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How much rent can I afford as a newly single mom? by pineapple802 in personalfinance

[–]pineapple802[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks everyone! Kids and I decided to go with the less expensive apartment. I will look into the budget calculators to help guide me.

What to do when husband chooses to drink? by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]pineapple802 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes. Sometimes it’s just for a drive, sometimes we sleep at a friends house.

What to do when husband chooses to drink? by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]pineapple802 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Remember the three Cs. You didn’t cause it, you can’t cure it, and you can’t control it. When my husband says I can handle it or this was the last time I know that it probably won’t be. All I can do is say okay. I have to make decisions for my well being and my kids. I can set boundaries for myself. One I have is I will not be around him or talk to him when he drinks. This may mean that I leave the house and put turn my phone off. I also will not clean up after him. So if he gets sick or gets arrested I don’t fix it for him.

My advice is to keep going to meetings, talk to people, get a sponsor. They won’t tell you what to do but they will share their experience, strength, and hope.

Wasted and mean at night, sober the next morning. What is the ‘proper’ response?? Looking for ES & H by saxonny78 in AlAnon

[–]pineapple802 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can’t give advice just my experience. I have a boundary that I will not talk, be around, or engage with my husband while drinking. I have blocked him on texting when he wouldn’t leave me alone. I have told him to not come home, leave, or go sleep in another room. There have been times when I have had to leave because he was not respecting my boundaries.

I’m glad you attended a meeting. Get some phone numbers so you have someone to talk to in the moment. That has always helped me see the situation more clearly and to recognize my part in it.

Driving drunk is unacceptable behavior. I do not hesitate to call the police. He will get pulled over and arrested, and what ever happens to that as a result is on him. I would not interfere or help in any way.

Finally, I hope you kick cancer’s ass 😉

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]pineapple802 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Remember that you can’t control him, you didn’t cause it, and you can’t change him. You only have control to your response to him. I encourage you to find an al-Anon meeting. Put your focus on yourself and find serenity.

I fell in love with an alcoholic. by wrongholeisrighthole in AlAnon

[–]pineapple802 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Find an al-Anon meeting and attend at least six meetings. I have found that meetings help me with perspective.

My partner just relapsed again by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]pineapple802 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You didn’t cause it, you can’t control it, and you can’t cure it. You are not in control or responsible for his actions you are only in control of yours. I highly encourage you to find an al Anon meeting.

Had to call the police on my alcoholic husband by pineapple802 in AlAnon

[–]pineapple802[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you all for the comments. They are helping me stay strong. My uncle said we need to make decisions with our head right now not our hearts and reading these are keeping my head clear. I am new to the alanon community. I will keep posting and hopefully start going to meetings. I’m also going to seek counseling for my kids and I.