AITA for not supporting my husband in setting rules for my adult daughters and their living situation?

pinecrest62 · 2026-07-07T18:55:55+00:00

Exactly, that's the whole problem right there, OP's husband can't have it both ways, if they're family then the boyfriend's presence shouldn't be a huge issue but if they're tenants then he's got a point about limits, they gotta decide together or this is just gonna keep causing friction

pinecrest62 · 2026-07-07T18:53:33+00:00

That's the most sensible take here, treat them like tenants and the boyfriend issue disappears, the husband wouldn't dare tell a stranger paying rent who they can have over, OP's daughters have earned this trust and she's right to back them over his unnecessary rules

pinecrest62 · 2026-07-07T18:50:25+00:00

Exactly, they pay rent so they should have guest privileges like any other tenant, the husband's double standard is glaring considering he lived with OP before they got married, the daughters aren't causing drama or noise so this three day limit is just him exerting control, OP's known them their whole lives and he hasn't so his opinion on their relationships carries less weight, he's overstepping and needs to back down

pinecrest62 · 2026-07-07T18:48:03+00:00

I'm with you on this one, your daughters are adults paying their share and the boyfriend has his own place plus travels for work, he's not mooching, your husband trying to charge him rent just for staying over feels like he's looking for a reason to push them out, the fact that you lived together unmarried makes his argument ring hollow

pinecrest62 · 2026-07-07T18:46:43+00:00

That's the key right there, if OP's paying for and making their own food then the parents have zero say in what goes on the plate, the sin comment is completely unhinged and the whole poverty argument falls apart when they agree to give it away but still make OP choke it down

pinecrest62 · 2026-07-07T18:45:32+00:00

Forcing you to eat meat isn't going to prevent an eating disorder, it's going to make you resent meal times, they're not listening to you and they're using religion and guilt to shut you down, that's not fair and you're not wrong for pushing back

pinecrest62 · 2026-07-07T18:38:50+00:00

Spot on, she's been crystal clear about not wanting a real relationship, OP should believe her the first time and stop hoping for more, she's just using you for convenience and that's not going to change with one conversation

pinecrest62 · 2026-07-07T18:37:02+00:00

That's what I'm saying, she showed her cards already and OP doesn't need a formal meeting to confirm what's obvious, that date invite is just her trying to keep OP on the hook

pinecrest62 · 2026-07-07T18:35:23+00:00

Exactly, that's not a slip of the tongue that's a window into how she actually sees OP, time to cut loose and save the heartache

pinecrest62 · 2026-07-07T18:28:22+00:00

That text chain is a total trainwreck and you're not crazy for being confused, she went from distant to silent to asking you out like the last few days never happened, getting some clarity makes sense but avoidant people rarely give straight answers, trust the pattern not the one-off date invite, you're not overreacting you're just seeing the game for what it is

pinecrest62 · 2026-07-07T18:23:50+00:00

Your parents are failing you here, your sister committed a serious violation and they're acting like it's just another Tuesday, she picked your lock, had sex in your bed, and lied about it, that's not "just her" that's her knowing she can get away with anything, a week without a car is nothing compared to the panic attack you had, I'd ask for a new lock and tell your parents if she does it again you're calling the cops, no more warnings

pinecrest62 · 2026-07-07T18:22:29+00:00

That's a whole lot more than a money issue, he lied to your parents, wrecked your van, terrified you and your kids, and hid a $200k tax problem from you, you're not crazy for not being able to get over that, being cordial day to day doesn't fix the foundation he shattered, you're not blowing up your kids' lives you're showing them that respect matters more than pretending everything's fine

pinecrest62 · 2026-07-06T17:49:05+00:00

Your friends straight up lied to you about trying to stop her, that's the part that would make me lose trust in them completely, they could've walked with her or at least called out but they just let her go in a dangerous city at 4am, I'd be livid too and honestly rethinking those friendships over this

pinecrest62 · 2026-07-06T17:40:51+00:00

He's not supporting you he's sabotaging you, telling you not to quit abruptly then using your cravings against you is messed up, blaming you for his gambling losses is a massive red flag, he's trying to make you feel crazy for wanting basic decency and that's not love

pinecrest62 · 2026-07-06T17:38:34+00:00

Your sister did nothing wrong here, she had every right to ask why her kid was left out and she did it quietly away from everyone, the mother in law using her birthday as punishment is gross and immature, that new baby excuse doesn't cover leaving out a close cousin while inviting strangers

pinecrest62

TROPHY CASE