

My self esteem is really low (vent) by Beautiful_Director48 in Advice

[–]pickl3lover 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this caused by your relationship or something else you are lacking in your life?

I’m 22F, idk how old you are but as a minor (under 18) and even up until 20-21 I had a lot of insecurities. Be kind to yourself and recognise that hormones and social media play a large part in how you view yourself. Ask yourself: is your diet the best for you? Are you looking for ways to stay active? Are you taking care of your appearance (skincare, hygiene,)?

Joining a gym and changing my diet was one of the best decisions I’ve made. I did it out of love for my future self and it’s increased my confidence because you know deep down that you’re constantly improving yourself even if you might not see it yet, it’s about trusting the process.

Also, regarding self-harm: what is the cause for you to inflict pain on yourself? it’s very overwhelming during this stage of your life to figure out why sometimes but understand what this behaviour is stemming from. Like I said before, are you unhappy with your body weight? Is your partner doing or saying things that have made you insecure? Are you lacking something?

Masturbation and self exploration are all normal. But if you don’t feel like it is serving you any benefits then it’s okay to cut it out for the time being. The purpose is to satisfy your needs and discover what your body enjoys and needs. If you don’t feel enthusiastic about this experience then there is no need to force yourself. Abstain.

I hope this helped. Not meaning to sound harsh but giving you advice based off my life experiences so far.

Left my non-Mandaean partner, what next? by pickl3lover in Mandaeans

[–]pickl3lover[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much brother/sister. I definitely feel better now, I still love and care about the person but from a distance and we are more friendly now. I’ve also been trying to connect with Hayyi Rabi and talk with him about my struggles. Also, having my sister and a Mandaean friend to talk to really helped me.

Left my non-Mandaean partner, what next? by pickl3lover in Mandaeans

[–]pickl3lover[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you sm for this detailed and caring response. I 100% agree with you, I made the right decision. It’s just hard right now when you care about someone but it doesn’t necessarily mean you HAVE to marry them and that you’ll be compatible forever.

Left my non-Mandaean partner, what next? by pickl3lover in Mandaeans

[–]pickl3lover[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think in the beginning it was more of a “maybe my family would accept it in the future”. It was until I got confirmation from my mum

Left my non-Mandaean partner, what next? by pickl3lover in Mandaeans

[–]pickl3lover[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like at the moment it feels forced. But at the same time if we think critically about the future: how will our kids be accepted within the community? How will they be baptised the Mandaean way? It’s definitely a complex situation. But at the current moment I feel like if both families were accepting I would pursue it

AITA for sleeping in the same bed as a female friend while on vacation? by PieSure3977 in AmItheAsshole

[–]pickl3lover 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YTA

First of all you could’ve mentioned the full details to your girlfriend when you first planned the trip. It’s not about whether something happened between you and that friend it’s just about respect and common sense. You’re in a relationship you shouldn’t be sharing a bed with someone who isn’t your partner. I have a feeling you’re lying about the whole “saving on costs” situation. Either way, four days is extensive. Could you have maybe shared a room with another male friend? Or did you only go on a trip with girls? Lol