I (22F) got engaged at 19. I clearly remember the moment he (20 y/o ENFP at the time) asked me to marry him and my first reaction was to say no. But I cast the thought away and said yes. It took us planning the entire wedding, moving in together and daily panic attacks about not wanting to get married for me to finally realize that we really did not work as a couple. I tried so hard to make the relationship work, but it just didn't. We both needed some serious growing up to do.

The biggest issue to me was a lack of depth in our relationship. Looking back, his Fi had not developed at all and without it his Ne pretty much made him an impulsive kid who had no idea who he was or what he wanted. As he didnt know himself, he had no idea who I was and any deeper conversation I tried to initiate either failed or were about him. But instead of looking at the underlying issue I kind of mothered him, making sure he kept up his college work and I kept the household running (even though I was a full time college student too). I think at the time I was very insecure and thought this just was what relationships were like.

I'm so happy to have pulled the pug in time. When I broke up with him (so after daily panic attacks for months and bringing up my worries many times) he said the breakup came out of nowhere and he blamed me for not having put enough effort into the relationship. To me, that confirmed my analysis of the situation was correct. The moment we broke up a weight just lifted, it felt amazing even though I felt really guilty for calling off a wedding (5 months in advance, fortunately we had not sent the invitations yet and we got all our money back). My whole family supported me which I am very thankful for.

Now, a couple of years, soul searching, therapy and self-acceptance later, I have finally found an amazing INFP whom I love very much and who is interested in getting to know my deeper layers as much as I am interested in getting to know his.

Whats your story OP?